Shawn Ray, Croatia, Macedonia, Greece, Turkey, Iran, SSH Blog Correspondent
What does harassment look like? What does it feel like? Does it start at the top of your head and glare down to your feet to measure you, less than? Does it assign itself superior judgement or an entitlement, to bodies, space, spirit? What is its intention? Does knowing its seeds are severe insecurity and self-loathing lessen the churning in your stomach, that tells you you’re not safe?
I’ve always assumed the purpose of sexual harassment was to coerce a romantic interest, but recently, I’ve decided the people who harass passersby, know on some deep level that they would never have access to authentic relationship with their victims, and so the intent is punishment. Realizing their own undesirability so intimately sows the seeds of bitterness, that are acted on. This disease is passed on to unsuspecting children who can be inadvertently guilty of epic violation.
Violence against women in the form of harassment conjures images of dirty construction workers yelling down obscenities to unsuspecting business-women crossing the street. I submit to the reader that harassment, whether sexual, racial, religious, or social is a shaded and sometimes subversive conversation, attitude or behavior, that seeks to create a hierarchy where the harassed is degraded, and the harasser feels somehow validated.
Street harassment is not strictly the domain of the male, or reduced to a sexual nature. On the contrary, I often experience more violation at the hands of Anglo women, trying to touch my skin and hair, then men collectively.
I’ve traveled through 71 countries, and surprisingly, have recently found Split, Croatia, to be the most openly racist addition to the new EU. By openly, I mean the inhabitants have not adapted to the niceties of subversive sexual harassment. It is acceptable behavior to yell derogatory comments, to touch and even throw things at female human beings.
Travel and Leisure would paint Split-Croatia of the Dalmatia coast as a cosmopolitan vacationers mecca. The free shopping shuttles, $14 cheeseburgers and mega yachts distract from the discomfort of moving through this space, for a female body of color.
Much like vulgarity is in the eye of the beholder harassment is a subjective explicit experience, and we all know it when we see it. Street harassment is quite simply, Entitlement.
After discussing the difficulties I’ve endured, with a group of students, one replied, “Are you certain it’s racism, I don’t believe we have racism here, we have nationalism, they hate everybody, not just you.” – Heterosexual, Anglo-Croatian Male.
I would warn that when a woman discusses mistreatment, asking her to qualify her experience is synonymous with the famous, “what were you wearing?”, and highly problematic. While many of the citizens here would vehemently defend the ‘intention’ of the graffiti wall, some go so far as to accuse me of misunderstanding. At a time when the people of the Balkans are struggling to find a democratic expression and recover from tyranny, it’s surprising that anyone here would admonish a victim of mistreatment, “not to believe your eyes.” Is it possible that the vacuous space required for hostility and oppression to occur, come from the philosophy of justifying, rationalizing and explaining inappropriate behavior? Is it possible that holding people accountable to their intentions and beliefs, while ignoring their behavior and conversation is a critical component in the psychodynamics of privilege?
Just as a woman, who has been a female longer than she has been anything else, can keenly discern sexually solicitous behavior, so can a person of color clearly determine the vibration of racial hostility. I find it disturbing that these types of responses almost always come from heterosexual, Anglo males. This is the nature of privilege, it cannot see or comprehend that which does not impact it’s survival.
Street harassment is not a threat to the survival or prosperity of heterosexual, Anglo males, therefore one can easily be oblivious to the spiritual and sometimes physical discomfort it causes.
To give you an example, the former Yugoslavia is rife with hostility between Catholics, Orthodox and Muslims. In a similar situation, a Croatian Catholic woman related to me the mistreatment she had received at the hands of a Croatian Muslim cashier in a local market. Though I was present, when the man passed and commented on my friends shoes, I could not perceive the subtext of the communication as harassment, because I have no frame of reference for this type of hierarchy or the intention to diminish.
But it did not occur to me to invalidate her experience, by asking if she was sure about what she had; experienced, interpreted, perceived, or if she was certain she hadn’t in some way invited the behavior.
I chose to ask questions, and offer support for her decision to let the insult pass. I also communicated that in the future should she decide not to let an insult pass, I would support that decision as well.
Interesting is the expectation that women (of color) would graciously dismiss the consistent assaults with kind stories or polite smiles, and continue to let it pass. To plainly discuss the mistreatment scares most, and paints the victim as disgruntled, sensitive or generally bitter, and no one wants to be painted as ‘negative’. That may be a lower designation than ‘racist’ or ‘sexual predator’ in Croatia.
In Part 2, I share some of my recent conversations and experiences to aid the reader in creating an intersectional understanding of street harassment and to process my own growing disdain and lack of compassion for Anglo entitlement. It is a labor of love not to hate, and probably the most relevant work any of us will ever do. I invite you to comment and offer perspective, suggestion and experience so that I may learn from our collective experience and continue my mission to remain unconditional, if not always gracious.
Shawn Ray is an avid traveler and freelance writer/photojournalist. Also a TEFL instructor, Shawn has visited over 70 countries and lived for a year or more in several foreign communities. In 2015, Shawn followed the migration of Syrian asylum seekers from Turkey through the Netherlands. A member of GoTravelBroad, (a solo-female travel support and advocacy group) Shawn is focused on creating awareness to end violence against women worldwide, through empowering women to travel without apology.
