I have retyped my answer multiple times because I don’t quite know how to write it or if I should even submit this but, I need to share my story.
I was just catcalled which is certainly nothing foreign to me, although this time it was different. The harasser followed me and was objectifying me as I walked in circles, trying to not identify where my house was. He followed me into my alley, where he repeatedly asked for my number and complimented me how I had a “fine ass”.
I’ve been replaying the new incident from approximately 30 minutes ago in my head and I just can’t utter any words to my friends or family because I am too distraught. And you may be thinking, “What’s the big deal?”or “I know it’s wrong but I feel as though she’s overreacting.”
Trust me, I ignorantly thought that, too. But you never truly know what it feels like until you’re in that moment, and as hard as you may try, I don’t think that you can ever prepare yourself for it. Because in that moment, there are so many emotions of embarrassment, anger, shame and the biggest one being fear. When a tall, strong man approaches you, you feel defenseless and don’t know the appropriate response. I’ve been watching videos and reading articles on street harassment and I have never grotesquely related to a topic more than this one today. Yes, grotesquely.
It is disgusting how a man feels as though its his right to objectify me and it’s his write to express his opinion on how he owns my body. He was commenting, “Why are you so mean? I’m just being nice!” Just being nice.
Tell me, is it nice to be in such fear of your life that your body freezes up. Tell me, is what you did so nice that I felt the need to share my story. Tell me, is it so nice to cause me so much misery, which I know very well you intended to do.Well congratulations, you’ve won. I’m now too scared to wear what I want to wear and go where I want to go all for fear of my life.
Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?
I think that this situation was almost unavoidable as there was no one around. I know that he knew what he was doing was wrong. I know that if he saw no issue with his commentary, he would have harassed me on the bus instead of waiting. I know this was not his first attack, and I know I won’t be his last.
– M.S.
Location: Chicago, IL. He was on my bus and I noticed him staring at me but I didn’t do anything because to be honest, that happens often. He got off at the same stop and started to follow me. I didn’t turn around because I didn’t want to engage but as I was in the alley and nearing my house he said hello, and that’s where the harassment began.
Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.
