It’s been over a year and I’ve done nothing. I’ve walked side by side with my best friend and heard the cat calls. I’ve seen the unwarranted leering and threatening gestures. I’ve seen her have to cross the street in order to avoid a group of men leering. As she grips her arms tightly around her chest from the fear and anger of having to experience this over and over through out her day. I’ve heard her stories of walking alone in a crowd and being confronted by men of all ages, even boys. They tell her, “Smile sexy,” she tells them, “Back off” and they yell out, “What bitch?! I’ll rape you! You need a real man to put you in place.” It’s been over a year and I haven’t done one damn thing to make her world safer.
This is not abhorrent behavior by some creepy man who wanders the streets preying on women. This is normal behavior that every man of any age performs. The dad shopping with his wife and daughter, the young college man, the delivery man, the grandfather walking his grandchildren, your brother and father, your son, nephew and friend. You and me. “Why aren’t you losing your shit over this?!” Throughout the last year this phrase was repeated louder each time I heard it. My best friend felt let down, over and over. I walked right along with her, quiet and passive. As if I had no control over her experience. Like no matter what I did to make her world safer, every woman’s world safer, nothing would come of it.
My best friend, is paralyzed in her apartment from fear of walking in the streets. No matter what she wears, a long coat and scarf covering 95 percent of her body or a tank top and shorts, the abuse is the same. The harassment comes from men and boys from all walks of life. Men who are empowered by society to instill fear on any woman they choose, however subtle or blatant. According to Stop Street Harassment, an organization committed to ending gender-based street harassment worldwide, more than 80 percent of women experience gender-based street harassment: unwanted sexual comments, demands for a smile, leering, whistling, following, and groping. And there’s no age requirement. No matter if she is 9 years of age or 76, there is a man to put her in her place.
Why aren’t we losing our shit over this? It’s simple, misogyny runs deeps in our minds, our behaviors, our existence. You may be saying to your self, “No, not me! I’m not like those creeps.” Well, if you don’t act to tear down the wall of fear, violence and dehumanization, you’re a part of the problem.
What can we do? Reach out to women in your life and hear their stories, talk to other men and boys about street harassment, and intervene in any way you can. Raise hell every where you have a voice; Facebook, Tumblr, blogs, your family, community, and with friends.
Take a stand. Being ignorant of your own power as a man to stop street harassment and violence against women, means that every moment a women walks out in the streets, she walks in fear.
– Josue Rivera Razo
