Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for January 2015

“I felt rattled but determined to not respond in any way”

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My most memorable street harassment experience was walking my two dogs about 3 blocks so they could pee. Two houses down a man started yelling things like, “Hey baby girl” and a few others joined in. I felt rattled but determined to not respond in any way.

On my way back he started yelling at me again and I felt so angry and fed up with him that I turned around and yelled “has that EVER worked for you? F***ing loser,” and then I felt panicked.

Then I passed my neighbor, who had sexually assaulted me two weeks prior, and he was calling out to me.

Another man told me to go on and respond and say hi to the nice old man. I didn’t call authorities because I live in a mostly black neighborhood including that neighbor, and I’m white so I was scared of how police would react and how the media might play it (if they got involved). But I also hated having to live my life like he’s any other decent person that I should get along with. So with the angry outburst I had already let out I yelled that I do not associate with rapists and neither should he and that my neighbor is lucky I didn’t call the cops on him, and he’s certainly not entitled to my time.

I finished the walk home by running and I locked the door and set the alarm panicked that he’d try to “talk about it” and harass me some more. He didn’t but I had a nervous breakdown and I was crying off and on for the rest of the night. I was shaking and felt very unsafe.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Denormalize public flirtation, pick ups, etc that people say is what (street) harassment is.

– Lexi

Location: Oklahoma City

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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“I often get called a whore or slut when I’m walking with my son”

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Last summer, I was walking down to the dollar store with my 2 year old son to enjoy the sun and get him a toy. Our apartment is only a couple blocks away but on our walk, I got catcalled at least four times with one guy rolling his window down a couple inches and screaming “WHORE” at me. Unfortunately, I often get called a whore or slut when I’m walking with my son.

One man made some rude comment while I was walking with my son and the idiot parked his truck pretty close to where we were going. When he saw me walking up to confront him, he hopped back in his truck and sped off faster than if I had been a cop!

Oh, and I wasn’t wearing skimpy clothes either. I was wearing a baggy long sleeved top and thick leggings when the first event occurred.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate men and boys by making our stories known. If we can even reach 25% it will be a marvelous success.

– Victoria Barnett

Location: Snohomish County, Washington

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Romania: Organizing a Street Harassment March

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Simona-Maria Chirciu, Bucharest, Romania, SSH Blog Correspondent

Credit Simona Chirciu

Bucharest, the Capital of Romania feels like the capital city of street harassment too! Everyday women are harassed by strangers on the streets, on the busses and underground, in parks. No public space is safe for girls and women! This problem is completely invisible, ignored and trivialized in our society but street harassment constrains women’s choices to go where they please without fearing unwanted sexual attention or sexual assault.

I really love activism and I wanted to organize a march or a protest against street harassment in Bucharest. Volunteers of FILIA, an amazing feminist NGO, wanted to help, too. First we had to go through a legal procedure and gain authorization at the Bucharest City Hall.  The procedure is not very complicated, but unpleasant because it takes time. One of FILIA’s volunteer and I went to get this approval. We were so nervous and anxious..

There was a large room, all men (important men – the Head of the Police, Head of Romanian Intelligence Service, Head of Gendarmerie (Jandarmerie) – a military branch of police forces) and other important men. They seemed nice at the beginning, but then they started with “harassment jokes” and stereotypes about sexual violence against women. They all assumed that women like to be harassed because they dress provocatively and act in a promiscuous manner, even because they simply go outside! The cherry on top was when one of them made an “innocent” joke about inviting us for a juice. My volunteer, who is a feminist too, and I glanced at each other with sheer horror and disgust. After a couple of days we received our march authorization for the Center of Bucharest. We were so happy!

Next, some of my volunteers and I worked on banners and slogans for the march and we did a good job. We used slogans like “STOP street harassment!” “Harassment is violence!” “My body is not a public space,” “We don’t need your validation,” “I don’t feel flattered to be harassed!” “I don’t walk on the street for your amusement” and “It is NEVER ok to harass people! So stop doing it” We really wanted to make our voice clear and loud!

The solidarity march against street harassment took place on 19th October 2014, across two hours and gathered approximately 100 people: women and men including persons of many sexual orientation, and 1-2 pets J.

I organized the march through FILIA with their wonderful volunteers and we were supported by feminist and women’s rights NGOs like the Association for Liberty and Gender Equality (Asociatia pentru Libertate si Egalitate de Gen), FRONT Association, AnA Society for Feminist Analyses (Societatea de Analize Feministe AnA, Centre Partnership for Equality (Centrul Parteneriat pentru Egalitate),  E-Romnja Association.

The march was peaceful, quite nice and without incidents. People on the streets interacted with us, greeted us, and asked questions about our march: “Hey, do you think a march will solve the problem? Boys need to be educated or legally punished for doing this.” Yes! Maybe a march doesn’t solve the street harassment issue, but it can raise awareness and is empowering for the march participants.

Unfortunately, after the march, on her way home, in the Center of Bucharest, one of the participants was sexually harassed on the street by a stranger. He addressed her with obscene words, violently pulled her hair and punched her in the face when she wanted to get a picture of him with the mobile phone. None of the bystanders did anything! After the incident, she went to the Police station to make a complaint.

There, a Police officer – a woman – said to her that she wasn’t even dressed in a provocative way. Wow! Such a horrible way to interact with a woman who was just harassed and hit in the face by a violent man and comes to you for seeking justice! Sadly, this is an example of how stereotypes about sexual violence and victim-blaming attitudes are very internalized and hard to eradicate.

Shortly after the incident, the women’s rights NGOs who are part of the informal network “Breaking the Silence about Sexual Violence” (FILIA, ALEG, FRONT, AnA, E-Romnja, CPE, Transcena Association, Sensiblu Foundation, East European Institute for Reproductive Health) wrote an open letter to authorities and especially to the Bucharest Police, demanding a proper investigation of this case, to identify the aggressor and press charges on him. In the open letter, we also asked for a warning campaign for people living in Bucharest, to be alerted about this violent harasser and to get informed about street harassment against women as well.

This incident showed all of us that street harassment can escalates into violent aggression, so street harassment is a major and urgent problem all around the world! The streets are public spaces and we all need to feel free to use them, without fear, without compromises and without back-up plan in case we get sexually harassed!  October 19 was an ordinary day, a day when girls and women were harassed on streets but also a day when feminism and activism confronted street harassment! And that was just the beginning of it. We plan to hold another event during International Anti-Street Harassment Week in April.

Simona is the Vice President of a feminist NGO – FILIA Center and a PhD student in Political Sciences, working on a thesis on street harassment in Bucharest. You can follow her on Facebook.

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“I feared he would continue to prey on others”

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I was minding my own business walking down a semi-busy street when a middle aged, older man made eye contact with me from his car. Used to unintentional eye contact, I paid no mind and kept on walking; however a few minutes later, the same person stopped his car beside me and asked if I needed a ride. I politely refused and continued walking, but he was persistent.

For the next five minutes, he would drive alongside me and periodically stop and try to persuade me to go with him. He said that we were going the same direction, so he would not mind to give me a ride. Every time, I politely refused. In those five minutes, I tried to make eye contact with several passing drivers, but none actively responded. Therefore, I took an active role in protecting myself with an uncompromising attitude. Although he tried to reassure me that his intentions were pure, his actions were too suspicious; it made no sense why a middle aged man would persistently offer a teenage girl a ride. Finally, he gave up, drove straight for a few meters, and u-turned away. So much for same direction.

This encounter was unsettling, for another middle aged male had once followed me to my house before. What I feared the most was that some girls may be too scared to react and give into his persistence. This area was near a local high school, and this event happened approximately an hour before school would end. Thus, I feared he would continue to prey on others.

I fear for the safety of high school girls, younger girls, and any person walking on the streets of this seemingly safe suburb. No person should be subjected to this experience because gender and/ or sexuality should not play a role in a person’s safety on the streets.

– Anonymous

Location: Temple City

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Harassment for Holding Hands

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Check out the latest Huffington Post article by our board member Patrick McNeil. Here’s an excerpt:

“During a talk called “All The Little Things” posted on the TEDx Talks YouTube channel last week, Irish drag queen Panti Bliss – appearing before a crowd in Dublin last September – explained why an act like holding your partner’s hand isn’t so thoughtless for everyone.

“I am 45 years old and I have never once unselfconsciously held hands with a lover in public,” Bliss says. “I am 45 years old and I have never once casually, comfortably, carelessly held hands with a partner in public.”

Why? Because around the world still today, street harassment is a major problem for women, LGBT people, people of color, people with disabilities, and low-income people. Bliss’ focus is on homophobia, as was her similarly personal and impassioned speech about a year ago when she asked, “Have you ever been standing at a pedestrian crossing when a car drives by and in it are a bunch of lads, and they lean out the window and they shout “fag!” and throw a milk carton at you?”

“Now it doesn’t really hurt. It’s just a wet carton and anyway they’re right – I am a fag. But it feels oppressive.”

Bliss’ experiences aren’t unusual. Actually, they’re common. In the United States, LGBT people are more likely than straight people to report experiencing street harassment (both verbal and physical), according to a national study released last year by the nonprofit organization Stop Street Harassment. And the harassment starts young: 70 percent of LGBT people said they experienced it by age 17, compared to 49 percent of straight people (still a significant figure).”

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