Dylan Jane Manderlink, Arkansas, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
Dear
You are not free to hit on me. Contrary to what you, your friends, and society might think, I am the only one who can take charge of me entirely. Your indecent comments, unwanted examination of my body, promotion of subtle violence, and unawareness of my personal space were your failed attempts to take charge of me, assert your power, and have what isn’t yours. When you defensively spat back at me after I initially ignored you, I hope you know how primitive and humiliating your actions were. When you took one too many steps closer to me, you violated my personal space and being. When your eyes tried undressing me, you disregarded my humanness, made me feel incredibly uncomfortable in a city I call home, and grossly tried asserting an alpha male status in a public space.
But you knew that. You knew what you were doing. You knew that I didn’t and don’t want to be objectified, treated like an emotionless clothing store mannequin, and have my safety and security compromised. You knew very well that when I walk down the street I’m not asking for or inviting any sort of commentary, glares, and touching.
You treat us women as if we’re a player in your perverted and debasing game of “Street Harassment”. And of course you need to be the one controlling the “game pieces” of your sadistic game. But there’s no “Pass & Go” space in this game. You, as the street harasser have eliminated that piece because that would mean that we are free to pass by you, unharmed, untouched, unbothered, and safely. But you can’t let that happen, can you? So instead, you rig the game in favor of yourself, patriarchy, and systemic violence. You rig the game and manipulate its rules to get what you want, look at who you want, and remind those who pass you that they are objects in your game, not human beings. Your male entitlement is the card you’ve created that “trumps” all. You’ve set up the game so that we lose every time. We lose if we ignore you. We lose if we shoot you an assertive and powerful look. We lose if we fight back and honestly confront you and your offensive behavior. We even lose when we try advocating for ourself and others. We lose when we try and seek justice. What kind of game have you created? As activists, community members, advocates, bloggers, women, people who care, we will not let you win in your “game” anymore.
The game you created is “Street Harassment” and it’s been perpetuated by people like yourself and our patriarchal society. It’s a form of violence against women. Street harassment is systemic and insidious and you are perpetuating it with each unwanted comment, glare, touch, and violation of personal space. The violence women experience on the street as a result of street harassment is also perpetuated by the silence and inaction of others – of pedestrians who see it and decide to ignore it, of men who don’t educate other men, of big influencers who don’t make this issue a priority. But it’s not a game to us. Ending street harassment is a priority to us. When you swooped your head down and tried burying your face in my breasts, I did not want to be a part of that game. In fact, I made my rejection, discomfort, and fury clear. And your utter disregard for my space, my being, my body, and my opinions is loudly demonstrative of your unfair, unequal, and shameful perception of women.
We don’t exist for you to look at. We don’t walk down the street so you can put your face in my breasts. We don’t exist for you to promote systemic violence, inequality, and oppression. We will continue to exist. We will continue to walk through public spaces. Do not punish me for being a woman. We avow to be treated fairly, respectfully, equally, and humanely.
Your street harassment is exactly why we still need feminism. Your complete indifference to women’s humanity is exactly why I will continue to write passionate letters like this, publicly decry street harassment and other injustices, and advocate for the empowerment of ALL people in society at every chance I get.
– Dylan
Dylan is a recent graduate of Emerson College and currently teaches 8th, 10th, and 11th grade Digital Communications and Audio/Visual Technology in an Arkansas high school. You can visit her personal blog and follow her on Twitter @DylanManderlink.
