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Archives for November 2013

Youth Event in Cameroon

November 30, 2013 By HKearl

Zoneziwoh Mbondgulo, founder of Women for a Change Cameroon and Stop Street Harassment’s Safe Public Spaces Mentee in Cameroon, held a successful final event today. More than 20 youth (boys and girls, including several youth with hearing impairment) came together to talk about gender-based violence, gender equality, and street harassment in their communities. They all wore orange as part of the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence.

Zoneziwoh will write more about the event, but I wanted to post this quick note because I’m excited about how the event went and want to congratulate Zoneziwoh on her hard work!

 

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Filed Under: Events, SSH programs, street harassment

“Drawing as much attention as I can”

November 30, 2013 By Contributor

I wasn’t going to post originally but I guess reading other stories got me pretty angry.

I’ve had it a few times – to the shopkeeper casually calling me “sexy” whenever I go in for a redbull or whatever on the way to a lecture, to the builder “pssssshting” me when I walked past, again, on the way to University.

Those are nothing compared to past experiences which I’ll relate now.

There are three, maybe four experiences which really scared me, and still do when I remember them.

I was once waiting for a bus outside my school, at the bus stop in broad daylight (about 4pm) when a guy probably in his late teens – early 20’s, pulled up, rolled the window down and told me to get in his car.

I was obviously stunned, refused, and backed away slightly. He kept on TELLING me to get inside, and after a few minutes, called me a slut and drove away.

About a year or so later, I was waiting for a bus to work, in a different area of the city.

A car pulled up across the road, and a male in his late 30’s got out, crossed the road, and came over to try and engage in conversation.
When ignoring him didn’t work, I told him very clearly that I didn’t wish to speak to him, and he walked away and got back in his car.

In another incident, I had a male pull up, and ask for directions. When they were given, he made out that I should just get in the car and show him, and he’d give me a lift. Do I look that stupid?

Those were all a few years ago, last week, I was actually followed home – and it was terrifying.

I thought I was being paranoid at first as I crossed a road and the guy continued walking – until I came out of a store and he was lurking.
He then followed me for ten minutes, all the while saying, “hey”, “hey girl,” “miss”, and various things.

As I went inside and was unlocking my door (university accommodation, we have a guard inside thankfully), he looked back and smiled, and it infuriated me so much that I ended up hissing “freak” at him.

It’s not so much the catcalls in the street, or even the gropes in nightclubs (in which I’ve poured my drink over few men’s heads) but the more sinister experiences like the ones I’ve had.

It’s absolutely terrifying, and you feel powerless, and like a piece of meat.

After reading past stories from people, I’m not taking it anymore. I’ve been scared before and ignored it – sometimes it doesn’t work, and you get people poking you or just continually talking, but now I aim on yelling/screaming/and just generally drawing as much attention as I can, and hopefully embarrassing the idiot.

– Sarah

Location: Manchester, England

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Look at the handlebar on that”

November 29, 2013 By Contributor

I was in McDonalds on Tottenham Court Rd. I was queuing to order food and there were two construction workers in the queue next to me . One of them looked at me and loudly said to his colleague, “Look at the handlebar on that. It’s disgusting. She looks like a man.”

I kept quiet and continued queuing . To be honest I was in shock. I paid for my food and went to get ketchup etc. They followed me over, laughing and repeated the same comments. They said, she must be growing it for Movember and walked off laughing I felt physically ill and so upset afterwards.

– S.C.

Location: Mc Dobalds , Tottenham Court Rd

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Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Holiday Shopping Part 1

November 29, 2013 By HKearl

Black Friday is upon us and if you’re looking for holiday gifts that can also support a cause, check out some of these gifts and books. 50% of proceeds from the two books on the left will benefit Stop Street Harassment and 10% of all Zazzle items will, too. The Zazzle products are up to 60% off through 1 p.m. EST/10 a.m. PST today!


Also, save some money for our online auction that starts on Tuesday (100% proceeds will go to Stop Street Harassment). Items will include books, DVDs, art, desserts, and also big ticket items like two nights at a Miami hotel!

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Filed Under: Resources, street harassment

South Africa: The Role of Men during #16Days

November 29, 2013 By Correspondent

By: Gcobani Qambela, South Africa, SSH Correspondent

Trigger Warning

I was shocked to see a tweet by controversial South African blogger, Sentletse Diakanyo on the first day of 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence in South Africa. In the tweet, Diakanyo says that: “We must not ignore the slaughter of unborn babies during this 16 Days of Activism.” He went on to have more tirades about how “life begins at conception” and that even if women conceived children under “violent circumstances” it’s still unacceptable for women to “slaughter” ‘innocent life’. His main premise being that during 16 Days women should not look at gender-based violence but also at murder women commit to “unborn babies”. He further likens abortion to rape and says both should be “equally condemned” as they are criminal.

What triggered me as I read these tweets was not the inaccuracy of the statements made by Diakanyo, but the extent to which he successfully managed to derail the conversation from 16 Days to a conversation where many people had to move from sharing about gender-based violence to correcting this misinformation he was sharing. Yes, scientific evidence indicates that life does begin at conception, but personhood/humanness only begins after birth so women are not slaughtering babies when they terminate pregnancy. Yet, Diakanyo concludes “We will condemn criminal acts [of abortion] regardless of what feminists think.” This is despite the fact that abortion is legal in South Africa.

Many people have noted that Diakanyo gets some self-pleasure for triggering and making others angry, especially if they respond to his ignorance. This appears to make him happy and satisfied with himself. This is what has made writing this post difficult as I wondered: how do I respond to this bigotry without giving so much meaning to patriarchal garbage spewed by Diakanyo? I further thought: what is my role as a man living in a violently patriarchal society like South Africa? And lastly I wondered: what is my role during this 16 Days?

In the chapter “Is Paris Burning” bell hooks notes that many heterosexual identifying black men living in white supremacist cultures like the United States (and South Africa I would argue) always behave as if the primary “evil” of racism is the “refusal of the dominant culture to allow them full access to patriarchal power” and hence they continue to exhibit “a phallic misogynist masculinity [that is] rooted in contempt for the female.” This is the way I choose to read Diakanyo. In many of his writings, Diakanyo appears to challenges white supremacy and white capitalistic forces in South Africa and globally, and yet instances like these show us that he is not driven by an attachment to justice and overcoming global systems of oppression but a concern with having what white patriarchal men have in South Africa. This is not only in reference to economic power and material ownership, but also the full patriarchal dividend that will allow him full ownership and control of the female body.

Diakanyo’s remarks in South Africa are a part of larger societal project of patriarchal men who want to demonstrate their phallic power by waging war on the bodies of women and all that is “feminine”, which as hooks notes includes also gay men (and the larger LGBTIQA community). It is not a coincidence that Diakanyo chose the 16 Days to express his misinformed opinion on abortion, rape and the bodies of women. It is his way of derailing a conversation from discussing patriarchal male violence into one that not only blames women for exercising their constitutionally given right to bodily integrity and reproductive choice but one that places women’s bodies at the centre of the patriarchal male gaze.

So what should be the role of men during 16 Days? There are many well documented problems with the concept of 16 Days because many argue that it should be throughout the year and not just 16 days and I agree. However, this does not mean that I do not recognise its importance. I live in a country a country where a woman has more chances of being raped than learning to read, so if women get 16 Days in a year where they can tell their stories and activism without threat of violence our responsibility as men should be to listen. When we talk it should be to help elevate the voices and agency of women, and not derailing like Diakanyo.

I really think Diakanyo’s tweets are worth reporting to the South African human rights commission. In South Africa while freedom of expression is also a constitutional right too, this right is limited in that it should not be exercised in a manner that unjustifiably limits the rights of others. Diakanyo is limiting the rights of women by intentionally spreading incomplete information to limit women’s right to bodily integrity during a time when women are meant to enjoy freedom from patriarchal male body policing. It’s just unacceptable!

Gcobani is completing his Masters in Medical Anthropology through Rhodes University, Grahamstown, South Africa. His research centres around issues of risk, responsibility and vulnerability amongst Xhosa men (and women) in a rural town in South Africa living in the context of HIV/AIDS. Follow him on Twitter, @GcobaniQambela.

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Filed Under: correspondents, male perspective

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