Archives for March 2017

Walking home late, a guy stops blocking my way. He says, “Hello, stop for a second.” I continue to walk. Shouting after me, continuing to follow, “What’s your name? Hello? What’s your name?” I refuse to answer and continuing walking, quickly realising that it’s 2 a.m., I’m a good few blocks away from my home and there’s no one else around.

“That’s not nice. That really isn’t nice,” he calls after, some of his friends are sniggering in the car as I cross the street. This was the third time that day that some random stranger had felt the need to call after me.

– Anonymous

Location: France

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

I was waiting for a bus as far from other riders as I could. A man came up behind me and wanted cigarettes. I ignored him the first few times he asked and as he persisted I turned around and asked him when he was planning to quit and looked at the baby stroller he was pushing. He made me repeat it, and then said, “really?” and I was like yes really, that’s a (expletive for bad) example for your kid, and I walked off.

He followed at me yelling at me telling me he should beat my bitch ass, pointing aggressively at me, yelling bitch and ho, telling me he was going to f*ck me up. This went on for awhile. We both got on the bus (no other way for me to get back) and when I got off I put an iron fence between us and tried to wait. He kept yelling threats, calling me a bitch and a ho’, telling me I can’t tell him how to run his business (really? because if he’s handling his business he’s either so smart he doesn’t smoke, or buying his own cigarettes) and telling me I was disrespecting him (!) I told him to leave me alone several times, and told him I was trying to get away from him. I’d walk away and he’d follow, and that would happen again in the other direction.

Finally I ran away and called the police. They took the information, and then told me things like keep yourself safe (if that was working I wouldn’t have been calling them). They said there would be a delay in coming out. I watched a car turn the corner near my location and never come to investigate. When they finally made it out, he had vanished. I’m afraid to take this trip again, considering a weapon (not a gun) if I do. But really has it come to this. A grown young man out with his child decides to threaten and follow and say vile things to a 61 y.o. woman, right over his child’s head, and there are no consequences?

– Anonymous

Location: Vancouver

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

This happened when I was in college in Madison, WI. State Street is the epicenter of downtown, lined with small stores, filled with people walking between the capitol building and the campus. It was a beautiful summer day and I was heading to work, enjoying the positive energy around me. Out of the corner of my eye I caught glimpse of a tall, red haired bearded man sauntering towards me with a slow, odd gait. As he passed me, suddenly he reached out, grabbed my crotch and just kept on walking. I was stunned. Here in the middle of the day, in the middle of a highly populated street, a stranger completely violated my personal space and my personal being.

I instinctively yelled ‘hey’ out of shock and indignation. ‘Hey’ as in ‘how dare you touch me’. ‘Hey’ as in ‘why in the world would you do that’? And then I felt shame. Embarrassed that other people saw me in that vulnerable moment. Embarrassed that no one did anything. Ashamed because I felt like a second class citizen. Why was I the one he chose to treat like a commodity that had no value? My friends encouraged me to call the police. They brought pictures and asked me to identify the man. They seemed to be very familiar with him. I stared at the photos, all of men with curly red hair and beards. They blurred together and I chose the wrong one. The police officers were very kind and empathetic. They gave me a card with a phone number and told me to call if I ever saw the man again.

A few days later I spotted him, this time on the other side of the street. I made a bee line for the nearest pay phone (no cell phones back in the early ’80s) and made the call. The dispatcher told me to stay on the phone while she notified the nearest officer. A few minutes later a squad car drove by slowly with the man in the back seat. ‘Is that the man who assaulted you?’ I answered ‘yes’ while terrified that he would look in my direction. He didn’t.

I have no idea what happened after that. I did occasionally see him walking the streets (apparently he had a history of being a ‘street person’) but I never allowed myself to be in his proximity. The way I walk down busy streets forever changed. I walk with a heightened sense of awareness of my surroundings. I walk with a sense of defensiveness and distrust. Growing up on the south side of Chicago I had learned those strategies at an early age. But in moving to a smaller town I had enjoyed a level of trust and comfort until that day.

Now, more than 30 years later I still find myself triggered by certain actions that mimic that incident. I have a visceral response that takes me back to that moment and that feeling of disgust and shame. Logically, I know the difference. Instinctively, my body doesn’t always and can shut down in a nanosecond. If I still have such a strong reaction after all these years, I can only imagine the impact of a more intrusive sexual assault.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Provide information and training on personal safety. Ultimately we need to feel in control of our situation whether or not outside forces do or don’t offer support.

– Nancy S

Location: Downtown Madison, WI

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

It was the first day of my research fellowship in Medellin, Colombia. The other fellows and I were walking to the first site visit when we passed a few construction workers. My command of Spanish is somewhat limited, but one of the guys I was with is Ecuadorian, so he is fluent. The construction workers said something in Spanish as we walked by and I could tell the guy I was with was visibly taken aback. I asked what he had said but he didn’t want to tell me. When I finally got him to tell me, he said when I walked by one of the workers said, “You look so good I would even eat your period blood.”

I have been catcalled before, but that felt like a deep violation of my personhood. It scared me because I thought that if someone would say something like that, what would they actually be willing to do.

– AS

Location: Medellin, Colombia

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

I was nineteen traveling on vacation in Mexico with my family. I love photography and veered off the path by myself for about an hour to take pictures of the beautiful city around me. I kept noticing a car driving slowly behind me then passing when I turned to look. Finally the third time the car came around I saw that it was a local man following me while masturbating as he drove. I quickly ran to find my family feeling absolutely sick to my stomach but didn’t tell them for ten years because I was so ashamed and thought it was my fault as a clueless young tourist.

– Linea

Location: Mazatlan, Mexico streets

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.