Archives for August 2014

I am a British woman living in Germany. A football match between my local German team and a British club was about to kick off.  I was walking to my home along a street very crowded with football fans, when a British with a group of friends man stared at me, leaned in towards me and shouted, “I like your boobies!” I was absolutely dumbfounded.

I shouted back that I understood English and was ignored, but attracted stares from passersby.  I felt completely powerless, unable to say or do anything to redress the balance.  It somehow made it worse that he felt he could do that in a crowded public place, with a large group of friends behind him, whereas I am a young woman alone.

This has happened to me only rarely in the 5 years I have been living in Germany, and it makes me worry what kind of country I’m returning, too.  I was also angry with myself, that when I got home, I considered whether my top was “too” tight or low cut – it’s not about clothing, and I shouldn’t in anyway take responsibility for his actions.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

It would have meant something to me, if other people – his friends or passersby had called him out on it.  I also have no idea how one can report something as “trivial” as this.

– A.S.

Location: In front of my home, Germany

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

When I was in college in Boston it was a regular occurrence to be harassed on the street.  One night in particular a group of us had gone out and we were heading back to my roommate’s boy friend’s car – there were 5 of us, including two guys.  There were these three big guys hanging out out the street on the corner near where we were parked, and they immediately took interest in us.  We were friendly at first because we were with two guys – what were they going to do?  Well, they started saying things like, “Come on, give us a hug, we don’t bite!” My sister gives them a hug (still not sure why) and I make my way over to the car to get into the back seat and the biggest of the three guys follows me, reaches over and grabs my crotch as I’m trying to get into the car. I was completely disgusted – thank god I was wearing jeans that night.  When I told everyone in the car what happened, the two guys thought it was funny.  Sick.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think the states need to take a serious step toward prosecuting for street harassment!  Post signs on streets – like littering, if you cat call or harass another person, you’ll be fined $500.  If you grope or touch someone, you’ll be arrested for assault.  I don’t think men even realize it’s illegal to do this – but if there were warnings, it would curb some of the behavior.  For the rest that still do it – I think we need to (safely) get out the camera phones and start reporting these people!!

– Kate

Location: Boston, MA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

Today I was walking down the street and got a “Hey beautiful.” On other occasions I’ve had a guy try to lift up my skirt multiple times, others making kissy sounds and whispering absurd things at me, yelling across the street to get my attention, and whistling at me (just to name a few). It is really tiring and degrading to be constantly under this microscope and while living in NYC I even took the long way to work just to avoid walking a particular street with guys that would sit out in the mornings and catcall me. On a particularly frustrating day, I decided to pen this letter, and I thought it might be worth sharing:

Dear Men of the World,

When you catcall and whistle at me as I walk down the street minding my own business, I do not take it as a compliment. It makes me feel uncomfortable and angry to be so blatantly objectified and dehumanized. This is not a problem with the clothes I wear, or the way I do my make up; this is a problem of sexism and hypersexualization of women. Allow me to explain why.

When you look at me and whistle, catcall, make some comment on my appearance or say something dirty, you completely ignore my personhood. You look at my body, my figure, my face, and immediately judge me. You ignore the person that is inside and discredit their importance by only giving the exterior importance. By focusing solely on this exterior shell and drawing attention to the ways in which it pleases you, you sexualize what is for me a mundane walk down the street.

Similar to every single other human being, I am more than just my body. I have a personality, feelings, am an intelligent being, and so much more. When you draw attention to my body and make no effort to get to know those other, more important aspects of me, you take away their importance– and these aspects make me a person. So no, it is not a compliment and I do not find it flattering. If you wish to say something to me on the street, make it worthwhile because if you actually are interested in me, take the time to get to know me. If you are not, keep walking and please keep your words to yourself. I am more than just my legs, torso, rear-end, chest, etc. — mannequins and sex dolls have those parts as well, yet they are not humans. Some women may appreciate this attention, but I am not one of them and I am not alone.

This dehumanization of women based solely on their outward appearance is sexism. We’re people, not objects built solely to display clothes or sexually please men, so please do not treat us as such.

Sincerely,
A Woman

– S

Location: St. Louis, NYC, Baltimore, Newark, Granada (Spain), Lima (Peru), Santiago (Chile)

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think we should all speak about this. I feel like it is time that the victims tell anyone who will listen how it makes us feel.

I was visiting my sister and decided to go to the library on 7/22/14. When I got there I got multiple stares and instantly felt uncomfortable. This man sat down next to me and mumbled “hellooo.” I sat there for about 5 mins, but the whole time I could feel him staring at my legs. Now only being a sophmore in high school (well going to be), I politely got up and went outside. I was making a phone call when the same man came outside and made a fake call. He proceeded to sit next to me and smile. I immediately felt scared and decided to walk away. As I turned to go through an alley to the back of the library, I saw him peek down it.

Out of the many times I’ve been looked at, whistled, hollered at, and more… He was one of the most uncomfortable people I’ve encountered. I don’t see why its so hard for a high schooler to be herself, dress nice, and not get raunchy stares and even more…

This needs to stop.

– kiranna

Location: Lancaster, PA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas