Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
I hate catcalls.
I hate car horns.
I hate men shouting.
I hate being called beautiful.
I hate being told to smile.
I hate the eye-f**k.
I hate the lewd, sexual slurs.
Which means there’s a part of spring I hate.
Spring is the season of street harassment.
When both the hours of the day
and the catcalls from random men on the streets of America multiply.
– Michelle Marie Ryder
I was walking towards my college after helping a friend. It was around 7 pm. It was a little dark road and I was walking alone. There were people behind me and in front of me. And then this motorcycle comes from the back with 2-3 people on it and one of them slapped my butt and sped away. I just couldn’t understand for a second what happened. And I felt shaken and powerless and I couldn’t move. I feel so disgusted with myself. And I just keep thinking about how I could have done it differently. How I could have taken a different route. Or taken a cab. But I didn’t. And I feel so dumb. I don’t feel my butt is a part of my body anymore. There’s this weird tingling feeling that won’t go away. I don’t think it ever will.
– Anonymous
Location: Chennai, India
Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.
Connie DiSanto, USA SSH Blog Correspondent
Stop Street Harassment’s, recent national report found that 81% of women reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault in their lifetime. While this statistic is unfortunately not surprising, the study also found that 43% of men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault in their lifetime. We know that numbers are overwhelming higher for women and girls who have experienced sexual harassment and assault, but the numbers for men and boys are in themselves, alarming too. And the #MeToo movement is continuing to reveal the enormity of this epidemic.
It’s been said that colleges could have predicted the #MeToo movement. Working at a college based crisis center, my colleagues and I already know that sexual assault and harassment occur at high rates on campuses across the nation. The #MeToo movement has sparked new energy into the work that continues to be done on campuses every day to protect survivors of sexual violence.
Working with one of our student peer advocates, we decided to give our community (students, faculty and staff) a chance to be in the #MeToo movement by offering them participation in a photo essay exhibit to be displayed during International Anti-Street Awareness Week. I asked a student assistant of ours if he wanted to participate in our #MeToo exhibit. He has been working with our program for over three years now, first as a trained peer advocate and then as our student direct services assistant. In the latter role, he is responsible for managing our fleet of trained students who work our 24/7 crisis hotline. We are fortunate to have both female and male students working with us to help end violence on our campus.
He told me that he wanted to help support the exhibit but he didn’t realize that I was asking if he wanted to participate in the exhibit. I could see from the look on his face that he was confused and wondering why I thought he could participate. I explained that the movement was for anyone who has been impacted by sexual assault or harassment. He understood but was still not seeing himself actually in it, rather as someone looking in from the outside. We talked a bit more and he was able to recall an incident that happened to him, however, he felt it probably ‘didn’t count’ and that it wasn’t a big deal. I asked him to play out the incident with the genders reversed. He immediately thought it would be wrong if a male student had said the same thing that was said to him, to a female student. I pointed out to him that it was wrong for a female student to say those things to him too. Sexual harassment is wrong, regardless of gender.
Rape culture, particularly on a college campus, emphasizes the myth that “guys can’t get raped” and boys learn at an early age that they are supposed to want to have sex with girls (and women in some cases), even when they don’t. Some boys and men don’t even realize when they have been sexually harassed or assaulted. Boys are taught the concept of masculinity which feed into ideas of what it means to be a man; that they should not show emotions, should not be sensitive and they should be dominant, especially over girls. And as boys grow into men, male gender norms can cement these toxic ideas of what a man should be.
Traditional gender norms are a social construct and are damaging to everyone, but we as a society can change them.
Connie is the Marketing Communications Specialist for the Sexual Harassment & Rape Prevention Program (SHARPP) at the University of New Hampshire.
Patrick Hogan, Chicago, IL, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
Stalking is perhaps one of the most frightening forms of street harassment. It’s an experience that 1 in 5 women have experienced in public spaces by a stranger and 1 in 3 women have experienced, period (by known persons or strangers).
The University of Michigan’s Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center describes six types of stalkers based on stalker’s motivations: “rejected stalker”, “resentful stalker”, “predatory stalker”, “intimacy seeker”, “Incompetent suitor”, and “erotomania and morbidly infatuated.” The University’s Center also notes that “Even though there are general categories of stalkers, that does not mean that every stalker will fit neatly into a category. Stalkers can have any characteristics and come from any type of background.”
Whether a stalker is an ex-romantic partner, delusional and infatuated with a victim, or a stranger intending violence, the dangers of being stalked need not be reiterated.
For this piece, three women shared their experiences as stalking survivors in the hopes that their experiences may help inspire action.
Woman #1 was riding a public train home after spending the day downtown Chicago visiting family when a man moved from one side of the train car to sit next to her. She thought this behavior was weird, but did not think much of it. The man proceeded to talk to her, at first friendly, starting with a greeting and a discussion of the weather. What had started as a pleasant discussion rapidly deteriorated as the man began making sexual comments about her body. She was clearly uncomfortable, and got up to leave the train at the next stop. The man got up to leave with her. They both left the train and the man continued the barrage of inappropriate comments. She swiftly walked down the platform away from the man, past other people, as he followed her. Finally, she slipped a canister of pepper spray out of her purse, turned, and aimed the pepper spray canister directly between the man’s eyes. His eyes got wider as he realized what was looking at, and turned to run away.
Woman #2 was leaving a business lunch, walking down a busy side walk to return to her car parked a block away. A man walked up to her and began inquiring into her relationship status. She told him she was uncomfortable with his questioning. His response: “You bitch! F**k you!” She jogged away as he shouted and followed her. She ran into a coffee shop and he did not follow her in.
Woman #3 was walking home from her gym when three men began to follow her no more than 100 meters behind. When she noticed them tailing her, she turned around to confront them, asking, “What? What do you want?” The men laughed and one shouted back: “You, whore!” The men kept following her while other pedestrians moved to the adjacent sidewalk so as not to walk past the men. She called 911, and notified the men with another shout, “I’m calling the cops!” She ducked into a nearby store, and then men did not follow her in.
All three instances demonstrated startling and tragic commonalities: the women, who were each alone, were stalked in broad day light and in crowded public areas, but they did not receive any assistance from anyone else. People could have helped them, but no one did. Perhaps people were scared, perhaps they did not know how to intervene, perhaps they do not want to do the right thing. Whatever the reason, it was not a good enough reason for staying silent.
These women stood up for themselves but the men lashed out or escalated their behavior. The onus cannot be on persons who are facing harassment and stalking alone to stop incidents. These women offer their stories as a lesson to us all—to you, the reader. Be an active bystander; do not allow people to fear for their lives if you can do something to help them. If one person stands by to help a victim, others may join in.
Complacency and apathy cannot be accepted when someone else’s safety is endangered by a stalker. Hopefully, in the #MeToo era, similar testimonies will end with victims being helped and the harassers sent away. But that can only happen if people–individuals, you and I–stand up as advocates, choosing to get involved rather than shying away when harassment happens in front of us.
Patrick is an undergraduate student majoring in anthropology and minoring in Islamic World Studies at Loyola University Chicago, preparing to continue onto law and graduate school. He is particularly interested in legal anthropology and the ways victims are viewed by legal systems.
