I had just gotten to my local train station, which is in the suburbs of Philadelphia, when I heard this man yelling. He was screaming at a young woman who was smoking. She was young and attractive and he was in his 50’s maybe. She was a good 30 or 40 feet away from everyone else on the platform. The stop is completely outside. I know there are signs prohibiting people from smoking around there. She had removed herself from everyone else so her cigarette use shouldn’t have bothered anyone. This man was pointing his finger, shouting that she was a criminal for smoking, and driving the point home with all sorts of other obscenities.
I was surprised at how angry he was. I was like, “Excuse me sir. You need to back up and leave her alone.” He tried to continue his tirade. I calmly, but firmly said, “Stop. I don’t care about the smoking rule, I care that you are harassing her. You don’t have the right to do that. Now stay away from us.” I sat down next to her.
He went back to the rest of the people waiting for the train. She told me he had followed her around the train stop several other times, doing the same thing. She’d tried to stay in the area where smoking was allowed but she didn’t want to be completely isolated after he harassed her the first time. She said I was the first person to ever say anything to him. He also apparently was with his wife.
He targeted this girl because she was alone, her smoking distanced her from everyone else. He felt like he could insult her and get away with it. If it had truly been about a cigarette, he would have asked politely for her to move farther away, or complained to a conductor once on the train. He was a bully and backed down once he realized she wasn’t alone.
Once on the train we did tell the conductor about him. He gave her some advice as to how she could file a complaint, and I believe he said something to the man. I wish we had taken a picture of him, to show the conductor or even the police. There is a police station right behind the train station.
– Megan
Location: Prospect Park, PA
Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?
I think if you see someone being harassed, intervene. You don’t have to yell at the harasser, you can just start a conversation with the person they are bothering. Bullies want an easy target and they rely on other people not stepping in.
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.
