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Archives for April 2015

USA: Rolling Stone’s Failure is Our Opportunity to Believe Survivors

April 7, 2015 By Correspondent

LB Klein, Georgia, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Content warning: sexual violence and media attention

Credit: C-Ville

In late 2014, Rolling Stone released an extensive article entitled “Rape on Campus,” that included the story of “Jackie,” a student who reported that she was gang raped in a fraternity. On Sunday night, the Columbia School of Journalism released an investigative report on how Rolling Stone mishandled their reporting of this story. Some have interpreted Rolling Stone’s journalistic failure as a sign that the pervasive public health problem of sexual assault, particularly on college campuses, is overblown. While journalists should certainly use Columbia’s report as a teaching tool, this debacle should have no bearing on how we view the endemic issue of sexual assault on campus or the necessity that we believe survivors. In fact, believing survivors is more important than ever.

I’m grateful to have had many survivors of sexual violence trust me with their stories. I’ve received these stories whispered in anonymous hotline calls; revealed through the course of twelve hours in an ER or full years in the courtroom; screamed into microphones at speak outs; or given to the world through public activism or anonymous reports. These survivors have been strangers, clients, friends, significant others, and family members. I also see a survivor every day when I look in the mirror.

If I did not have this lived experience as a survivor, advocate, and activist, there are countless studies on the endemic nature of sexual assault in our communities and on our campuses. For every survivor who tells their* story publicly, there are countless others who choose silence as the best decision for their survival. Our culture so endorses the silencing of survivors that speaking out is considered exceptionally brave. The scope of gender-based violence spans all spaces in which we live our lives from the bedroom to the boardroom to the street. Even though street harassment occurs in a public place, speaking out about it is rare and survivors fear the consequences of calling it out, even anonymously.

I have watched the horrified faces of hundreds of survivors as they turn over choices no one should have to make in their minds. Risk scrutiny or to stay silent? Seek justice or to stay silent. Seek solidarity or stay silent? Each choice has drawbacks and is subject to endless public or private criticism. Many survivors choose silence or telling only a few people, chosen strategically. Even after this careful deliberation, survivors are still blamed, betrayed, and called “liars” and “crazy” by the loved ones and systems they hope will help them.

Many survivors certainly live in fear of their abusers but all survivors live in a greater fear of disbelief, harassment, criticism, isolation, community retaliation, loss, and judgment. Survivors who have gone public or sought justice face these issues on an amplified scale and the backlash they face shows other survivors the costs of coming forward.  The response to Rolling Stone’s poor reporting choices is yet another example to survivors that if one story faces scrutiny, all survivors will be assumed to be lying.

Over the past few years, I have read many stories of people faking a cancer diagnosis to solicit donations for their own personal gain. This exploitation of real tragedy is clearly far more nefarious than journalistic or police investigations have even insinuated “Jackie” to be.  These stories of faked illnesses for cash, however, have not inspired us to question friends or strangers when they disclose their suffering to us. We don’t ask, “are you sure you really have cancer? I hear a lot of people lie about having cancer, can you show me your medical records? Are you sure you’re not just looking for attention? You look fine to me, do you really need time off of work or school to get treatment for cancer?”

As a culture, we become collectively appalled that someone would make up a cancer diagnosis, and anyone who tries to use one of these stories as evidence that “cancer survivors lie” would be lambasted. The same consequences should be dealt for those who disbelieve the staggering numbers of survivors of sexual assault on college campus due to scrutiny applied to one story. Even if “Jackie’s” story is patently false, it should not lessen our outrage when we hear about sexual violence. In fact, the response to “Jackie’s” story should cause us to redouble our efforts to believe survivors. This backlash is a reminder of how far we still have to go to foster a survivor supportive culture that is truly intolerant of sexual violence.

Our culture is a rape culture.  Through disbelieving survivors, we perpetuate abuse, violence, and trauma.   According to FBI crime statistics, about 2% of reports of rape prove false, which is consistent with false reporting of other violent crimes. I would much rather give the unwavering benefit of the doubt on the side of that 98%, especially knowing that the reaction a survivor receives when disclosing what happened is the single best predictor of the severity of their trauma reaction and time it will take them to heal.

While none of us truly know “Jackie’s” truth and lived experience, even if her story could be proven to be fabricated, I remain steadfast in my stance that we must believe survivors.  If “Jackie” is a part of that 2%, the potential debunking of her story does not cause the other 98% to evaporate. The public attention to rare false reports, however, does cause survivors to remain silent. The spectacle created by the Rolling Stone story requires us to increase our public, unapologetic support of survivors. We must recognize the suffering of survivors that is exacerbated by the attention paid to this one story and this one article. There has been immense harm done to survivors through this very public scrutiny of one case. Because of Rollins Stone’s failures, we must commit to believing survivors now more than ever.

*I use “their” as a gender neutral pronoun to refer to survivors, recognizing that women and trans people  disproportionately experience sexual violence but men are also sexually assaulted, particularly before the age of 18.  The vast majority of perpetrators are men but there are perpetrators of all genders.

LB is an Atlanta-based advocate, student, educator, and consultant who has dedicated her professional and academic career to ending gender-based violence, supporting survivors, and advancing social justice.  You can follow her on twitter @LB_Klein.

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Filed Under: News stories

Call for art against sexual violence

April 6, 2015 By HKearl

Our board member Manuel runs Hey Baby Art Against Sexual Violence. Check out this call for art against sexual violence — including street harassment. Submissions can come from anywhere!

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Filed Under: Resources, street harassment

“He said that I should not show up again there”

April 5, 2015 By Contributor

I was waiting for the bus line 40 in Athens Greece Syggrou Fix. A man approached me and claimed we met before. I said I didn’t know him, he insisted, after a while I asked him to leave me alone. He did not so I said if he continued I’d call the police. He left at first then came back and continued approaching me in already very aggressive way, saying it was actually me bothering him and I should stop looking at him etc.

I decided to move to another stop (tram stop near that bus stop) and he followed me and eventually approached me again asking to stop looking at him and when I again asked him to leave me alone he actually approached me very close and grabbed my hand which started to hurt. Thanks to the person (a young woman) sitting next to me who actually tried to protect me and whom I asked to call the police. This caused him to leave, but he said that I should not show up again there or else I’d be in big trouble. The man was bald, not too tall, shorter than I am, facial hair, trimmed. May wear a hat as he claimed that he does sometimes which is why I did not recognized him, as he claimed, because he was sure we met before.

– Anonymous

Location: Athens Greece Syggrou Fix bus stop

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“You’re the ugliest person I’ve ever seen”

April 4, 2015 By Contributor

I was running an errand for work, and was walking along the side of the street to head back to my car. As I approached an intersection and waited for the light to cross, a man in a car stopped to yell at me. He yelled “you’re so beautiful, do you have a boyfriend?” To which I ignored. My relationship status should be irrelevant- I’m not interested in you, do you really respect that another man has a girlfriend more than you respect my lack of interest? I shouldn’t need an excuse not to be interested.

Anyways, when the cat calling was persistent enough, I looked up from my phone and said, “Excuse me?” with a dirty look. I noticed the man was not alone in the car, but had another woman sitting next to him. When I shook my head and looked away, he slowly drove by and said, “You should say thank you when someone gives you a compliment,” and the woman next to him yelled, “You’re the ugliest person I’ve ever seen.” I wanted to yell that sexual harassment was a crime and take his license plate number, but no one else was around, they were in a car, and I was scared.

I regret not saying something else.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Even if it’s just a dirty look, let the harasser know that their harassment is NOT OKAY. Don’t let their feeling of power over women be encouraged.

– Lindsey

Location: Lansing, MI

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

 

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“One guy even asked to see my breasts”

April 3, 2015 By Contributor

I was on a walk with my friends outside, and a few guys passed by us. They kept saying how they wanted to “squeeze my ass” and that they would “pound the f*** out of her”. Incredibly embarrassing especially with friends around. One guy even asked to see my breasts, and when I didn’t respond he continued to yell profanities at me and continue to walk after me. That was really scary.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

If you don’t feel safe talking back, don’t. Street harassment can go from a catcall, to rape. It’s that serious. If you don’t feel in danger, talk back. Make them know you aren’t just some walking display for their enjoyment. You are a woman. You are not an object. Don’t let the world think otherwise.

– Anonymous

Location: Portland, Maine

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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