Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for April 2014

Thank You — Anti-Street Harassment Week

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Dear Community –

THANK YOU for making International Anti-Street Harassment Week so impactful this year.

* We had our largest number of co-sponsors and from the most countries yet — 25!

* We had more than 30 major news hits, including New York Times, with more to come.

* There were rallies, events, sidewalk chalking, flyering, street theater, wheat pasting, and lots of online engagement.

* We raised awareness from Australia to Nepal, from Germany to Peru, from San Francisco to Boston.

And that’s what this week is all about — raising awareness and amplifying each other’s voices.

If you participated in the week, please:

* Report on your actions! This will be used in the annual report and potentially in blog posts/articles about the week.

* Send photos to hkearl @ stopstreetharassment.org for our Photo Album!

Now that the week is over, of course our work isn’t done. We will continue speaking out on this issue daily and hope you will, too.

Next up for Stop Street Harassment is the release of our national study on street harassment in the USA — out on May 20!

Thanks again for your involvement in another great week of awareness,

Holly

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“This was my first sexual contact”

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I remember I was 14 years old and still in that awkward looking stage where I felt uncomfortable with my changing body. I was sitting at a Border’s reading a book when I noticed an old man looking at me a few feet away. I tried not to react too much but as the minutes passed by, he kept staring. Finally when I was about to get up from my chair and leave he approached me. I frowned and was about to say something when he leaned in really close and started to rub himself against my arm. This was my first sexual contact with someone else and I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t start to yell at the pervert or make a scene of any kind. I just sat there, frozen, until he left a few seconds later. To this day I’m completely embarrassed that I didn’t do anything during that time considering that I was in a crowded bookstore and not alone with him in some back alley.

– Alyssa

Location: Border’s Store

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“We should teach them differently”

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I don’t have a story, I have stories. Lots of stories. I don’t have time to tell you all of them, and you don’t have time to read all of them. I do have a small selection. All men (and women, too) should know that the following is NOT OK:

– Walking past a woman and shouting, “Daaaammmmn,” while rolling your eyes over her.

– Walking past a woman and stopping in front of her to stare at her chest.

– Coming up to a woman to tell her: “You make me so horny.”

– Grabbing a woman’s ass as she walks by.

– Walking circles around a woman (or, at the time, a teenager) while masturbating.

– Flashing your genitals at a woman.

– Pointing at a woman when she walks by and talking about her like she won’t hear a thing. This isn’t a compliment. It doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel objectified. It makes me feel anxious to walk past group of men. It makes me feel dirty.

When you walk up to me and tell me that I’m making you so hot, right there and then, it makes me feel like you just raped my mind. Sure, I like compliments. And sure, I can take a compliment. Yelling that I make you hot is NOT a compliment.

Touching me is NOT a compliment.

There is a person inside this body. Please address her. Tell her that you’re sorry for being so forward, but that you think she looks beautiful and that you just wanted to say that. She will be delighted to take your compliment. THAT is a compliment. THAT is something to cherish, and THAT is something that will make me smile. The response you get in return will be a lot better, I promise.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Raising awareness! It seems a lot of men genuinely don’t realise the hurtful things they say and honestly think they’re giving compliments. And even if they don’t, it’s just what’s normal for them because they don’t know different. We should teach them differently.

– N.S.

Location: Everywhere

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“It made me angry every single day”

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I was in a new city, in a new country, working a school-sponsored internship. On my college student budget, I figured I could easily do the mile walk and save myself the fare for a second bus and get a little extra exercise. This thrifty decision taught me that a lack of respect for women knows no international borders!

Four times a week, I made this walk. Every single week, at least two of these four times, I encountered some form of street harassment. Catcalls, honks, men pulling over their cars and trying to talk to me, you name it. They always avoided physical contact, so I didn’t think it was worthy of complaint, but it made me angry every single day.

As an adult, I should be able to walk down a street, in broad daylight, dressed in professional attire and feel comfortable. I never did. I felt embarrassed, dehumanized, exploited, and never, ever flattered.

The thing that made me most angry was the futility of this action that made me so uncomfortable. Did they think I would stop and offer them sex, right there on the street? Or even a date? Does any women ever do that? Did they think that’s the way to woo a woman? Did they think I liked it?

– Anonymous

Location: London, UK

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I was harassed on my run during Anti-Street Harassment Week

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Running Stop Street Harassment is my part-time unpaid job — and unfortunately this week travel/event for a paid job overlapped with International Anti-Street Harassment Week. So I’m in Arizona, multi-tasking as much as I can, and also jetlagged.

I woke up earlier than needed today and had time to go for a quick four mile run along the sidewalk of a trafficked road (and to also quickly write this!). I really needed it after a 21 hour day yesterday that was preceeded by four hours of sleep and a 17 hour work day (#EndSHWeek + regular job = a lot of work!). I only had a mile left and my mind felt clearer, my body stronger, when I heard a beep from an approaching car. I was on the sidewalk and not in the way so I looked up surprised… only to see a white middle-age man making a creepy/vulgar face at me. At 7:15 a.m. UGH.

I wasn’t in danger and he was gone in a second, before I could react,, but it was demeaning, disgusting, and annoying. What did he hope to accomplish by doing that? To show he is a man in public space and can demand my attention in a creepy way? To treat me like a piece of meat?

It’s pretty ironic, huh, that the founder of International Anti-Street Harassment Week can get street harassed during International Anti-Street Harassment Week?

It happened last year during the week too, while I was helping hand out anti-harassment flyers at a Washington, D.C. Metro station. A man kept asking me if I was married and could he talk to me after I said no. He even had an anti-harassment flyer in his hand he had picked up from someone else.

I heard about other female activists getting harased while speaking out against the issue last year during the week – women from Oregon to New York were the target of men’s harassment as they wrote anti-harassment sidewalk chalk messages and participated in rallies. So far this week, I’ve heard about an #EndSHWeek tweet chats getting attacked by anti-women tweeters.

That’s the thing about this issue — no woman is immune. You never know when it will happen or why or how far it will escalate. You never know why you’re being targeted. You may not always feel safe to respond or have time to, like in my sitation this morning.

I’ve given close to 150 talks on this topic alone and many of them are at night. I hate that after we talk about the issue and what we can do, the reality is, many women who hear my talk still leave the room and worry about getting home safetly. They talk about checking the back seats of their cars, going to bus stops in groups, and strategize which streets to avoid while bicycling home.

I HATE that I can’t stop my friends, family members, the people who attend my talks — or myself — from being harassed, even though I work on this issue every day.

One reason why I founded International Anti-Street Harassment Week was to try to harness actions and work of small groups around the world who are working on this issue to garner more attention, to get larger groups and organizations and governments on board.

And it is working. When the United Nations, New York Times and Everyday Health are tweeting about the week, writing about the week, and participating in it, we’re making progress. But we do need more groups, more people to be involved. I hope anyone out there reading this will pledge to take a stand. Will share a story or talk about this issue with one person today. Make everyone aware that this is a problem.

Yesterday I was at an Arizona high school doing art work against street harassment with students and one student’s poster slogan was this –  “I want to be able to walk down the street safely at night — or anytime.”

That’s all we want. To be safe. To be unharassed. To be respected.

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