Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for June 2014

“Hey, How Much? … Hey, you, How MUCH?”

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I was walking with a friend in the city after an evening of summer festivities that always excites us, the Arts Festival. It was late, I’d say around 12:45 a.m. We were crossing the street and a man (or shall I say boy) yelled from the car at the stop light, “Hey, how much? … Hey, you, how MUCH? Fifty dollars for some head?”

The yelling continued as we crossed the street and proceeded down a trail that leads to the garage where we were parked. My heart was racing and I was in the midst of a panic attack when my friend told me to slow down. She continued to tell me that the more I look as if I’m affected by their comments the more they would continue to harass us. My fear was so intense I could feel my heartbeat work its way up my throat into my brain. I was filled with anger, near rage.

Once we reached the safety of my car, I burst into tears. I was hurt and offended. I even questioned the way I was dressed and asked my friend if I looked like a prostitute. Not that it should matter in anyway mind you, I was wearing an ankle length skirt and a long sleeved sweater. Again, not that what I WAS wearing matters.

I was relieved to see your article today as it mentions that fear is a normal response. Because I always become afraid in these scenarios and my friend does not I thought something was wrong with me . It is comforting to know that this is a normal response to what happened. I had to address the situation with my therapist. Thinking about the event still brings tears to my eyes.

– Anonymous

Location: Pittsburgh, PA

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“They pulled out a knife and said they’re going to stab our boyfriends”

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My female friend and me on the train were approached by a group of teenage boys. They wanted our telephone numbers, we said no multiple times, they didn’t stop. We said we have boyfriends. They pulled out a knife and said they’re going to stab our boyfriends.

– Anonymous

Location: Germany

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USA: Reframing the Street Harassment Conversation with Men

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Kirstin Kelly, Monterey, California, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

We cannot stop street harassment from happening unless we understand why people do it in the first place.  To this end, I interviewed three mechanics at various stages in life, two of whom my boyfriend has witnessed engaging in street harassment.  All three men were more than happy to talk about what I referred to as catcalling (I didn’t want to shut them down by labeling it harassment), but none of them admitted doing it recently.  The two my boyfriend had seen admitted to catcalling women when they were younger.

All three men said they thought catcalling was stupid, and none of them were really sure why it happened in the first place.  However, they did point out that there were at least two good reasons for it to keep happening: sometimes it is an effective way to pick up women and it makes for a good joke between friends.  These two incentives tell us a lot about what we need to do to stop street harassment.

When I asked what they thought we should do to stop street harassment, the men I spoke to said that it was nature, that it’s impossible to prevent that behavior.  I disagree.  Across all theories of normative psychology, people are only motivated to engage in a given behavior if they believe their behavior will have a favorable impact on the ultimate outcome.  In this case, the men either believe they have a chance of successfully getting their target to come home with them or at least getting a good laugh from their friends.  This is important because for several of these men, fear of rejection means that street harassment is somewhat safe because it can be played off as a joke should the target not respond favorably.  None of the men I interviewed seemed to consider how their behavior made their targets feel unless they got a favorable response.

This is critical- framing street harassment as derogatory, scary, and socially unacceptable is probably the strongest way to change the pervasiveness of the behavior because it would make the perpetrators think about their behavior in a way that may not have before.  For victims, it feels like a loss of power, and perhaps that’s why some perpetrators engage in some types of street harassment, but for those that have never thought about that impact of their actions, reframing the conversation may have a significant impact on how willing people are to accept the behavior.  The bottom line is that it needs to stop being acceptable fodder for jokes.

The men I talked to also suggested that street harassment is something men grow out of when they get into more serious and committed relationships.  There might be something to that, but all three men are in committed relationships, and while they no longer admit to engaging in catcalling, they have been witnessed doing it in the past few months.  Their refusal to admit to catcalling women since entering committed relationships is telling.  It’s demonstrative of a feeling that street harassment is not acceptable behavior, and that to me suggests social change is possible because the type of change we need is already taking root.

Kirstin is a Master’s Student in Nonproliferation and Terrorism Studies at the Monterey Institute of International Studies and a news editor at the Women’s International Perspective (The WIP). You can follower her on Twitter at @KirstinKelley1, where she regularly posts about human rights issues around the world.

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My Name is Not “Sweetie”!

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This is what happens street harassment becomes racism and victim shaming in one…

I was street harassed today in Portland, Oregon. I was just minding my own business just waiting for the bus at College Square in Gresham. The bus was a few blocks away and I hear, “Hey sweetie! Hey sweetie! Hey sweetie!” after a few moments, I turned around and told the African-American male in the red car who was cat calling me that my name was not “sweetie”.

Instead of stopping after I told him to just leave me alone, he decided to call me a fat white trash whore because I refused to talk to him. He started pulling his ID out and kept kept calling me a white trash whore and bragged about working at OHSU. He proceeded to call me ignorant, uneducated, as I kept telling him to stop bothering me and that he was wrong in calling me ‘sweetie’. I was not his wife or his girlfriend and he had no right, to calling me a term of endearment that ONLY my husband should be allowed to call me.

He became abusive all because I refused to acknowledge his presence and called him out. He kept saying “My president is black! My president is black you racist white trash whore! You should be sucking my dick!”

Where does he get off saying that? He doesn’t know me and my husband is Latino. Maybe he thought I was a racist all because all I wanted to do was to get from point A to point B and I just wanted to be left alone.

The bus arrived a few moments later, and he pulled out of the parking lot flipping me off, I told the driver the situation and cops were called especially when I told them it looked he was going to pull a weapon out on me when he pulled out his OHSU ID. An older woman on the bus started complaining about being held up and started victim blaming me, and asking why I was not smart enough to go into a store. I’ve done that before and had the harasser follow me. The bus was the safest option for me, but yet I kept being insulted by this ignorant older woman all because I made her late.

The older woman called me a ‘stupid white bitch’ until the police officer arrived. One thing I learned today, even if the guy was white and still did the same thing, it still would not have been okay. If I were an African-American woman and the same exact thing still happened, and I still stood up for myself, I would still be called racial slurs. Why? Because no matter what color my skin is, it would still not be okay to call me “sweetie” when you are not my husband. And this type of behavior from ANY man, no matter what his race, or background is NOT okay!

– DW

Location: Portland, Oregon

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