Heather Frederick, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
Violence exists in a continuum. From one child yelling at another to nations going to war, violence takes many forms. Street harassment is one form of sexual violence that is still overlooked, under-reported and in general, ignored.
As we know many times people who are subjected to street harassment are told “it’s no big deal” and to “just get over it,” but having your physical safety threatened in public is a big deal. And how you get over it is very personal; some people feel best when they ignore harassment–turn the music up and move on with the day, and some people feel best when they combat their harasser–giving the middle finger or yelling back.
No matter what you do in the moment to keep yourself safe, it’s important to take care of yourself later too, when you’re in a place that you feel safe reflecting on what happened.
While it has taken decades for the legal system to recognize that sexual violence is, in fact, a crime, the varying natures of some sexualized crimes are still not yet protected by law. Finally in the US rape, sexual assault, marital rape and sexual abuse are considered criminal, but when it comes to being honked at the laws can be less useful. Because protections against street harassment vary from state to state, and even from town to town, knowing whether or not you can or should contact the police can be tricky. And if you’re in public because you’re on your way somewhere, taking the time to report what happened may not be an option. If you think you may want to report it later writing down what happened in a text to a good friend, or taking a voice note on your phone can help you recall the details. And if you’re the type to Hollaback! having a picture of your harasser is likely to make it a lot easier for the police to find them.
A lot has been written on how to respond to street harassment when it’s happening, and we’re beginning to have conversations about how to prevent/combat street harassment in the first place, but so far there hasn’t been a lot of focus on dealing with how it makes you feel. Personally when I am harassed I go through a range of emotions: fear, embarrassment, anger, sadness and numbness.
The negativity surrounding my experiences is what lead me to become involved with Stop Street Harassment, and I encourage you, especially if harassment is something that affects you regularly too, to get involved in your community, because you are not alone. Also, take care of yourself. We live in a culture that moves at lightning speed all the time, where doing something for yourself is seen as selfish and weak, but sometimes slowing down, caring for your emotional self, is about survival.
Self-care can be as simple as doing some deep breathing when you get to a safe place, or as elaborate as getting a massage on a weekly basis, whether you’ve been harassed or not. Some people throw themselves into their work, if they truly enjoy it, and others spend hours debriefing with friends. Whatever you like to do, whatever helps you relax and take your mind off what happened, that’s what you need to do. Physical stuff like yoga, sports or running can be a great way to release negative energy, while anything creative like baking, music or art can be a great way to express yourself. Volunteering for something in your local community not only lets you give back, it can help you meet people who have similar interests and lifestyles. Journaling is also a helpful tool, not just for dealing with street harassment, but for sorting out your feelings in general.
So no matter what anyone says to you during your commute, know that you deserve to feel safe in public, and have a right to take care of yourself in whatever way works best for you. Now go do something to take your mind off street harassment!
Heather Frederick works a Supervisor for The National Dating Abuse Helpline, www.loveisrespect.org. Her passions include intersectional feminism, reproductive justice, languages, travel, blogging at www.FeministActivism.com (@FeministSNVA) and bringing an end to human rights abuses.
