Archives for November 2013

I was walking through student housing neighborhoods on my way home to my apartment. I was with another female friend and we passed a house at the same moment that five males came out the front door. We were talking and only glanced at the noise, but one of them shouted, “Hey sluts!!” to us. I instinctively turned around to say something but realized a reaction is what they were seeking. So I turned back around and we kept walking.

They continued to shout things at us: rude, insulting comments. I do not care if they were sober or highly intoxicated – it is not an excuse. Who do these people think they are? How could someone possibly think they have the right to speak to a stranger in such an offensive way?

The worst part is that that one word will stick with me forever. I am sure they have forgotten about it and will never think about it again. But I will not forget. How it felt to be talked to in such a way. They don’t know me. How dare someone speak to another human being that way.

It infuriates me that we live in a world like this. I am so angry at these monsters that think they can treat women this way.

And what’s unbearable is that if their goal is seeking control, sometimes it works. Every time this happens to me, I plan a new route, or avoid going out late at night. When I do this, they have gained control over public space by removing my comfort and feelings of safety in that area.

How do I stand up against this while still being safe? I am so incredibly frustrated.

– Anonymous

Location: Madison, WI

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

There was a time we, ladies, were made to believe that getting unwanted attention or snide comments from guys was a sign of femininity or worst still your fault for being provocatively dress. But most people who have been harassed on the street already knows this is a farce. Before, every time I was stepping out of my house,I used to check my dressing over to ensure I wasn’t encouraging these disturbing comments and reactions; I became so self conscious until I finally gave up trying to figure out why men could be so crude.

A visit to the market, a walk on the streets and I hear guys whistling- not all guys- and when you don’t return the attention I hear words like. “f**k you,” and “I want to have sex with you,” etc. Some even held me and said, “Hey, I am talking to you,” or a male counterpart calls and says, “That guy is calling you.”

It is really disturbing. I used to respond before with insults but now when I have to walk I just leave my house with my headphones on and ignore comments and glares. This is not a solution, we need the street to be safer!

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I told my friend yesterday when we were both held by this man trying to get us to look at his goods that I need to get a pepper spray. Also, people need to be educated, especially in my country, they see street harassment as a normal reaction from male and do not care that we-ladies- are uncomfortable. Our mothers need to talk to their son on how to treat ladie.

We also need more campaigns so it can sink into the community that this is wrong and WE ARE NOT ACCOMMODATING it any longer.

– Mobolaji.F

Location: Nigeria

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

I was walking to work at a Smithsonian museum in Washington DC. I entered the museum and walked towards a ladies’ bathroom. One of the male guards there said, “You need to smile, baby,” and I turned to him and said directly, “Repeat that.” He did, but this time did it nervously (there were people around, most of them women). Then I said, “Do not do that.” and walked off into the bathroom. When I walked out, he was gone.

I felt good having to hold him accountable for the way he talked, and I could tell he felt embarrassed. But when I spoke about it with someone else, he told me that interaction with harassment is a mistake-“you enter their world, so to speak, and that makes you unsafe.” he said. I don’t know if he is right.

– Anonymous

Location: Smithsonian, Washington, D.C.

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

Not “street” harassment specifically as this took place in a restaurant.

My mother and I decided to go grab an appetizer somewhere. We had a completely fabulous time and right when we were thinking of leaving an older gentleman invited us to sit with him and his co-workers at his table. I figured why not? My mom’s single and he appeared to be interested in her so we did.

We get to his table and are introduced to his friendly co-workers and hang out and chat for a little bit when he begins insulting my mom. I’m embarrassed that I was so shocked that I hardly even responded to him.

The first sign of trouble was when he turns to me and says something about my mom being 52 years old. I told him he was aiming a little high and then I asked, well how old are you? He was disinclined to respond so I joked that perhaps it was a rude question and he agreed that it was…? Oh well, I figure.

Somehow we go from this to him bluntly and loudly asking my mom, “So what are you, 52?” and then he states, “So you’re a cougar.” My mom and I looked at each other like, “WTF?” I did my best to play it off for the benefit of everyone at the table, but I really really wish I had just called him on being so rude and had left right then and there. At this point it was obvious his poor co-workers were like, why the eff are we hanging out with his guy? Oh and at one point he tried to say that she was a cougar even if she was potentially interested in HIM. Yeah! HIM! THE OLDER EFFING GUY. His explanation was that he’s ONLY 46…? So in this guy’s mind somehow the woman he assumes is 52 (she’s 49) is a cougar because she’s potentially interested in a 46 year old??

Eventually one of the co-workers just suddenly gets up to leave so we obviously do too and apparently this guy took the opportunity of us waiting for our coats to KISS my mother. What in the…? She was so shocked and confused she didn’t even tell me until later. I wish she had slapped him!

What a creep. I think now that I’ve experienced this I will be more willing to call out this kind of behavior. I regret having responded so politely, but at least I erred on the side of caution.

– Anonymous

Location: A fancy restaurant

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!