Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for September 2013

“All I could do was scowl angrily”

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On my way back home from work, I was in a good mood because I was listening to the lovable minions’ cover of “YMCA”. So, I was walking along and a guy was approaching from the opposite direction. As he passed by me, he reached his hand back and tried to grope my butt. I immediately turned around to tell him what a scumbag he was, but all I could do was scowl angrily at his back as he walked briskly off before I could even open my mouth.

Thank you, random butt-grabbing jerk, for ruining my good mood.

– hinatathekawaiimono

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Verbally abused by Chicago biker: What to do?

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I was on a bike, stopped at a red light on my way home. Suddenly a young man crossed in front of me on his bike and began screaming at the car behind me. The car came around me and braked in the middle of the intersection. A man got out and yelled at the biker but not as fanatically as the biker was yelling at him. The biker was screaming things like, “Oh you’re in a car. You dick. There’s a bike lane” etc. Then the biker turned to me and said, “YOU’RE A WITNESS!” I just stared. The light turned green. I said, “Um, can we go?” and the woman in the car next to me said, “Yeah, that would be great.” The man got back in his car and I biked past the biker.

That’s when things got weirder. This boy biked up from behind me and slowed down really close. It was a dark and isolated part of Cortland just past an underpass. We had this exchange:

Him: Hey. Hey! Why didn’t you defend yourself?
Me: Wait, what?
Him: Why didn’t you F***ING DEFEND YOURSELF?
Me: I didn’t think I was being attacked.
Him: Yes you were. That guy was F***ING YELLING AT YOU.
Me: Oh. Um… I guess I didn’t care?
Him: F***YOU. You are a f****ing c***. You know that? YOU ARE A F***ING C***.

He then pulled out a bottle of liquid (I think water, but I’m not sure) and sprayed me in the face with it.

He called me a “f***ing c***” and sprayed me in the face with a water bottle.

I was so stunned to be assaulted by this child over something that had nothing to do with me that I just pulled around on my bike as he sped past.

He must have thought he was defending all cyclists (and maybe women) and couldn’t handle the possibility that I wouldn’t be on his side. The thing is, I wasn’t threatened. I didn’t even realize the motorist behind me was even slightly annoyed.

For someone to take an instance that has nothing at all to do with him and use it as a platform for his own rage and anger management issues is unacceptable. I was a bystander and I was sprayed in the face and called a “f***ing c***.” Can’t imagine what would have happened if we had actually been in direct confrontation over something.

I think this person is dangerous. He is in his 20’s, very pale white. Wearing a Chicago flag baseball cap and riding a road bike. He has very long black hair, many tattoos, and a septum ring in his nose.

Is there anything I can do about this one particular person? Is there anything we can do?

– WR

Location: 10 PM corner of Elston and Cortland, Chicago, IL

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Physically accosted three times near home

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Oh man. Where do I begin? I guess I’ll start at about 11 years old. I would walk home from school, less than a mile, but over that school year, I started to get male attention. It would come in the form of men honking at me as they drove past in their cars, or more often, follow me as I walked. I would walk down a busy street so there was always a business I could turn into and be secure…more or less. Better than trying to outrun a man in a car.

Men would stop and pull up next to me and start saying things like, “Hey baby, need a ride?” That one was very common.

But twice in the same school year, a man got out of his car and followed me to my house on foot. As soon as I could get close enough to my apartment complex and not give away where exactly I lived, I ran as quickly as my little feet could go. Once, a man in his forties tried to convince me to date him…when I was 14. He gave me compliments and mixed them with reasons for why I should give him my number.

Over time, this progressed to the point where I’ve been physically sexually assaulted three times within a half mile radius of my house. The first time it was physical was actually on my 21st birthday. I was wearing a cute new dress I had bought just for the day. I was walking home from the mall with my earphones plugged into my head trying to not pay attention to the honking and hard stares as other me passed by. I just kept walking like it was nobody’s business, but this man that was following me, made it his business to ruin my day. He followed me to my front door. Tailing me, I didn’t notice him behind me, and as I started to look for my keys in my purse, he pushed me forward onto my own front door and lifted my skirt up. I dropped everything I had in my hands and turned to swing. I was hoping to break his nose and cheekbones, but I missed and he ran like the devil was after him. I felt so victimized.

On a day that I started out feeling beautiful and sexy, and happy to look forward to going out with friends and my whole day was ruined. I was shaken, adrenaline was pumping uncontrollably and I was very angry and emotional.

I called my manliest male friend and tried to explain the situation, but in describing the man, it could have been anyone. So if I brought my claim to the police, they’d be looking for about 50% of all men in the Valley. He was Hispanic and that’s all I saw.

Once again, victim, and no way to punish the offender.

The next time, I was exiting a restaurant, when a man came out stumbling drunk and grabbed my ass and then my waist. I did get to nail him in the face before running away. But it was hard for me to go anywhere after that. That was over a year ago.

Now, things have normalized again, and I’m not looking for my next potential rapist as much as I am trying to keep all men as far away as possible.

Today, as I was waking to my bus stop, a man followed me in his car, cat calljng me. No big deal, I’ll just ignore him and he’ll go away, I thought.

Unfortunately I could hear everything as I learned my lesson about the earphones. He pulled over and tried to persuade me to get into his car by saying I was beautiful, it’s such a hot day, you should be in my car and all the like. I told him to fuck off. He took that as “get out of your car and follow me,” which he did.

I told him if he didn’t stop following me, I would call the cops. The police station happened to be pretty close by at the next light about a block over. He said call them, so I turned and just kept walking. As I turned from him he grabbed my arm and pulled me around. I struggled free and pushed him away. I ran to my bus stop and found another man there. A middle aged man about the age of the man who grabbed me. Crying, I told him, look, I may need your help. A man just grabbed me and I don’t know if he’s still following me.

I was so scared. I got on the bus to take me to work and I just cried. I felt so helpless and disgusting and low. This was really demeaning and it made me raw. There were other men around to witness this and no one helped me. He could have forced himself on to me if I hadn’t fought back instantly, he may have gotten the better of me. I just knew my fear of rape was much larger than what I’d have to do to get away from him.

I wish there were a way to change this, but there seems to be no way to stop it. It deters me from the idea of a boyfriend or even having kids. It’s truly a sad situation.

– F.C of the Valley

Location: Van Nuys, CA

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Take Action: This YouTube Channel Normalizes Street Harassment

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UPDATE: Sign the petition to YouTube!

By: Julie Mastrine, USA

It’s no secret that society accepts street harassment as a normal part of women’s experiences in public spaces. Company after company has come under fire for trivializing street harassment, pegging it as a joke, compliment, or a great way to get a date. Many of those companies have rescinded or apologized for these portrayals. Now, a popular YouTube channel is the latest perpetrator of harmful attitudes toward street harassment — and we need your help to get it removed.

Simple Pickup is a YouTube channel that features three guys as they harass, sexualize and often downright grope women on the street, all in the name of “picking up girls” and “giving you tips to help guys like you, get laid,” according to the user description. Unfortunately, the channel has over a million subscribers, and the message it sends is clear: it’s totally okay to harass women on the street, sexualize them, make them uncomfortable, and touch them without their consent.

The channel boasts 94 videos, but after watching just two I found enough harmful content to make my stomach lurch. In one skit, three men speak into an earpiece, encouraging another man to approach random women in public and do what they tell him to. “Just start dancing and back your ass up into her,” they advise, and shockingly, the perpetrator obliges. In another video, a man approaches a girl outside of a bar and asks, “So which one of your boobs is bigger? This one or this one?” as he gropes her chest.

Video after video on Simple Pickup’s channel makes a joke of harassing random women as they walk in public. Among the more sexualized comments the men make to strangers — most of whom have their faces hidden or blurred — are:

“What is the biggest cock you’ve ever had up your asshole?”

“This right here means you like to have your face jizzed on.”

“I know I’m in a wheelchair, but what’s in my pants is still able to move.”

The men seem to think the whole shtick is hilarious, often dressing up in costumes to carry out their acts. But street harassment is not funny — it is threatening, scary, and limits people’s access to public spaces.

And Simple Pickup isn’t just a YouTube channel — it’s actually a small business that profits off of these videos and provides lessons in street harassment under the guise of “learning how to pick up girls.”

Here’s how you can help — tell YouTube to remove Simple Pickup’s channel. On the user page, simply click “About,” select the drop-down flag and click “Report User.” From there, you can select “Hate speech against a protected group” and then “Gender.”

All women deserve respect in public spaces, and Simple Pickup promotes non-consent and harmful attitudes about women’s bodies and agency. Street harassment is not funny and should not be treated as a joke or a way to get a date — and YouTube would do well to take this trivialization seriously.

Julie Mastrine is an activist, feminist, and writer working in the PR industry. She holds a B.A. in Public Relations from Penn State University, and is a social media volunteer for Stop Street Harassment. Buy her new e-book Make Your Own Sandwich: A 20-Something’s Musings on Living Under (And Smashing) The Patriarchy and follow her on Twitter.

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Help Art Campaign “Stop Telling Women to Smile” Travel Around The Country

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Our friend artist Tatyana Fazlalizadeh – the woman behind the “Stop Telling Women to Smile” wheat pasting and t-shirts – is launching a Kickstarter today for an exciting new project!

From Tatyana:

Stop Telling Women to Smile is my public art project about gender based street harassment. I started this project in Brooklyn last fall and to my surprise, it has been viewed and shared around the globe. This work is very important to me, and I the huge response to it just shows me that it’s important to other people as well. Therefore, the next logical step for this project is to take it across the country to new cities.

I plan to create all new pieces in several cities that address the type of harassment that happens specifically in that area. I’ll sit down with women to interview them and hear their stories of harassment. I’ll then draw their portraits and use them to design new posters, including text that is inspired by their words. Those posters will be wheat pasted in that particular city – allowing women to use their faces and voices to speak out against the exact type harassment that happens to them in their communities.

I’m launching a Kickstarter campaign to fund traveling to specific cities around the country. Funding I receive will go towards travel expenses, lodging, materials, producing and shipping the donation rewards, and bringing on board a filmmaker to document this entire process. I’ll be giving away shirts, prints, original art, and more.

I encourage you to donate to her campaign if you can! Her art is so powerful and has already raised a lot more awareness around the problem of street harassment. I just made a donation 🙂

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