I am a woman. I’m on my way out for the night. I am tall, thin, white, and wearing a skirt with heels. These are all simple facts.
I am young. I live in New York City. I type this on my smart phone. My phone tried to auto-correct live to love. That is also true.
I get onto the train. Two men enter. I have on headphones because I saw this coming while I was getting ready an hour earlier. One sits – the other stops and leers. He sits – gets his friends attention and motions to me – obviously. They leer together. They talk while looking directly at me. If not for my noise canceling headphones – I could hear them. I am choosing not to – yet I am still becoming angry.
Eventually – I choose to walk to another section of the car to sit. The man across from me is looking at me every time I look up.
Let me stop you right there. This is not flattery or flattering. I am not conceited nor do I think they are looking at me because I am a wonderful, beautiful woman worthy of love and respect. I chose the word leer for a reason.
I am a woman. I love to dress up. I live in New York City. And sometimes I walk around un-chaperoned. This becomes a problem.
This becomes a constant of headphones in my ears. This becomes me clutching my keys in my pocket everywhere I go. This becomes I’m a bitch because I don’t say thank you to their catcalls. This becomes I was asking for it because I’m wearing a skirt and I am a woman alone.
This is a problem. A legitimate one. This is conditioning. This is my worry every time I leave the house. This is what Margaret Atwood meant when she said “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them; women are afraid that men will kill them.” This is reality. This runs through every woman’s head. This is not just a lack of being “raised right.” This is a lack of respect. This is harassment.
Men. Tell other men this is unacceptable. Women. Be yourself – dress however you please – stay safe – speak out. When someone harasses you – tell someone else.
Keep talking. Keep spreading awareness.
Stop street harassment.
– Mallorie Carrington
Location: New York City, R Train
