Archives for January 2015

“I had a fear this man would kidnap me”

January 31, 2015 By Contributor

I was 17 and working at a Winn Dixie as a cashier. One day an old man came up to me and started telling me how beautiful I was and kept asking me when I got off work and when I was working next. I was insanely creeped out by this man, but our managers were assholes and told us no matter what we had to always smile and be friendly. So, even though this man was being totally out of line, I had to smile and act like everything was ok, lest I get fired. I never gave him my schedule because that was a huge red flag. I was absolutely repulsed.

At around the same time I was also being stalked by an older creepy man who sounded like Norm from SNL. He would always drive around the parking lot and if he saw my car he would come inside, buy some meaningless junk, and insist on coming through my line. I had even caught him staring at my ass when I was working on the soda fridge at the end of my register. It was so incomfortable. I even had to have coworkers walk me out to my car because I had a fear this man would kidnap me.

– Anonymous

Location: Chelsea, Alabama

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“I hope it doesn’t scar me forever”

January 31, 2015 By Contributor

The first time I was harassed was today. I just froze up. A group of boys who were younger than me were walking behind me and my friend. We were just walking to the subway, and they made loud comments about my body. I was disgusted, embarassed,and scared. I could not believe an (about) 11 year old could do that. I tried to walk away but snow was on the ground. It has pretty much ruined my day. I just froze up. This has left me wishing I did more than freeze up. Apparently they thought it was funny. It’s not. I hope it doesn’t scar me forever.

– Anonymous

Location: On my way home

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

“That’s really inappropriate, sir”

January 31, 2015 By Contributor

I brought my dog to work. Naturally, I have to take him out to pee. I have this tiny little park like 2 blocks from the office to which I take him. I work in downtown San Diego, so there are all sorts of people in the area.

As I’m walking back from taking the dog out to pee in the morning and am on the corner to cross the street to go back to my office, this guy walks up to me from behind me on my right and said, “You have no idea how badly I want to play with your boobs.”

I took probably a second to register that YES, HE JUST SAID THAT and then said, “That’s really inappropriate, sir,” in a pretty pissed off, stern voice.

He said, “My bad. My bad. I apologize,” as he sort of walked past me and then off to my left.

I looked him in the eye and said, “Thanks.”

However, he then decided it would be a good idea to tell me, “You should take it as a compliment.”

At that point, the walk sign came on and he was staying on that side of the street. As I was crossing the street, I turned over my left shoulder and yelled back, “That’s NOT a compliment!”

He then decided to give me some bogus explanations about why it was a compliment like “you’re beautiful.”

Although I was shocked and absolutely expecting him to end the sentence with “your dog” and not “your boobs,” I can say that I was prepared because of the prevalence of the street harassment awareness campaigns in the last year or so. I didn’t really feel threatened largely because I was in a public area and there were other people waiting to cross the street. I also don’t really envision exactly what is being said to me, so it has much less of the grossness factor. Instead, I just view it as inappropriate, However, had he said that in a less populated area, I’m sure I would’ve responded the same but felt a lot more threatened.

I can’t even tell my significant other about what happened because I know he’d be very concerned and wouldn’t feel comfortable with me walking around downtown any more than I had to.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

From what I can tell from talking to men about this, most men actually think thoughts about women’s bodies, regardless of whether or not they think street harassment is terrible. If they think it’s bad, they’re not going to say anything. The thoughts are still there, which I blame on the hyper-sexualization of our culture. Anyway, some men are too scared to say anything, but they still think sexual thoughts about women that they see. My only thought on how to stop it is to let the harasser know what he is doing is wrong and unwelcome and that it’s not a compliment in order to help convert him to viewing it as a bad thing.

It would be great if men would also call out other men but they have to view it as a problem first. I think most men think that it is, in fact, a compliment. That mentality needs to change in order to get men to stand up for women they see being harassed. A lot of men would step in if they saw a woman being physically assaulted and they need to view street harassment similarly.

– AM

Location: Downtown San Diego, CA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

USA: What To Do When What We’re Doing Isn’t Working

January 31, 2015 By Correspondent

Emily Gillingham, Washington, DC, USA, Blog Correspondent

If you’re reading this, we’re probably on the same page that street harassment is awful. You’ve probably read about the toll that street harassment has on victims. If you study street harassment in the United States, you understand that there are a slew of laws covering every inch of the country designed to protect people from things like threatening language, upskirt photos, unwanted touching, being followed, obscene language, indecent exposure, and more. Penalties for violating those laws can include large fines or jail or prison time. But you also know that street harassment persists. It is pervasive. It directs where we go, what we do, the company we keep, and the clothes we wear.

As a law student hoping to spend my career advocating for women, I think often about what public policy changes could address street harassment. Clearly, there are laws meant to protect victims of street harassment on the books. But I can say that I have no confidence that those laws would protect me from the run-of-the-mill sexual and harassing remarks hurled at me as I commute to and from work, even if a man hissed “hey baby” at me in earshot of a police officer. If I were to videotape an incident of street harassment I’d put my physical safety, personal property, and others around me at risk, with little expectation that the police would take my report seriously or bring the harasser to justice. If I were groped on the Metro, I would not expect bystanders to assist me and logistically could not fathom how I would ensure the perpetrator’s arrest and prosecution short of taping the incident and then cold-cocking him. Make no mistake: this is why these things continue to happen.

I don’t think that stopping street harassment can be solved by legislating against harassing behaviors. But I do think that progress lies in stressing the importance and attainability of street harassment reform to policymakers. If politicians, public health advocates, and nonprofits were to zealously pursue the following package of reforms, real progress will be made in eradicating street harassment.

Legislative, Legal, and Judicial Reforms

Laws should be comprehensive designed to keep up with new technology. Legislatures should pass well-drafted laws barring upskirt photos and other harassment with technology. State and federal evidentiary rules should be updated to ensure that electronic evidence of stalking and recordings made with digital recorders and cell phones are admissible into evidence when vetted properly. State bar associations should continue to expand training offered to attorneys and judges about how to obtain and preserve electronic evidence of stalking and street harassment in an admissible format.

Education

Education about street harassment is crucial; it can prevent people from becoming street harassers, better equip stakeholders to respond effectively to street harassment incidents, and change cultural attitudes that treat street harassment as a minor problem or no problem at all. School curricula should include age-appropriate education about respect for others, scientifically-rooted information about how being harassed is harmful to mental health, and safe means of responding to street harassment incidents they witness. School honor codes should explicitly state the school’s opposition to street harassment and describe penalties for students who engage in street harassment. College and university honor codes should reflect the same, and new student orientation should emphasize why street harassment is unacceptable and that harassment on-campus will not be tolerated.

Police officers and transit employees should be trained about street harassment laws and encouraged to take incidents reported to them seriously. Efforts should be made to teach the public how to report officials who fail to respond effectively to reports of street harassment.

Most importantly, nationwide movements encouraging bystander awareness in other areas should be built upon in the street harassment context. PSAs and other means of educating the public should be engaged to encourage bystanders to intervene when they witness street harassment incidents. They should stress why bystander intervention is important and describe effective strategies that bystanders can employ.

Funding

This is the most critical piece. Funding is why many reports of street harassment cannot be properly addressed and why public education about street harassment is so lacking. Funds should be allocated to build cybercrime units to take seriously the taking and distribution of upskirt photos- both to remove the content and to identify perpetrators and hold them accountable. Lawmakers need to earmark funds for street harassment prevention and prosecution, and tie funding for public safety, public health, and public transit to meeting benchmarks for street harassment training, education, and enforcement efforts. These proposals aren’t costly, but they won’t work without clearly defined benchmarks and penalties for failure to meet them.

Street harassment is a cultural problem and public health issue worthy of being prioritized in our public policy in these ways. Let’s hope that our policymakers start to see it this way too, to make our streets and public transportation safe and welcoming for everyone.

Emily is a 3L at Michigan State University College of Law, and the president of her school’s chapter of LSRJ. Follow her on Twitter @emgillingham.

“Carry bear mace EVERYWHERE you go”

January 30, 2015 By Contributor

Biking to work and as usual some guy starts catcalling me. He was biking as well. Considering my cardio is awesome I flip him the bird and tell him cat callings rude! At the next set of lights he’s cut off from following me because of a red light cut just in case I had my bear spray in my hand. Frustrating because this probably didn’t phase this unintelligent piece of shit in the least.

A neighbour catcalled me as well.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Learn a martial art. Brazilian jiu jitsu is incredible for women. It’s about technique not size. As well carry bear mace EVERYWHERE you go. A few times I’ve taken it out and they understood my none verbal message very well 😉

– Anonymous

Location: A well used road

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ide