I’m a 15 year old girl who lives in Belgium, in a small town near to Ghent where I have been harassed a lot.
The first time I was verbally harassed I was going to a local bakery. I wore black jeans, a very warm shirt and my coat with some black boots. I was 13-14 and I had never experienced a catcall towards me. While I was walking to the bakery, an old man with a beer can in his hand made this disgusting noise which made me feel very dirty as if I had done something to deserve that awful sound and the looks he gave me. When I was home I almost cried.
I know if people would read this they will say: “Well, he didn’t touch you or he didn’t rape you…He just complimented you on your looks”. No he didn’t rape me but does that mean that it has to go to that point to be a real problem? And no it is not a compliment I don’t need to be complimented by older men when I’m walking down the street so it could remind me that I am beautiful.
A couple of days ago I forgot my key so I had to wait on my brother in front of my front door until he came to let me in. So while I was waiting I remembered I was listening to ‘Since I’ve been loving you’ by Led Zeppelin because I remember that at my favorite line in the song I heard a car pulling up. There were at least 6 construction-workers in there, at that moment I knew they won’t let me just wait so while they passed me nothing happened but when they came back they honked at me. Again I felt disgusting, I just looked down at my phone thinking: “Not again.” Because at the same spot four weeks earlier I forgot my key (It happens sometimes) so I had to wait on my brother. A car full of construction-workers pulled up and honked.
I don’t know what they expect me to do, should I say: “Wow thank you sir for honking at me from your car, I feel so much better now!” Or should I just give them the finger, but no that is to dangerous so I just ignore it, but while I ignore it, I still don’t feel better.
When I get catcalled, I feel like there is something wrong with me. I get catcalled more here in the west than on holiday in my native country, Albania. Of course men there like to comment on women as well but I’ve never had an experiences that embarrassing other than here in Belgium.
I wanted to share a story from a friend of mine who at 15 was almost kidnapped on her way home. She was on her way home from a friend’s house while all of a sudden a car creeped next to her. He rolled down his window and said in Dutch: “What will you do for money?”
Of course she didn’t respond and she was really scared, so that’s when she walked faster. The man got out of his car and grabbed her hand. My friend was lucky that she had just passed a bar when the scene was happening so a guy stepped out of the bar and slammed him to the ground while another woman called the police. The man was not arrested but it was know that he had done such things before but the police didn’t have enough evidence to arrest him. It made me feel sick, I cried because that day it could’ve been the last time I would’ve seen my friend.
I’m sorry for the long post but I really wanted to share this story because it makes me feel really bad when I get these comments on the streets.
Greeting from Belgium
– HK
Location: Near Ghent, Belgium
Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.
