Daniel Burdick, CA, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
I’m truly honored to be a correspondent for the Stop Street Harassment blog. As you have probably noted by my photo, I could actually be one of the perpetrators of sordid public-performance graffiti. The intention of Stop Street Harassment is to include men in this discussion; and this has to be duly appreciated; as it seems to happen far too often that men’s paltry contributions to various gender issues tend to be defensive, apologist, arrogant, offering irrelevant advice, neurotic, hostile, or otherwise opportunistic efforts at presenting themselves as feminists; when in fact, they are actually more analogous to wolves trying to conceal themselves in sheep-suits. I’m fastening the shoulder harness for this hot seat. It’s going to be a bumpy ride…
I hope you are truly interested in solving this issue and are reading this because you understand that street harassment is a serious problem for men as well as women… and not that, heaven forbid, men might get harassed as well; but that men harassing women is not only embarrassing for the men who aren’t into it, but represents a considerable loss for everyone in our society. I’m also really hopeful that males of all ages and stages are reading this, because this is the group for whom I’m pitching. You may have seen the title of the recent effort expressed by the executive branch of the U.S. government to end sexual assault on college campuses: “It’s On Us.” Yes, it truly is.
Avoid blaming – This is not really anyone’s “fault,” per se – for harassment is only one of the more visible tips of a larger iceberg representing a fatal flaw institutionalized into our society. Even though many of us may have unsubscribed to the western religions that brought us this and other sublime forms of enslavement and control of masses, this philosophical heritage of systematically demeaning females may prove a rather difficult cancer to eliminate. Therefore, I propose a top-down approach. I will elaborate more about the strategy later. For now, it remains up to us men to fix this problem, even if the “nice guys” are uncomfortable with accepting responsibility for actions of “those other jerks.” I urge you to visit the website HeForShe.org and accept the challenge of addressing the human rights issue of preventing violence and discrimination against women and girls worldwide.
An exceptionally thorny obstacle in the way of addressing this subject is while gender-based street harassment is mainly a little tour-de-force favoring continued entrenchment of male power, it also contains the component of human sexuality; a realm where every adult has a diverse opinion; usually based on their personal experiences, tendencies, preferences, hang-ups, and self-valuation. A funny thing I’ve noticed about this hot button (pardon the pun) issue is that our differences of opinion regarding sex tend to mimic our political polarizations… there exist sexual conservatives, sexual liberals, libertarians, radicals, and so on. There are sometimes alternative labels for these divisions; for example, self-described “sex-positive” women represent a libertarian faction of feminism.
Street harassment has no positive side. It cannot be considered a form of release for its perpetrators; in fact, it would appear to instead promote the opposite effect – exciting and inspiring the perpetrator or perpetrators to continue. By definition, it can never be accepted as complimentary by the recipients. Why? In cases when the recipient truly doesn’t mind being shouted at, then the incident is simply no longer considered as “harassment.”
This question of acceptability is where the dark gray area of public relations is haunted by the specter of ambiguity. Admittedly, there are circumstances under which it is entirely possible to communicate unsolicited via a shout to another stranger in a manner that is not a problem. On the other hand, it is also possible that an identical exchange, yet under slightly different and unforeseen circumstances, can be rightfully perceived by the recipient as annoying, undesired, and thus as harassment. It’s not always possible to recognize all the contributing circumstances in advance. Therefore, it is a more prudent course of action to avoid initiating an unsolicited exchange; unless it is quite obvious the potential recipient or recipients are open to public communication and will be agreeable with its message.
Even though the true intent of the message may be purely harmless or even complementary by the perpetrator; intent cannot be considered a factor in determining whether an exchange is harassment or not. It is often said that “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It’s the recipient’s call.
This outlines the basic theories I must try to communicate to my fellow men to actualize. Now my bro’s tend to be a bunch that do not ask for, nor read, directions; they are also being bombarded with fantasy-sex advertising, when too often they feel like they get the short end of the stick with their real relationships. I don’t expect this quest to be easy… so please keep your seat belts fastened, and your emotional shields up.
Daniel is a longtime activist for peace, the environment, and social equality. He currently works as a design engineer and is an avid bicyclist.
