Last week my wife and I saw a 2013 indie movie called “The Way Way Back.” It stars Steve Carrell as a very overbearing single parent boyfriend to Toni Collette who is a single mom that is desperate (for male attention). Steve Carrell’s daughter is a snotty/”cool” older teen and Toni Collette’ss son is a geeky/awkward younger teen. The four go on a summer vacation to the shore (a place Steve Carrell and his daughter have gone to for years and know all the other people that live around them). The vacation is ostensibly a trial to see of the four could live together as a “modern family” in the fall.
The story is revolves around Toni Collette’s son. At the beach, his awkwardness is enhanced and comes to a head when the potential step-sister treats him like trash in front of her friends and Toni Collette and Steve Carrell treat him like a 14 going on 13 year old instead of a 14 going on 15 year old when they periodically worry about him when they “come up for air” from their need to deepen their intimacy.
Finally disgusted by his mom and no longer willing to put up with his future step father or his daughter the boy finds a pink stingray bike that is way too small for him and makes his way to town. He comes across a water park and the manager (Sam Rockwell) sees him for what he is and takes him under his wing. The boy doesn’t tell his mom or Steve Carrell what he is up to all day. He becomes an employee, is accepted and in general this is a great coming of age tale. You really want to like the boy and are happy as he overcomes various little geeky awkward things inherent in his 14 year old self and he eventually gains enough courage and maturity to stand up to and expose the Steve Carrell character to his mom and she realizes he has used her — they leave the vacation early, with a newfound bond and resolve to be strong individuals.
But one of the things the movie portrays makes me uncomfortable. It is only one short scene lasting perhaps only 1-2 minutes, but it spoiled the whole show for me. As the boy is socialized by fellow employee/lifeguards at the water park, all older teen males, one of the things they show him is their ritual of making “sexy” girls stop at the start of the high/long water tube, the premise is that there has to be spacing of the people entering in the tube so they don’t run into each other and have an accident, but what they are really doing is looking “checking out the flesh”. As the 14 year old protagonist gains confidence you see him do the same thing he saw the older boys do–as if this was a sign he had come out off his childish ways and become a fill fledged adolescent/man.
There it was. A good/great show with a good message, ruined by just a small side scene. It was there, and why?
What do we do? How do we address these kinds of wrong cultural messages and tell our young boys this kind of thing is not right? How do we get film makers to stop including these messages in their films? btw, 2 of the 8 listed producers were female!
– AK – Hoping to be Considered a Male Ally
