I began noticing that I was receiving unwanted male attention when I was a teenager. It made me feel dirty, taken advantage of, wrong, ashamed, and angry. I am surprised to find that at 30 years old, as a confident, empowered woman, it still makes me feel the same things.
The other day, I was wearing a sheer maxi skirt over shorts, waiting alone at a crosswalk. A turning truck featured a young man hanging out the window of his car gawking at me for a solid seven seconds. I went from enjoying a summer day to feeling exposed, horrified, and livid. I wished I had my boyfriend with me, and then thought, in 2018, I can’t believe that a woman would still want male accompaniment for protection.
I glared back at the young man, but it wasn’t enough. In street harassment exchanges, I always feel like they have the upper hand. What can I do to react quickly enough to make a statement to him and others that THIS IS NOT OKAY? To fight back and not feel powerless?
The very next day, I was walking back to our car from a nice restaurant, arm in arm with my boyfriend. My skirt was mid thigh and I wore low heels. A car pulled in from the road and a man honked at me and shouted, “Hey, you!”
I flipped him the bird and kept walking. Now I feel that I can’t wear what I want, what makes me feel stylish and beautiful, because of men. Not only do I not make myself pretty for men, I must make myself ugly because of them?
I am a tango dancer, but that night at class, I couldn’t dance with anyone. It affected my life, my passion, my hobbies, all because I felt so powerless. That my male friends would not understand. That my female friends would say “that’s life,” and “don’t wear short skirts.” I downloaded a wallpaper on my phone that says “F**K OFF!” that I can quickly flash at strangers. I don’t know how, but men need to be called on this shit.
Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?
React – negatively. Let the offender know that he has upset you. Let the people around you know that he has misbehaved and you are not going to be quiet about it. Keep your eyes open and stand up for other women. If I so much as see a man checking out a lady, I will ostentatiously watch him. He needs to know he has an audience for his choices.
– Elizabeth M
Location: Dunwoody, Georgia
Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.
