Archives for July 2014

I was walking to meet my husband at his work for his lunch break. I crossed a busy street to get to his work and noticed a car full of shirtless guys. I was passing their car when the driver started honking at me and yelling “Hey baby” at me. I ignored him for a while but when he did not stop I flashed my left hand (with my wedding ring on it) at him.

I could hear from the open windows the chorus of “OHHHHHH” from his friends as they saw I was taken. After that they left me alone and drove off.

I was very insulted that these young men would have the audacity to continue honk at me and try to grab my attention even when I wasn’t interested. I was later ashamed and disappointed that I had to use my status relative to another man to stop the harassment.

I’m not merely an object. Just because I am with another man shouldn’t change the level of respect I’m given. Even married I belong to no one but myself.

– Anonymous

Location: Provo, Utah

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

Sarah Chang, Guest Contributor

I returned home from work on a late afternoon, parked my car on the street, and as I was getting out of my car, a man walking by and said, “Will you suck my dick? as he passed. The words didn’t even register until a few seconds later. He kept walking, and after I realized what he said, I looked in his direction to see who he was. I suddenly realized this man had actually made “suck my dick” comments to me previously, both times on the street by my residence. I felt angry that I was unsafe in my own neighborhood, and paranoid that perhaps this man was targeting me and knew where I lived.

I emailed the residents in my building to inform my neighbors about this person. With my description of the man and incident, another woman in my building said he had also said inappropriate things to her and her sister, and that they had filed a police report. This made me feel better, knowing he wasn’t targeting just me, but obviously it was equally unfortunate that this man felt entitled to indiscriminately harass women all the time. I followed suit and went to the police station to file a report.

At the station, the police took my report but said they could do nothing because I didn’t know the man’s name and could only provide a general physical description. I asked them what I should do the next time it happened. The officer said to call 911, and if possible, follow the man from a safe distance and wait for the police to arrive.

A few months later, I was walking by this same police station and the man that harassed me actually walked out of the police station. I waited for him to leave before walking into the station, letting the officer there know that he was the man I filed the police report on. The officer said that he knew who the man was, said that he was harmless, and said that he’d talk to his parole officer. The officer didn’t seem to take me very seriously.

I then contacted my neighbor to tell her that I had identified the man and asked if she would come down to the police station with me to corroborate and press the issue. My neighbor didn’t want to do much more other than to leave it be and just avoid the man whenever she ran into him.

I am an Asian American woman, and I experience street harassment all the time. Sometimes it’s just the leering, or just the “hey baby”s or the explicit sexual requests like the example above. But more often than not, it turns race-related: “Love me longtime?”, “Sucky sucky, five dollar”, and the “ni-haos” in my face that sound like meowing. The race-related street harassment is a one-two punch because it thinly veils hatred behind sexual subjugation. It’s common and it happens frequently enough that I’m habitually on edge when I walk outside by myself.

My natural defense mechanism against street harassment and unwanted attention is to have a scowl on my face. This scowling defense mechanism affects my day-to-day public interactions. A recent example of this is that my husband, an Asian American man, will often recount all the people he encounters when he is out taking the dog for a walk. These encounters however, consist of friendly hellos to him (and the dog) and remarks about how cute our dog is. Hardly anyone ever greets or tells me how cute my dog is when I take her for a walk. I attribute this difference to my scowl and general “don’t bother me” attitude, which I’m not even aware of. Walking the dog while male and walking the dog while female shows how street harassment makes a deep impact on seemingly trivial activities.

Speak up about and against street harassment. It’s not ok and I’m still going to report it to the police. I’d really like to enjoy a walk my dog sans scowl, the way that it’s supposed to be.

Sarah Chang is a middle and high school math teacher in the Boston Public Schools.  She resides in Boston’s South End and is passionate about education and social justice.

I was walking home from University when I heard a man shout out “Hey, Shorty!”

I was furious. I turned to find a group of big men sitting on the front steps of their apartment building. I was tired of being harassed and so I decided to say something.

The first thing that I could think of came out of my mouth. With dominating body language and a firm voice I asked back, “Excuse you?”

They stayed silent and I continued walking home. I have walked past that building many times and never again was I called out to.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

If you are in a safe area it has always worked to question someone’s motives. Phrases such as “excuse you” have worked for me in the past.

– Anonymous

Location: Ogden, Utah

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

I remember earlier this year I had went to a local drug store to pick up Easter candy because I saw a sale in the paper. It was a very cold day and so I dressed appropriately (scarf around neck, downcoat, hoodie,etc). When I entered the small store a new guy was working there and was standing in the crossroads of the many aisles. He began staring at me while he talked on his phone and I got butterflies in my stomach, so I decided not to walk forward. I took another aisle which circled around him, I passed him and he started at me again in my direction.

This happened about three more times. I couldn’t find the candy section so I went to the cash register lady. She pointed in the correct direction and proceeded. When I finally got the the aisle, I saw that the new guy had moved to it. I ignores him as I browsed through the section. He said, “come here” in a whisper. He inched closer and put his phone down as his eyes centered on m e. He asked, “How are you?” I think I may have just nodded.

Then he whispered, “I’ve seen you outside with your face all covered up with your scarf and your headphones on before,” as he invaded my personal space and his face inched closer to mine. I turned around to the opposite section. He followed and said “You need some help ?” I told him no, quickly grabbed the items and went to checkout. His whole aura screamed creepy.

– B

Location: City Center, Philadelphia, PA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas