Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015
The first time I experienced harassment was when I was eight. I was standing by the bakery with my brother, who was also little. I was lost in my childish world when I felt a hand on my butthole. I looked back in shock and all I saw was a number of men, each pretending to be busy with their own work. I was too young to understand what had happened. The whole day, I was anxious and worried. Eventually, I persuaded myself that what I experienced did not happen but was only in my head.
The next day, I had gone back into my world of childhood, but until today, 22 years later, I feel a dark shadow on my heart every time I think about that day. In the past 22 years, I have experienced similar things many many more times. Every time, I have felt humiliated and weak. Every time, I have felt guilty and blamed myself. Every time, I have felt hatred for the men around me, for my life. I began to cover myself more. I stopped wearing makeup. I walked around with a frown on my face as to not give anyone the impression that I was interested in it. But none of these things have protected me from the harassment and violation of my body that me and thousands of women around me face every day.
Constant experiences of street harassment made me feel angry towards men. I began to equate masculinity with rape and violence and I felt that I must always protect myself from men. This is a side effect of street harassment on men. It prevents them from gaining our trust and our love.
In addition, like most women, I also experienced that street harassment had negative impacts on my self-respect and confidence. We cannot dismiss street harassment. It is a serious issue in our communities and we need to do things to stop it before another generation of girls grows up with the hatred, fear, and lack of self-confidence that my generation grew up with. We need to teach our boys to respect women and girls and we need to give our daughters the skills to defend themselves if it comes to that.
Hiding women inside the homes, covering them up in layers and layers of clothing, and preventing them from going out will not end street harassment. In contrast, preventing girls from being active in society contributes to a system that dominates women by keeping them weak in the society and giving them the smallest venues of influence power, if any at all. We must allow our daughters to go outside. Play. Learn. Work. And when they face issues, we must protect them and support them so that harassers and other predators don’t think that their actions will go by unnoticed and unpunished.
By Tamana Azaad, cross-posted from Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan
