Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for February 2015

“Hey, buddy, wanna share?”

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Back when I was around 16, an older boy I knew was walking me home from school. I wasn’t dressed flashy, or showy, but a passing 30-something year old man must have thought so, because he turned around and called, “Hey, buddy, wanna share?”

The boy he thought I was escorting was actually my elder brother. He wasn’t too happy about that.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Have more good brothers who aren’t afraid to punch someone for their sister, is one. But it’s really sad that it has to come to that.Harassment is something that just shouldn’t happen. It’s a shame that many men do it, and even more of a shame that we live in a society that teaches us to not stick up for ourselves.

– Madison Gard

Location: Richmond, Virginia, USA

 Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Runners Tweet Chat on Thursday

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Via the RunHers site: 

“Have you ever been cat called while out running or in other public places?  Let’s chat about it.  Join us on February 5th at 12pm EST with Runner’s World Chief Running Officer and the Mayor of Running Bart Yasso; Runner’s World’s Zelle; Stop Street Harrassment’s Holly Kearl; along with freelance journalist and author of the upcoming book Running: A Love Story Jen A. Miller, whose article “Wearing Her #Whorepants” took social media by storm.

Most of you are familiar with Twitter Chats. If not, the way, here’s how it works: we will tweet the questions, and you can give us your stories, perspectives, thoughts and ideas on how we can all work together to address these important issues of street harassment, cat calling and other harassment and violence in public places. The hashtag we will Tweet with is #RWsafety…

Here is a link to Jen’s story “Wearing Her #Whorepants.”  Jen A. Miller has been a freelance journalist for the last 10 years, sticking with the work from home lifestyle because she likes running before lunch and working with her Jack Russell Terrier by her side. She’s a frequent contributor to Runner’s World, Running Times, Zelle, The New York Times and Philadelphia Inquirer and her memoir, Running: A Love Story will be published by Seal Press in early 2016. “

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Nepal: Kathmandu Fights Back!

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This post is from our Safe Public Spaces Team in Kathmandu, Nepal. The SPSM projects are supported by SSH donors. If you would like to donate to support the 2015 mentees, we would greatly appreciate it!

Harassment in the streets of Kathmandu has been so normal that it is almost taken for granted. Street harassment like cat calling and explicit evaluative commenting can lead to bigger psychological repercussions in the future. The main aim of our Safe Public Spaces project, ‘Acts of Defiance’ is to help make Kathmandu a safe space for people of all ages to live in. Hence, Hollaback! Kathmandu acts as a catalyst to encourage the victim to fight back and raise their voice against street harassment. Our project entitled ‘Acts of Defiance’ was divided into two phases.

Our first phase of the project, Forum Theater was conducted in early January. The main objective of conducting the forum theater is to generate awareness in an interactive and participatory manner so that the students get a public platform to contribute their views and knowledge on street harassment and as well as inculcate the learning by doing methodology in them. The motive behind focusing on the youth is because this is the prime age to be aware about the dimensions of street harassment. The storyline of the forum theater revolved around the scenario of high school girls and how they are subjected to street harassment on a regular basis. Through the forum theater, we aimed to portray the life of a teenage girl on the street and on the public vehicle and showed the various kinds of harassment they faced every day.

We also wanted to exhibit their reactions to the harassment and the kind of reactions that bystanders showed when they saw someone being harassed. The drama was divided into two scenes and after each scene, the students were encouraged to come up with a better response –(both by the victim and a bystander) to the harassment scenario with the help of some brainstorming.

The session was fun and informative for the students which opened them up to the live action of the happenings in the community. It worked as a driving agent which led students to talk about their past experiences and encounters. Moreover, the audiences were informed about the existing law of our country related to the harassment and it also encourage them to fight back and to stimulate critical discussions around the issue of street harassment.

There were other actions we took, too.

On December 5, 2014, Hollaback! Kathmandu conducted a Self Defense session for about 50 female refugees for UNHCR Nepal. The session was provided to the refugees from diverse nations such as Afghanistan, Pakistan, Somalia, Nigeria and Vietnam. The primary goal of our self defense session was to provide the participants with basic tips on how to defend themselves should they ever come across harassment in public spaces. We aim to equip the most vulnerable groups with the necessary tips so that they can defend themselves. Ayesha, a twenty- three year old refugee from Pakistan said, “It was a very new experience for us. Earlier, we did not know that we could use our body as weapons. But after the session, we learned to use our body as a weapon to protect ourselves.”

We  were featured in a local television media program on Social Advocacy to discuss on the issue of street harassment. The 30 minute interview session included different discussions on the situation of street harassment in Nepal and also threw light on the fact that street harassment is a global problem and that strict actions needed to be taken to mitigate it.

As part of the 16 Day Activism Campaign to End Violence Against Women, Hollaback! Kathmandu also organized a visit to the local women police station. The Police Center also has separate female constables to deal with the female victims of violence. Inspector Khadka said, “We try to solve the situation in a non-violent manner. If there is violence in a marriage, we give the husband a warning and try to settle the issue in a cohesive manner. We also provide counseling classes for men to sensitize them about gender. One of our volunteers, Aakriti shares her experience as, “Some of the new things that really amazed me was the fact that the police officials are not so cold-natured as we’ve heard about through other people. They were in fact very supportive when it came to issues regarding Women and Children.

Through December, we celebrated the Violence Against Women (VAW) Activism Campaign and conducted activities to aware the youths about the issue of street harassment. The session was led by our volunteers where a video related to women, violence was shown and the students were encouraged to have a discussion after watching the documentary.. In the VAW Session, our volunteers went across 9 schools and impacted 513 youths in total. Along with the informative session at schools and colleges, we also organized a #orangeurhood campaign where our volunteers made posters and youths from different backgrounds came together to support the campaign.
This had been an ecstatic ride for Hollaback! Kathmandu and we still seek for many ways to make the public spaces safer.

Nistha Thapa Shrestha of Hollaback!Kathmandu 
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“Each and every time I feel like a sex object”

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I live in France and Italy. Street harassment is rampant here, on a kind of mundane, day-to-day, non-violent basis.

In Italy I can’t walk down the street without disgusting, lewd stares from men of all ages, nationalities, and backgrounds, plus the occasional whistle or gross comment. I generally feel like a walking vagina. It’s very disturbing and oppressive, not to be able to go about my daily business without getting this kind of attention.

If you’re walking around after sunset, men in cars sometimes slow down to ask if you want a “ride”, insinuating that they hope you’re a prostitute (their attitude: even if you’re not, hey it’s worth a try!). This happened to me a few times in a wealthy neighbourhood close to where I live. It was around 8 or 9pm, I was wearing jogging pants, and was on my way home from a day in the park. It totally grossed me out. It left me feeling disgusting, violated, and disrespected, even though they hadn’t done anything physical or violent.

In France, men grope and stare at girls on public transport. I’ve heard that they actually whistle, grunt, or make comments like “Hey slut, why don’t you smile for me?”. That hasn’t happened to me. But every single day I get on the metro, some man will sit beside me or across from me and make some kind of sickening smile or just stare at me in a really concentrated way, as if he’s in the middle of some disgusting sexual fantasy.

I know it sounds like I’m paranoid — and how could I possible know what is going on in the mind of another person?? But it’s happened so often, roughly 3 or 4 times a day, every day, for 3 years now, that I can actually FEEL it, and it grosses me out. It’s not every single man on the train, obviously. But there’s always at least one.

The men here also rub against you when the metro is really full, and sometimes they even touch your ass when they think no one will notice. Often, when it’s really crowded, a man will stand right beside me with his crotch in my face (if I’m sitting down) and get as close as he can. He’ll even move his coat out of the way, so that there will be no obstruction between his pants and my face or my mouth. It’s disgusting. I’ve had men open their legs while I try to get past, so that I have to brush past their crotch, instead of moving out of the way or standing up so that I don’t have to touch them. And they sometimes move closer just so that you HAVE to brush past them and their crotch as you try to get off the train.

None of these are seriously violent or offensive stories. But each and every time I feel like a sex object, I feel disrespected, and I feel like throwing up.

Because it’s so subtle, I feel as though there’s nothing I can do about it, I feel powerless. At least if they were touching me, I could say “HEY STOP TOUCHING MY BUTT!”. But in these cases, what am I going to say : “HEY STOP STARING AT ME AND SHOVING YOUR CROTCH IN MY FACE!” ?? The thing is, I can’t actually accuse them of anything, because I don’t have any proof. How can I prove that they actually were shoving their crotch in my face on purpose, and that it wasn’t just the unfortunate consequence of an overcrowded train. The thing is, they use the situation to their advantage, and I guess that’s why so many men do it. It’s like they know they can get away with it, even though they know they really shouldn’t, because it can be explained away by the circumstances. As long as they don’t get caught red-handed, it’s faire game! So by all means, if the situation allows it, be my guest! (No thought as t o: hey, maybe she might feel uncomfortable if I do this. Maybe I shouldn’t actually do it.)

I don’t know how to deal with it. And it happens so often, it’s just exhausting. It’s now a regular part of my day, and I really wish guys would just knock it off.

Do they really think we’re just meat lined up on the shelf? Do they really just think they can examine us as they like, turn us over mentally, enjoy our physical attributes as if we were some toy at a sex store? It’s disgusting, and I wish it would stop now! Any advice on how to deal with it would be amazing…

I am thinking of printing up a little card and giving it to every man who does this to me in the future. Something to the effect of : “Dude, you’re staring at me, cut it out! I am not a sex object, and I am not here for your contemplation, or for your sexual satisfaction. It’s rude and disrespectful. Stop it now please. Thank you!”

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Awareness! Men don’t know about it. (Creeps think it’s okay to harass girls; and nice guys don’t know it’s a problem)

Get the message out into the public in 2 ways:

1. Create awareness about the problem through posters in public places, in cities everywhere (GRUNTS ARE NOT COMPLIMENTS! MY NAME IS NOT BABY!). General message: dude, this is not okay!

2. Create positive ideas about women in people’s minds, through public posters, positive ad campaigns, or other forms of communication.

Just put up positive images and ideas about women everywhere, in public places! Public opinion is highly susceptible to the images it sees in its environment (this is why advertising works.) So do the same thing big companies do in their ad campaigns, but to create a positive image of women.

The product: women as human beings, worthy of respect and appreciation. The means: images of women that incite feelings of positivity, respect, admiration, whatever

– SL

Location: Paris, France

 Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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