Archives for August 2017

If I were financially able, I would never leave my home again. I’m so tired of this. I just want it to stop.

I was waiting for the light rail. I was reading and I had on headphones. A man sat near me, which I thought was weird since there was a lot of space. Plus he smelled like alcohol. I considered pulling out my pepper spray, just in case, but I was afraid that if he saw it, he’d attack me. He was gesturing a lot, and I thought maybe he was talking, but I couldn’t hear over my music. I took off my head phones and asked if he said anything. (I wanted to pretend I didn’t notice him, but the last time I pretended that with a drunk man, he spat on me and tried to hit me.) He said no, so I put my headphones back on.

But then he started talking louder so I could sort of hear him over my music. I took my headphones off again and he asked me if I was “mad about what we’re doing.”

I played dumb and said, “Do you mean waiting for the light rail?”

He said no and got angry with me. He told me, “Take your f**king headphones off, put your book down, and talk to me!”

I tried to be very sweet so that I wouldn’t make him mad. I said, “No, thank you.”And I put my headphones back on and tried to read my book.

He very loudly asked, “Is it because I’m not educated like you?”

I told him that I just wanted to read my book.

He then asked if I wanted to make money. I told him that I didn’t need money because I was coming back from work. He said he could make me 100 million dollars in 6 months. I tried to make a joke and cheerfully said, “I don’t believe that!”

He called me stuck up and again told me to take off my headphones and put down my book and talk to him. I tried to sweetly change the subject to when the light rail was coming, but he did his best to ignore me and went on calling me stuck up. When the light rail came, I stood up, and he stood so close to me that he was pressed right up against me, but I was afraid to move.

He said I should go to dinner with him. I said no thank you. He asked me if it was because he was Indian. I said it was because I am a lesbian (for the record, no, I was not lying, as several men have accused me of doing) and he was about twice my age. I didn’t want to make him angry, so I didn’t mention how it was also because nobody wants to date someone who smells like booze and spent the last ten minutes swearing at her and calling her stuck up.

He objected to the reasons I did give, saying that he didn’t want to have kids or anything. Thankfully, he didn’t get on the light rail, so I was safe. But even when I got off at my stop, I was afraid that he’d gotten on without me seeing him and he was following me. That was how afraid I was.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Men need to get it through their thick skulls that we’re not their f**k toys. They also need to stop f**king women that they hate, because maybe then they won’t spend so much time trying to get in the pants of women they insulted five minutes ago. Yes, some women need to get this through their thick skulls too, and #notallmen, but this is a primarily male issue.
Security guards also need to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it.

– Ashlee

Location: Phoenix, AZ on the central and Camelback light rail

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

I’m a 17 year old girl and I live in a nice neighborhood. The neighbors all watch out for each other. My parents have no problem with me walking the dog by myself around the block. So when I volunteered to walk the dog, my parents simply handed me a bag and the leash without any second thoughts. After what happened, however, I am no longer to go out on my own.

I hadn’t expected it to happen; I’m tall and slim with no noticeable curves. I figured most boys wouldn’t take notice of me. I know now that it doesn’t work like that.

For a while, the walk went well. I smiled at neighbors and keep myself and my dog out of the way of any by-passers. It was when i was walking down my own street to return home that i heard someone shouting my name. Confused, i stopped and turned to the car that had pulled up at the intersection across the street. it was a small light electric blue car that obviously wasn’t new. A guy i somewhat recognized from elementary school had his head out the passenger window, calling my name. he starts talking to me, saying something about how he remembers me from elementary school before i switched to private school. he tells me he remembers how we used to date all the time and kiss. I’m not sure if I’m hearing this right because i have done neither of those things in my life. i felt uneasy and anxious talking to this guy, and this time it wasn’t because of social anxiety.

That’s when he asks me if i want to kiss again, for old times sake. My blood ran cold when he said that and i immediately dropped any politeness i had been trying to keep. i tell him no. he asks me why, as if the answer isn’t already obvious. why would i kiss a guy in a car that i barely remember and know that he is lying about us dating?

He keeps talking, however at this point i want nothing more to do with him and begin to walk away. he yells something about my private area and his car speeds off, thankfully in the opposite direction. i was panicking and felt absolutely repulsed. i wanted to be out of this body that felt so dirty. my skin felt like it was crawling, trying to get off. it did not make me feel confident or happy. it did not feel like a compliment. it made me feel like an object or toy. i spent the rest of the evening feeling disgusted of my own self and scared.

– Anonymous

Location: My neighborhood

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

I was walking past my local park on my way to the shop in Fernhill Heath. My 8 month old son was in the pram, he babbled happily. Three men were in a parked van. They were speaking to another man on the street outside a house where I’ve heard them swearing and shouting horribly at young children (although this may be completely unconnected). As I walked past they shouted “nice arse” “Oi I’d definitely do that” “Oi, Oi” “come on back here”.

I dangled a toy in my sons face to seem distracted and didn’t react. A few minutes later the van drove past me slowly, they shouted more of the same out of the window. They stopped at a cross roads, waited for me to catch up then very slowly drove out of the junction. They stopped and looked back at us, finally they drove off.

I felt frightened, mainly, and worried as to how I could keep my baby and me safe. If they wanted to do anything they could and I wouldn’t be able to stop three men. I wondered if they did anything to girls or women in that van. I’m also angry, I take my children to that park often and when I take them out I want them to feel safe with me. I don’t know how to ensure they feel safe when I don’t.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

A more respectful society where people are valued. People bully others to feel powerful. When we promote inequality this gets worse. Education and making it a shameful act would also be a good aim. Men who do this should be shamed by other men and women.

– Gemma

Location: Fernhill Heath, Worcester, UK

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.