To the man who groped me at Wal-Mart last week:
To you, I am just an x-chromosome
whose molecules were formed
to fit your whim.
I understand how my high-necked, long-sleeved blouse
in combination with my black work pants
were outrageously irresistible
or, most likely, how they flashed a sign that read:
“too nice to make a fuss.”
Were you surprised the way I yelled at you
and made a fuss?
Or how the sales associate, like spider-man, leaped across the aisle
and was by my side in an instant?
Did you think you were home free
when you left the Wal-Mart
exiting the doors like a normal customer
unscathed, uncaught, unpunished?
What went through your mind across the street at the Texaco
as you filled up to make your escape?
Was it McDonald’s, porn, or your next victim?
But what I really want to know
was what flashed through your mind
as you rolled down your window as the police asked for your license and registration
because even I didn’t believe how fast they responded
and caught you.
You didn’t have a mom like mine
or you wouldn’t have seen me
as an opportunity.
Instead, you might have seen me as
a teacher working nights
to pay students loans,
or a sister buying a bridal shower gift
for the bride-to-be,
or a daughter, who, after swimming for an hour with her mom
became sunburned
and only came into the store
for some aloe vera
to soothe her unseen pain.
Now, a shadow of you follows me,
despite my best efforts,
to not just stores, but work, home,
the bathroom, and as I lay down,
my bed.
Though I think I have forgiven you,
if you come near me again,
I must warn you
I have replayed what you did to me
on that aisle
with security cameras
and other shoppers around
1,000 times, and how I should have,
could have, would have reacted
so that next time you will carry me
like a shadow
chaining your hands to your side
and saving others from becoming
your victim, like me,
and from becoming part of the 87% statistic,
a club I joined without even signing up.
I still grieve the confidence you stole from me,
but I know, over time, I will get that back.
And I will heal.
You, on the other hand,
will probably take more than a lifetime
to understand the character you have built in me,
forged by stupidity, impulse, and selfishness.
Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?
Education, good families, love, respect, and for Jesus to come again.
– CS
Location: Wal-Mart in Payson, Utah
Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.
