Marinella Matejcic, Croatia, SSH Blog Correspondent
You know how, when we talk about street harassment, most people just assume that it involves a woman, a man and physical or verbal violence? Maybe you’ll react on the sentence you just read and say: but it can involve a trans* person, as well! You would be completely right, but that’s not the issue here.
I want to talk about another form of street harassment, the one that we’re not “ranting” about enough. It incorporates patriarchy, body shaming and street violence as we know it: breastfeeding in public. Everyday Feminism and HuffingtonPost have covered the topic, but are we paying enough attention?
Sometimes, it is amiss, depending on your location and whereabouts, as well as your feminism postulates, to talk about the relation of feminism and childbearing/caring. But if we talk biology, kids are something some women have, which is perfectly fine. The broader feminist community has to incorporate mothers into their stories and keep the whole “women, sisters” agenda as far as possible from crossing a woman because of her reproductive choices. We tend to talk about sexual and reproductive health and rights, but, from time to time, ignore actual women who decided to procreate.
Saying: “I’m fine with breastfeeding, but…” doesn’t portray you as an open-minded individual – that but is what distinguishes a valid opinion from discrimination.
Some people say that it’s a disgusting site to see. Breastfeeding is disgusting because a woman’s boob is out and the baby is, ugh, eating from it? How awful is that? I really don’t even want to get into that double-standards-patriarchy talk. There is no doubt that the patriarchy itself is the core problem of why do people consider that they are entitled to judge, give advice to or obstruct any women’s actions. But I don’t think that we should discuss this topic related to general hyper-sexualisation and acceptance of women’s breasts in the media and marketing industry. That is a waste of time and emphasizes the wrong notion that woman has to do something specific with her body in order to please the general audience and expectations. Forcing a person to somehow feel ashamed because of a personal process that isn’t hurting anybody is a form of oppression, you know?
Let’s sum it up: I’m talking oppression, feminism and sexualisation. What does nurture have to do with that and how can I justify this blog post on a site street harassment, when it is clearly about breastfeeding? It’s really simple: street harassment can be broadly defined but in every definition, it includes some force of violence in public space – and banning a mother from feeding her child is violence. Sexualisation of that act is violence. There was a great article on this on Everyday Feminism, called 8 Reasons Why the Policing of Parents Who Nurse in Public Is Street Harassment. It is a good read.
Somehow I just can’t get rid of the notion that by shaming a nursing woman, we’re sending signals that a woman’s body is here just for being tangled by society’s ideas on a woman’s position. It’s fact that basically, a woman produces food and feeds her baby in a most natural way, but is seen as daring to provoke the general public by claiming her own body! What nerve, huh? Again, oppression through shaming. Sound familiar?
At one point in my life, I was a breastfeeding mom as well and had to cope with comments like, “Why don’t you just breastfeed her in the toilet, it’s not a nice sight!” or “Are you sure, somebody might see you?” or even “But that’s a private thing, don’t publicize it,” on, I guess, a weekly basis.
By opting-in for the shaming of breastfeeding mothers in the street or in some shopping place (for instance, these security officers that harassed a bunch of breastfeeding moms at a mall, because they were such a threat to public moral and everything) you are perpetuating the culture of violence and street harassment. Maybe, if you find it edgy to think about it in those terms, just try to put yourself in those shoes, while doing some dull everyday task. Imagine people telling you “don’t do that HERE”, “you’re OBSCENE”, “hush, hide!”
What would be your feelings if a complete stranger came up to you and told you to put that food of yours away because that’s not what a nice person is supposed to do outdoors and among other people?
So, what should one do when one meets a woman that nurtures her child in public? Nothing. Live and let live.
What if you breastfeed and somebody harasses you? Best for Babes has some good advice.
Views on breastfeeding in general and views about it specifically in public are so different across the globe, and we have to keep that in mind. Feeding a child in public is a choice that a woman has to have. After all, a baby has to eat.
Marinella is a freelance journalist/writer, feminist activist, and soon-to-be administrative law student. She writes for Croatian portal on gender, sex and democracy called Libela.org and covers CEE stories for globalvoicesonline.org. Follow her on Twitter @mmatejci.
