Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for February 2016

“These unfortunate samples of human existence do not deserve to get the better of my calm”

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It was around 5:30 in the evening and I was walking down an alley which had houses on one side, however, there was a street light knocked out right above the spot where the three harassers were sitting. I was walking along and one of the guys, in a sing-sing voice called out for his dick to be sucked. I immediately stopped in my tracks, turned around to face them and made a stern face and looked them in the eye for about 5 seconds, and one of them asked “What?” in a very surprised tone.

After I’d stood narrowed my eyes at them for a while, I began walking away, with my heart racing, hoping they wouldn’t follow me. I could hear one of them justify amongst themselves (or maybe it was for me to hear) how he had said the phrase only as the lyrics to a song. I felt like I should’ve made them apologize. It’s just that these unfortunate samples of human existence do not deserve to get the better of my calm but the scenario of an ideal response keeps bothering me.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Build a person’s conscience and morals in the private space to ensure safety in the public space.

– S.R.

Location: Kolkata, India, on the way to a departmental store

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“I felt really uncomfortable and ashamed”

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I was walking into a Safeway grocery store in the early evening when I was about 21 years old. Two men who were much older than me were standing near the entrance and started saying things over and over as I was walking by like “Hey sexy”, “What are you doing tonight”, “Where are you going?”

I felt really uncomfortable and ashamed for some reason. I was coming from work and was dressed modestly, not that that should be an excuse. I tried to ignore them, but ended up turning my head to look at them. I didn’t say or do anything and I didn’t smile and then I turned my head straight again. For some reason they didn’t like that I looked at them and still ignored them or didn’t say hi or what. Then they started yelling that I was a “fu**ing bitch” and “you’re not pretty anyway” but it was very angry and I felt extremely scared and uncomfortable. I asked a bagger to walk me out to my car.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

In my instance, a security guard and cameras in the parking lots. Management that will take action — or anyone that will take action.

– Elaina Cordova

Location: Sacramento, CA at the Safeway store on Fair Oaks and Howe Avenue.

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“I felt like I was being treated like a dog. “

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I honestly don’t know what to classify this as. It’s not street harassment, not catcalling, because the guys never actually talked to me.

I’m 18 years old, and was sitting at a table at a public library getting some homework done. I heard a couple of guys come and start a conversation with someone sitting behind me, but I didn’t think much about it. When I realized that they weren’t going away any time soon, I got my earbuds out so that I could listen to background music instead of their voices.

Before I had plugged them in, however, it seemed like they were wrapping up their conversation when one of them said, “Hold on a minute, I want to sit on this couch here first,” and went to sit at the couch by my table.

That didn’t surprise me, unfortunately, so I rushed to plug in my earbuds and get them in my ears, and while I was doing so the first man, who I’ll call Chad, said something to his friend about that “beautiful lady sitting in that chair” as he walked by me. I was grossed out. This normally lovely word had been twisted when used by Chad in regards to me, and I was NOT flattered. Chad continued to comment on me to his friend, “Isaiah”, who would also refer to me as “beautiful”, and was constantly turning around to glimpse at me.

I kept my earbuds in as a good excuse to ignore them and pretended that my music was too loud for me to hear what they were saying. Twice they had a friend drop by and each time Chad would mutter to them, “The chair. Look in the chair. Right there. See that pretty girl?” Their first friend, “Horace” stuck around while “Vanessa” left very shortly after she came.

I knew that I was relatively safe since there were other people on the floor, but I still didn’t dare to get up out of fear that if I did Chad would start talking to me, and who knows how that would’ve gone down. I felt like I was being treated like a dog.

A “man” spots a cute dog and can’t stop talking about it to his friends and points it out to everyone that he meets. But never does he actually talk to the dog, he just talks about it while it is sitting right next to him. If he did approach this seemingly mild-mannered dog it would tear his skin off, although he could probably knock it over.

I was constantly on edge around him, I felt humiliated and scared. I was running through my mind what would be the best way to leave: get up and risk grabbing Chad’s obsessive attention, or wait for him to leave and risk the possibility of him waiting for me in the parking lot. I found my chance when Isaiah started lecturing Horace about the good life decisions that he needs to make now that he’s out of prison. I packed my backpack and left, never looking back while they were still in sight. Even then I still didn’t want to be alone, and didn’t even chance going to the bathroom by myself.

“Beautiful” is not a compliment when coming from a guy that I don’t know in a solitary setting such as a library. This is not a club and I was not dressed as a clubber. That is less of a complement on me than it is a comment on his character.

– Mary

Location: Public library

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“I Even Had to Run From Some of Them”

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The harassment started by the time I was 10 or 11 years old, which would have been about 1966/1967. Every time I was walking alone. By boys and men of all ages. I was made to feel so ashamed of looking female. I felt afraid and powerless. I even had to run from some of them.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I’ve intervened a few times for other women and in those cases my being an older woman and much more aggressive helped.

I honestly don’t think much of the male sex. I know there are good, honorable male persons out there, but I’ve not personally known many of them. There is so little responsible male mentoring out there. They learn from what they see, hear, and experience. When you look at what’s on the news, in magazines, etc. it’s all so denigrating to women.

After all this time I see young women are still more concerned about how they look and about how men perceive them, how big their wardrobe is, how many pairs of designer shoes they have, having the best manicure, what sort of cosmetic surgery to have, etc. I really wonder if there is any hope for us.

Violence continues to grow exponentially in our society and, shockingly, a great deal of it is towards women. For instance I heard some rap musician singing/talking about beating women and a woman was singing along with it!

I think little girls should learn empowerment and self defense from the time they start school and onward until they graduate from high school. How about programs in schools to teach children and teenagers how to treat each other ethically and kindly, because they’re most definitely not learning it at home.

– SLA

Location: Hillsboro, Oregon, Spokane, Washington

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

 

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Early Feb. 2016 News Round-Up

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A few stories in the news:

IWPR, “Afghan Women Demand Action Over Street Harassment”:

“Latifa, 22, earns up to 150 US dollars each month working in a factory that processes dried fruit. She needs the money, but longs to leave her job because of the gauntlet she has to run on her journey to and from work each day.

Every morning, as soon as she leaves her house and heads for the bus stop, men begin to harass her. Private cars pull up beside her and the occupants try to lure her inside.

“These men invite me to go have fun with them, they offer to pay me money, they harass and taunt me,” she told IWPR. The same thing happens on the way home.

The harassment had reached a point, she explained, where she would prefer not to have to go out to work at all. However, she has to support her family as her father was killed in a suicide bombing three years ago.

Campaigners say that street harassment in Afghanistan has reached epidemic proportions. Women furious at the extent of the problem have been organising public protests across the country.”

She dropped out of school, around a year back, because of the street harassment she regularly faced while returning home.  The teenage girl, however, did not know that she would soon muster the courage to fight back and speak up for others.

DNA, “The story of a teenage girl and her battle against street harassment”:

“This is the story of courage of 16 years old girl Anajli, who resides in Sanjay Camp area that comes under Deoli assembly constituency of Delhi. The JJ Cluster colony, according to rough estimates, is home to around 10,000 families, and is believed to be a highly unsafe area for women, who feared stepping out of their homes after 8 pm till some time back.

‘Lewd comments, ogling, attempts of molestation break the confidence of many girls living here. That’s what happened to me, and so I decided to leave school. I missed studies, but I feared the repercussions of going out and facing the menace,’ Anjali recalls…

Anjali, who is now well-versed in laws pertaining to gender-based violence and regularly holds casual meetings with women in her locality, is also happy to get back to school, finally. ‘I have no fear of the men I may face out there because I feel empowered by empowering others,’ she sums up.”

City Lab, “How Urban Design Could Help Reduce Rape in India”

“Indians are moving to cities to access opportunity. If women of any class or background feel unsafe leaving their houses to pursue that opportunity, the promise of India’s urban future would be lost. A radical rethink of how Indian cities are designed must be a central part of how the country does justice to “J”’s memory.”

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