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Archives for June 2016

“Make it known”

June 22, 2016 By Contributor

I have been harassed four times this week by men standing on scaffolding. This is something I have come to accept in daily life as the norm. My male friends seem not to know or understand that this is happening and my female friends don’t talk about it.

After these men shouted again today at me with more sexual profanities, I decided to call the police, once I took the long way home avoiding these men. Once I was through to the police, I was really happy to be talking to a woman. But not for long. The policewoman seemed to think I was blowing everything out of proportion and suggested I go up to these men in the street and tell them how it was making me feel and that they should stop.

Any woman who knows what type of situation this is will know that this will not only fan the flames and encourage them, but will bring the spotlight on me more. This will cause a scene and they will most likely laugh and shout more. I wouldn’t want them to see my face more and give them any kind of satisfaction from communicating with them. Plus, since they are only a few houses away, they will know where I live.

After I told the policewoman this, she said, “What are you even expecting them to do?”

I held onto the phone in silence, but in my mind I felt like shouting, “Rape me” “Follow me” “Harass me more.”

Isn’t it bad enough that they are already verbally abusing me everyday?

I said, “Sorry. I don’t understand, why are you not taking me seriously?”

I think she then was worried as she said she would look up the address and try and call the residence and tell them the police have had a complaint.

Since I was around 11, I have noticed and experienced this sort of abuse from men. After hearing a woman police officer sympathise with these men, I questioned it myself. Maybe I was being too much of a wimp or that I need to be stronger… but NO! it’s not right, and it never is. I say complain every time, tell people what happened, educate friends about what you have gone through and MAKE IT KNOWN.

– S

Location: Cumbia

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50
Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: police, young age

USA: #ListenToUs: Why Men Need to Listen to Women’s Stories of Sexual Violence

June 21, 2016 By Correspondent

Mariel DiDato, NJ, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

I Believe SurvivorsRecently, I was out with a friend for a night on the town. When the night was over, we were waiting for our ride home on the sidewalk outside of our favorite late-night food spot. We happened to overhear a conversation between three men standing near us on the sidewalk. They were discussing a rape case, and talking about how “the girl was definitely lying about the rape.”

“Do you hear these guys?” I said to my friend.

“Seriously,” she replied, “Of course they think she lied.”

We began discussing about how normal sexual violence is for women. How some men think “no” means “convince me,” or how others think that rape can only be committed by a stranger in a dark alley.

My friend and I experienced that normalcy just that afternoon on the beach. A man had been staring at and following us up and down the shoreline. We were oblivious to this until two women sitting nearby let us know we had a stalker. They said they were calling him “The Hawk.” My friend and I walked back and forth a few times to test it out, and sure enough, we realized he was tailing our every move. The four of us laughed together about how creepy it was.

Perspective: we laughed about a potential predator following us. That’s how much we are used to this kind of behavior.

While my friend and I were discussing this on the sidewalk, a different man came up to us and scolded us for suggesting that sexual violence was normalized. I told him that he should listen to women when we talk about our experiences. Instead, he made a joke, and tried to convince us that we were overreacting.

“I volunteer with survivors of sexual assault,” I said. “I’m also a woman. I know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah, of course you do,” he replied under his breath. As if I wasn’t to be trusted. As if I was lying just to win an argument with an irrelevant stranger. As if women regularly lie about how we’ve been attacked by men for the sake of spite. As if a man knows a woman’s experience better than a woman.

Why does this sound so familiar? Maybe it was because when Hollaback posted a video about a woman being catcalled in NYC, men told women that we are overreacting and that we should accept strange men’s compliments. Maybe it was because of #NotAllMen, where some (not all!) men become more upset about the semantics in women’s testimonies of violence than they do about the actual violence. Maybe it was because in the cases of Bill Cosby, Dr. Luke, Johnny Depp, and even in the random group of boys standing next to us on the sidewalk, there is always the assumption that the woman must be lying about her assault.

When women are upset about catcalling, we just need to lighten up and smile. When women are talking about how men abuse us, we are automatically condemning the entire gender. When women choose to report a highly under-reported crime, it must be because they have ulterior motives. The fact that only 2 to 8% of reports of sexual assault are false seems to be insufficient evidence for the majority of women who won’t be believed.

We’re just devious. We’re just emotional. We’re just overreacting.

This mistrust of women occurs at each stage of the violence pyramid. No matter what a woman’s complaints are, they‘re minimized or discounted by someone. It’s irritating, but relatively harmless, when it’s a drunken stranger on a sidewalk who tells me that I’m thinking incorrectly about my own experiences with violence. It’s another thing when a survivor’s report of sexual assault is met with disbelief, and even retaliation. It’s a systematic problem when not only friends and family, but judges and police officers, are more likely to think that a survivor is lying about being harassed or assaulted than they are to believe their story. I’ve seen both personally, and professionally. This has to stop.

If you’re reading this and saying, “Hey, wait! I listen to women, this article is unfair!” It’s not about you. Stop derailing the conversation, and listen.

If you hear a woman say she’s uncomfortable with catcalling, put yourself in her shoes. Walking down the street as a man and hearing a compliment is not the same as hearing a sexually-aggressive comment from someone that is, on average, 50 pounds larger than you. We’re not overreacting. You need to listen.

If you hear ANYONE talking about rape and you automatically assume that she or he is lying, you’re part of the problem. For their sake, and the sake of survivors everywhere, listen.

Take #ListenToUs to Twitter to share a time when your experience with sexual harassment or violence was minimized or not believed.

Mariel is a recent college graduate, feminist, and women’s rights activist. Currently, she volunteers for a number of different organizations, including the Planned Parenthood Action Fund of New Jersey and the New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault. You can follow her on Twitter at @marieldidato or check out her personal blog, Fully Concentrated Feminism.

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Filed Under: correspondents Tagged With: believing survivors, sexual assault, violene

Late June 2016 News Round-Up

June 21, 2016 By HKearl

BBC, “No woman ever turned down a barking guy? Right?”

“Women are using the hashtag #NoWomanEver to humorously highlight their not-so-funny experiences of wolf whistles, sexual comments from passing strangers and other street harassment.

Although the hashtag isn’t entirely new it’s been used more than 140,000 times in the last couple of days after an American social media user called Miss Black Awareness revived it to sarcastically applaud the actions of a man whose unwanted advances she had seemingly recently suffered.”

 

The Guardian, “Brazil and Argentina unite in protest against culture of sexual violence“

“While gender violence occurs worldwide, the problem has come to the fore in several countries in Latin America through the work of prominent feminist groups, many of which argue their region is particularly plagued by social insecurity and male-dominated traditions.”

 

The Guardian, “Jordan’s first self-defence centre for women boosts fight for rights”

“It started out as an ordinary day for Rasha Salih, a young woman who works as an accountant for a private trading company in the centre of Amman. Like most women in Jordan, she wears a headscarf and modest clothes when she goes out.

After a long day at work, the 26-year-old returned to her compound in the Shmeisani district at around 6pm and took the lift to her flat. A young man was already in the lift when she got in. He started to flirt with her, and before she knew it, he was trying to rip off her shirt. There was nowhere to escape, so Salih put her self-defence training to use by directing a few kicks to her attacker’s head and stomach.

She followed her attacker out on to the street when he tried to flee, and handed him over to the police. He was eventually sentenced to three years for attempted rape.

“I only recognised the value of self-defence training when I was struggling to escape at the hands of my attacker,” says Salih. “I felt I had a confidence that I hadn’t had before, I was able to overcome my fear and protect myself. It was an incredible feeling.”

Salih is one of more than 2,000 women who have been trained in self-defence at Amman’s SheFighter studio.”

 

International Business Times, “After Jo Cox’s tragic murder we need to stop ignoring death and rape threats to female MPs”

“We have created a widespread normalisation of the idea that women who dare to put their heads above the political parapet become legitimate targets for violent and sexual abuse; that they deserve to be silenced. Every time people have responded to death and rape threats and sexual abuse and harassment against female politicians by brushing it off, suggesting they should simply grow a thicker skin, or saying that it “comes with the territory,” they have incrementally contributed to the acceptance of such behaviour.

None of them has directly caused or condoned a physical attack like the one on Jo Cox. But that doesn’t mean that our attitudes towards the abuse of politicians, and in particular female politicians, don’t need to be urgently re-examined.”

 

Fusion, “A lot more NYC women are stepping forward to report sexual harassment on the subway”

“More New York City women are stepping forward to report what has been a longstanding problem on the subway: sexual harassment.

There have been 458 reported sex crimes, not including rape, in the subway through Monday, compared with 299 through the same period last year, NYPD Transit Chief Joseph Fox said in testimony before the Metropolitan Transportation Authority board. That’s a 53% increase, the Wall Street Journal reported Monday.

Fox attributed the jump to an increase in victims reporting the crimes rather than an actual uptick in offenses…

In 2014, the MTA set up a website where victims can report incidents.

If current rates continue, the subway system is on track to finish 2016 with about 900 violations, a 22% increase from last year. Fox said the annual numbers had hovered around 600 offenses. In 2014, there 621 and in 2013, there were 647.”

 

RT.com, “Majority of female Israeli MPs faced sexual harassment – survey”

“At least 28 out the Israeli parliament’s 32 female members have experienced sexual harassment or assault, and at least two of the cases took place in the Knesset building, a recent survey has found.

The survey carried out by Israeli Channel 2 encouraged the lawmakers to speak openly about the challenges they have faced in their everyday life and at work.”

 

The Telegraph, “Three in four urban women have experienced sexual harassment in worldwide ‘epidemic‘”

“Three in four women have been subjected to harassment and violence in cities across the world, according to new research by ActionAid UK, which described the situation as an “epidemic”.

On average, 40 per cent of women who took part in the YouGov poll in Brazil, India, Thailand and the UK, said that they had been groped in public – the incidents ranged from being followed to sexual abuse.

The research has been launched ahead of the charity’s International Safe Cities for Women Day, in a bid to tackle the urban violence that women and girls struggle with globally. In light of this, ActionAid  is urging the UK to contribute at least £70 million from its existing aid budget to help protect vulnerable women over the next three years.”

 

The Guardian, “Jessica Valenti: my life as a ‘sex object’”

“When you catch a cold or a virus, your body has ways of letting you know that you are sick. But what diagnosis do you give to the shaking hands you get after a stranger whispers “pussy” in your ear on your way to work? What medicine can you take to stop being afraid that the cab driver is not actually taking you home? And what about those of us who walk through all this without feeling any of it – what does it say about the hoops our brain had to jump through to get to ambivalence? I don’t believe any of us walk away unscathed.”

Read an edited extract from Jessica Valenti’s memoir Sex Object, published by Harper Collins at £16.99. To order a copy for £12.99, go to the Guardian bookshop or call 0330 333 6846.

 

CBC News, “Skateboarders who stopped sex assault among Calgarians honoured for bravery at Chief’s Awards Gala”

“Four skateboarders received special recognition after they stepped in when a man was sexually assaulting a woman, scared him off, chased him down, and held him until police arrested him.”

 

CTV NewsVancouver, “Men suspected of attacking Good Samaritan on SkyTrain identified”

“Update: Three men suspected of attacking a Good Samaritan for intervening in sexual harassment on SkyTrain last week have been identified, according to police….

———

Previous story: Police are searching for three suspects who allegedly punched a Good Samaritan for telling them to quit harassing women on SkyTrain last week.

Transit Police said the trio of men boarded a train at Sperling Station around 11:20 p.m. Thursday and started making threatening comments to other passengers.

They told one woman they were going to “follow her home,” police said, and one of the suspects sat down beside another woman and “made jokes to his two friends about raping her.”

At that point, a Good Samaritan intervened and told him to leave her alone.

Police said the suspect became aggressive, swearing at the Good Samaritan and threatening to follow him off the train – which two of the suspects eventually did.

“At Lougheed Station, the man got off the train and was followed by two of the suspects who punched him in the face and upper body,” Transit Police said in a statement.

The assailants got back on the train, and the victim boarded another car to push the emergency strip and call for police.

One of the suspects found him and punched him in the face again before the trio ran away from the scene.”

 

Quartz, “Mayor Sadiq Khan has banned body-shaming ads from London’s transit system”

“In one of the first high-profile moves of his administration, London mayor Sadiq Khan announced on Monday (June 13) that body-shaming ads will no longer be allowed to appear on the city’s buses and underground trains.”

 

Mic, “This Agoraphobic Woman Had the Perfect Response to Street Harassment”

“‘Dear driver who yelled at me for taking a selfie on the sidewalk outside Trader Joe’s, I know what you thought you were seeing,’ Mae wrote. ‘Just a self-absorbed, shallow millennial, documenting a mundane task for no reason. ‘Stupid kid,’ you might have thought, ‘not every little thing has to be documented. Put your phone away and get on with your life.’ But here’s the thing. I also know what you were unable to see: I am agoraphobic.’

According to Mae, the driver yelled ‘nobody cares that you’re going to the fucking grocery store.’

But people did. Mae wrote she has not been out in public by herself for three years, due to her agoraphobia, and ‘even when going in public with loved ones, I can become wracked by anxiety, crippled by panic attacks where I could barely breathe or talk.’

‘This morning, alone in my apartment, I experienced a flash of strange courage,’ Mae continued. ‘For once, I didn’t wait around to see if it would stay … [going outside] felt powerful. I felt free.'”

 

Guardian, “For many women, metal is our home – so why don’t we feel safe at gigs?”

“That people like me, my friend or anyone else should have to avoid concerts for fear of sexual attack perpetuates the worst metal stereotypes, shuts out the genre’s diverse community and is contrary to the freedom that the music represents. Metal gigs offer us all the chance to release our aggression in a healthy way. But only with respect is this accomplished.”

 

Syracuse.com, “Downtown Syracuse accident caused by driver honking at woman: witnesses”

“A two-vehicle accident at North Salina and James streets this morning was caused by a man honking at a woman who was walking to work, witnesses said.

The man was driving a black Hyundai on Salina Street about 8:20 a..m. when he started honking at the woman, several witnesses said. The car then pulled out into the intersection and struck a pickup truck pulling a utility trailer, they said.

Minutes after the accident, the driver of the Hyundai lay nearly motionless in the road next to his car. Ambulances arrived within minutes and the man, who was conscious, was put on a stretcher.”

 

Medium.com, “The global street harassment myth that has to die”

“I recently realized that about ten years have passed since I took my first job in a women’s rights organization. I have learned many things over these years. Here is one of them: the oldest and most widely held myth about ‪#‎streetharassment is that women’s choices about their clothing determines whether or not they are harassed.

This is especially infuriating to me because I have been harassed in rural Faryab (that is in Afghanistan) while wearing a long dress and a large scarf that covered not only my hair but also my shoulders and chest and I have been harassed in Washington, D.C. while wearing a big winter coat, work pants and high rain boots. Also infuriating is that in both instances when I spoke up against the disrespect, my clothing was blamed.

Here is why the myth that women’s clothing leads to harassment has to die….”

 

The Frisky, “Ryan Gosling Thinks “Women Are Better Than Men” And Dropped Some Truth Bombs About Inequality”

“Asked about the enormous crush the female sex collectively has on him, and how he’s arguably objectified by the same crowd of people who want society to stop objectifying them, Gosling responded:

‘It’s our time as men to be on the receiving end of the stick. I grew up with women so I’ve always been aware of it. When my mother and I walked to the grocery store, men would circle the block in cars. It was very, very scary, especially as a young boy. Very predatory — a hunt.’

As Game of Thrones’ Kit Harrington recently pointed out, attractive men in Hollywood face objectification (ogling at topless pictures of Channing Tatum, or Kit Harrington, or Ryan Gosling — we’re all guilty of it). But of course, it’s worth noting that while men who strip down are often celebrated, women who do same face no shortage of slut-shaming.

At any rate, Gosling makes the good point that the “unwanted fuss” made by “women and gay men,” which the Evening Standard asked him about, is pretty different from the “unwanted fuss” men make toward women, which, in many terrifying cases, can be street harassment or stalking.”

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment Tagged With: Argentina, brazil, canada, jordan, politics, self defense, UK, usa

Flight Attendant Stops Groper

June 21, 2016 By HKearl

Many thanks to this flight attendant for stepping in to protect this 13-year-old girl from this disgusting, predatory man!

Via CNN.com:

“A flight attendant distributing snacks saw Camp’s hand near the girl’s crotch, according to the complaint.

She described seeing a tear coming down the girl’s cheek and ordered Camp to change seats.

She moved the girl up a number of rows, ordered Camp farther back on the aircraft and notified the captain, the complaint said. The captain told Port of Portland Police, and the suspect was arrested by police and FBI agents when the plane landed in Portland.”

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: adult man, bystander, girl, groping

Milwaukee Bus Driver Hero!

June 20, 2016 By HKearl

MilwuakeeWomen like this restore my faith in humanity.

Via TMJ4:

““Driver Sharon Chambers was on her route Monday, about to pull away from a stop at Sherman Blvd. and Silver Spring Rd., when she noticed a girl waving in her direction, MCTS says.

‘I thought she was just running to catch the bus, but as she walked in front of the bus I noticed she was crying,’ Chambers said. ‘I told her to get on the bus and let her know no one was going to mess with her on my bus.’
 
The girl told the driver that a man had been following her and harassing her. MCTS says Chambers drove away from the area in case the man was still on her trail.
 
Chambers then called into MCTS dispatch, who notified police. While they waited for police at 51st and Silver Spring Rd., the driver called the girl’s grandmother, and tried to comforting the teen as well.
 
‘Don’t worry about it. You are safe. I will fight for you; no one is going to hurt you,’ Chambers can be heard saying on surveillance video.”“
THANK YOU Sharon for being amazing.
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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: Bus driver hero, bystander, girl harassed, Milwaukee

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