Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
A man approached me closely and try to look under my skirt.
– Anonymous
Location: Wembley Park, London, UK
“The Rejection Line, and others like it, play kiss-off messages when would-be suitors call. The person (or people) behind a new fake number had a different idea: every text or call is responded to with a quote from feminist activist bell hooks, such as “Whenever domination is present, love is lacking.” hooks is a respected professor, writer, and critic whose best-known book is “Feminism Is for Everybody.” She often talks about the intersection of race, gender, and class issues.
The number, (669) 221-2651, was created by an unknown feminist activist and started gaining attention on Thursday. So far, the creator is remaining anonymous, but she has posted a message on Tumblr. “Next time someone demands your digits and you want to get out of the situation, you can give them this number,” she wrote. “Protect your privacy while dropping some feminist knowledge when your unwanted “suitor” calls or texts.”…
While it may seem mean to give a guy your number only to have it turn out to be a feminist prank, many women have spoken out about the importance of having a fake number. “Oftentimes men become more aggressive when women say they’re not interested,” Jessica Gonzalez-Rojas, executive director of the NLIRH, tells Yahoo Shine. “[Giving out a fake number] is a safety mechanism to avoid any aggressive behavior.”
Sadly, there are many examples of women fearing for their lives simply because they said “no” when a guy asked them out. In April, a Connecticut teen was murdered by a male classmate when she turned down his request to go to the prom with him because she already had a date. Last month, a California man named Elliot Rodger shot and killed six people and injured many others because he was angry about girls not wanting to date or have sex with him.
Holly Kearl, founder of the organization Stop Street Harassment, agrees that many women feel scared to say no to a man. “During one of the 10 focus groups Stop Street Harassment held as part of our new national study on street harassment, a woman in Brooklyn said, ‘I’ve seen a guy knock a girl’s head into a brick wall that she was leaning on behind them because she did not want to talk to him. She was gushing blood. It’s unacceptable.'” Kearl reports. “Sometimes the safest way for a woman to get out of a situation is, sadly, to humor the harasser and if he wants a phone number, to give him a phone number.”
Would you use this fake phone number? Do you think it will help? I love bell hooks but I think perhaps a more direct message to the harasser would sink in beter?
Brittany Oliver, Baltimore, MD, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
In case you missed it, Carmen Omonte, Peru’s Minster of Women and Vulnerable Populations, announced her intention to include sexual street harassment in the penal code as a crime.
It’s been reported that sexual harassment and assault on the streets of Peru has recently sparked outrage after actress Magaly Solier was assaulted by a man who masturbated behind her at a bus station. In Peru, sexual street harassment is categorized as a civil offense, not a criminal offense.
While I am all for the idea if making sexual street harassment a crime, how many women need to be harassed before people realize it’s a serious issue? Women and girls experience street harassment every day, so why did it take an actress to be harassed for it to be considered a crime? I truly believe if we just dealt with sexual street harassment in the appropriate manner, we wouldn’t need to wait for someone famous to do something about it.
In Baltimore, I really think we could do a lot better. There’s a lot more we can be doing to protect women and girls from street harassment, and as a whole, we just aren’t doing enough. The only organization I know that’s actively doing work on a consistent basis is Hollaback! Baltimore. They have been doing a great job on educating people on what street harassment is and how people can help to stop it.
Here are a few upcoming summer events on their radar:
June 19 – Hollaback! Baltimore will host a Baltimore Bartenders Safer Spaces Meeting, in which they’ll be chatting with bartenders & bar staff from all over the city face-to-face on crisis response skills and ways to intervene while maintaining a women & LGBTQ-friendly environment.
June 24 – Hollaback! Baltimore will be tabling at the 2014 Baltimore Youth Sexual Health Conference, which is geared towards increasing knowledge & skills among youth to promote health behaviors, especially around sexual health.
June 28 – Hollaback! Baltimore will be co-hosting two “Make Your Own Quilt Square” workshops at the Monument Quilt with FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture. They’ll be working on quilt squares to add to the public monument to support victims of rape and abuse.
While I appreciate everything Hollaback! Baltimore is doing, I still think there are other organizations that can do just as much advocacy around this issue. Just as Carmen Omonte took a stand to stop street harassment in Peru, I feel that our mayor, Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, should take a stand too. Not only should she develop a campaign to educated people on street harassment, but she should also work on making it a criminal offense.
I certainly applaud Peru for it’s efforts, but I really hope Baltimore is not waiting for a celebrity to experience street harassment to push forward in stopping it. Street harassment needs to stop now because it’s affecting people who have to deal with it daily.
Instead of clearing out the encampments of the homeless and criminalizing youth, our mayor and every other politician in the state of Maryland need to focus their energy on real challenges. And street harassment for women, girls and the LGBTQ community is most definitely one of them.
Read more on Peru’s initiatives to ending street harassment.
Brittany Oliver is a recent graduate of Towson University and works in the non-profit communications sector and supports local anti-street harassment advocacy through Hollaback! Baltimore. She blogs at brittuniverse.wordpress.com and publicly rants on Twitter, @btiara3.
The bus was late, as usual, so I was waiting at the street corner when a pick-up truck pulled up and I heard at least one of the three men inside whistle at me. I looked at them, and the whistling turned to kissing sounds. I turned my attention to my phone, but turned the volume down in my headphones so I could keep tabs on them. For a fleeting moment, I considered the fact that there wouldn’t be much stopping them from grabbing me, if they wanted to. I realized that would be highly unlikely, but the thought occurred to me all the same.
They were stuck at a red light, and I was waiting for my bus, so there was nowhere for me to go without risking missing my ride. I just stood there trying to ignore them. Finally, the light turned green and they drove off.
They’ve probably forgotten all about it already, but I haven’t. I feel angry and annoyed. They were so nonchalant about it, but I will spend the rest of my day thinking about what thoughts might have been running through their heads, how many other women they’ll objectify, and whether or not I’ll experience street harassment again today.
Oh, and not that it matters, but I was wearing jeans, a loose-fitting orange t-shirt with a high neck-line, and a grey hoodie. I daydreamed about slapping his puckered lips straight off his face, like a twisted Donald Duck cartoon.
Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?
People need to learn that it’s not okay. That seems to be the biggest issue. Men feel entitled to say something or whistle, and they expect us to allow it or even be appreciative. It’s not a compliment. It’s harassment and it’s got to stop. We need to teach our sons better.
– Anonymous
Location: Sherman Ave. & Columbia Rd., NW, Washington, D.C.
I am young East Asian girl and I experience stares from usually (over 40yrs old, White men) that makes me feel patronized, humiliated and angry. There is a growing trend for objectifying East Asian women in Western countries and many men seem to view Asian girls as some sort of pleasure giving objects. That is exactly the kind of gaze that I get from some men in the streets.
I am not wearing any revealing clothes and don’t have much make-up except eyeliner and it makes me angry to get these stares. It is hard for me to tell others as I am afraid to sound paranoid. Nowadays, if I sense any men trying to approach me in the streets, I would simply walk away, however just few days ago, there was this really old man who just keep standing next to me whilst I was waiting for a bus. I moved away but he would again come to the point where I was standing and just stare at me. I felt uncomfortable so I had to walk to next bus stop. I have been living in London for over 10 years and felt normally safe but these experiences are becoming nuisances to me and I feel not so safe anymore.
– Anonymous
Location: London, UK