This story does not involve physical harassment, but I know that what happened on this particular occasion could have escalated very quickly if I had not been able to get away as swiftly.
Recently I was walking down the street in Lausanne, Switzerland, where I currently live, re-tying my hair into a ponytail, as I noticed three young men walking ahead of me. At first, I saw them glance back at me a few times but ignored it, thinking (and hoping) that maybe they were just looking in my direction. They were talking to a bus driver halted at a stop and just briefly glanced sideways at me, so I chose to ignore it. Then, as I kept walking (more slowly now), still tying my hair, they glanced back at me multiple times, each time turning back to each other and smirking, then continuing on their way. Because we had made our way onto the narrow sidewalk of a bridge by this point, and I was in a rush to get to where I was heading (and because I’m just sick and angry of feeling that *I* always have to compromise *myself* just to be safe on the streets), I kept walking behind them, although I felt very uncomfortable.
As we neared the end of the bridge and made our separate ways to the crosswalk at an intersection, with them still trailing just ahead of me, I began to feel more and more nervous. They eventually slowed down and continued to glance at me, more and more frequently. Then, as I tried to veer to the side, they stopped altogether right beside me and each began staring. I tried not to look at them as I attempted to pass (afraid of feeding into their feelings of male entitlement by “enticing” them perhaps), but one of the young men came right up to me, smiling, and said, “Bonjour”, nodding a little too intentionally. It was obvious what he wanted. I responded, “Bonjour”, and kept walking. I knew they were staring at me as I walked away and I was terrified they would all follow me. I was especially terrified because there were three of them. Luckily the streets were very busy and I quickly walked away from the area.
I am stared at and sexualized almost every day by men on the streets, and I am incredibly lucky to have avoided being physically harassed thus far. However, I have been touched inappropriately by men in other settings (such as by patients and coworkers at the hospital where I work) and I am so very tired of living in a patriarchal society where misogyny and rape culture is perceived as NORMAL or NON-EXISTANT. It is exhausting to fear for one’s safety and space simply when one walks out the door. The fact that so many people (usually men, usually people reinforcing this culture) actually don’t UNDERSTAND this and BLAME us, the people affected, is beyond exhausting and disgusting.
I’m happy to be able to share this story.
Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?
Human beings deserve respect. Men, especially, need to begin reassessing the way they view and understand women and their relationships with women. Within the gender binary, we (again, I’m referring directly to men) need to STOP sexualizing others and, especially, need to realize that NOBODY IS ENTITLED TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, whether sexually or not. We are not objects! We are people! All of us.
If this phenomenon were reversed, even for a day, and men experienced even a fraction of what women experience ALL THE TIME, PERHAPS they would finally BEGIN to get it. Although, really, we should never need to reverse situations of harassment, discrimination, harm or prejudice in order for the oppressors to understand the harm they are doing.
– Laura Karlberg
Location: Lausanne, Switzerland
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea
