"I ran as fast I could and he was chasing after me"

I remember it very well, it was maybe 4-5 years ago and I was in 3rd grade. My mom allowed me to walk to school alone. Now I believe that was a mistake because as I turned the corner I heard the footsteps. I looked behind me and he put his head down I started to walk faster and so did he. I ran as fast I could and he was chasing after me. He attempted to grab me so I screamed and ran faster. I got close to the crossing guards and I told them I was being followed by a man and turned back to point at the man but he had disappeared. I told my principal and gave the police the best description I could.

Ever since then I’ve been traumatized and shakey. I know you’re saying it was five years ago, get over it. I just can’t as it’s extremely hard to. It was a traumatizing experience, but now I’m in 7th grade and I’ve had two other experiences. And that is my story.

– Anonymous

Location: Bellwood, IL

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Ben says

January 27, 2016 at 7:25 pm

It sounds like you did absolutely everything correctly. Third grade, that’s what? 8 or 9 or something (it’s clearly been a while since I left school) … yeah, some quick calculations and it was 8 for me (9 at the end of that year). Now, most kids that age still have tunnel vision (as in literally), they’re not fully aware of their surroundings and because they never expect it (who does?), they tend to be fairly pliant when a stranger approaches because they’re taught (often), to respect adults.

Whereas you spotted the danger either immediately or almost immediately, identified as much of him as possible, sought to increase the distance without exhausting yourself and then once the pretence at walking was given up, you bolted. Finally, when longer legs and the rest closed in you didn’t hesitate to scream; again, absolutely the right thing to do.

The best part is that it worked. My guess is that what you didn’t see because your focus was solely escape, was probably that he gave up the chase when the screaming continued beyond the first one. Even if no one else intervened, his fear would have been that he be identified, so the potential of others looking in that direction was enough to scare him off.

So when you have those moments of doubt and think, “what could I have done better?” In that case, nothing better, that was exemplary.

As for your reactions since, that’s a natural response to extreme danger. Which, no matter what anyone else might say since then, precisely what it was. Even so, still reacting that way five years later, I would suggest you ask your mum to get you a referral to child psychologist specialising in PTSD. You probably need to talk it all through with someone who understands all the ways it can affect you afterwards. Letting it slide can be bad and bottling it up is worse. You’re clearly strong enough to handle this, but that doesn’t mean you have to do so alone.

That’s the mistake I made, I put my reactions aside or suppressed them, thinking there was too much else to do or that others had it worse. So when I finally encountered things which pushed through the edges of my resilience, the compounded effect of years and events made it all much worse. Please don’t make the same mistake I did.

Good luck.

Comments

Ben says

January 27, 2016 at 7:25 pm

It sounds like you did absolutely everything correctly. Third grade, that’s what? 8 or 9 or something (it’s clearly been a while since I left school) … yeah, some quick calculations and it was 8 for me (9 at the end of that year). Now, most kids that age still have tunnel vision (as in literally), they’re not fully aware of their surroundings and because they never expect it (who does?), they tend to be fairly pliant when a stranger approaches because they’re taught (often), to respect adults.

Whereas you spotted the danger either immediately or almost immediately, identified as much of him as possible, sought to increase the distance without exhausting yourself and then once the pretence at walking was given up, you bolted. Finally, when longer legs and the rest closed in you didn’t hesitate to scream; again, absolutely the right thing to do.

The best part is that it worked. My guess is that what you didn’t see because your focus was solely escape, was probably that he gave up the chase when the screaming continued beyond the first one. Even if no one else intervened, his fear would have been that he be identified, so the potential of others looking in that direction was enough to scare him off.

So when you have those moments of doubt and think, “what could I have done better?” In that case, nothing better, that was exemplary.

As for your reactions since, that’s a natural response to extreme danger. Which, no matter what anyone else might say since then, precisely what it was. Even so, still reacting that way five years later, I would suggest you ask your mum to get you a referral to child psychologist specialising in PTSD. You probably need to talk it all through with someone who understands all the ways it can affect you afterwards. Letting it slide can be bad and bottling it up is worse. You’re clearly strong enough to handle this, but that doesn’t mean you have to do so alone.

That’s the mistake I made, I put my reactions aside or suppressed them, thinking there was too much else to do or that others had it worse. So when I finally encountered things which pushed through the edges of my resilience, the compounded effect of years and events made it all much worse. Please don’t make the same mistake I did.

Good luck.