This year I experienced the Holi Festival in Udaipur – it is the festival of colors… and sexual harassment. People on the street wish a “Happy Holi,” and then smash colors in your face.
In the morning, everything starts quite nicely and polite, and it’s fun exchanging colors and watching your face design change every other second. But there was a moment when I asked my travel friend, if he also gets hugged by all the guys. He said none of the young Indian men tried to hug him.
By midday my ass had been grabbed several times and young men that wanted to take selfies had touched me on several spots of my body including ass and boobs. I wanted to get out of the crowd and find a quiet place somewhere. This mission happened to be a mission impossible as there were groups of guys everywhere – rushing through the streets on motorbikes or gathering on the street – that seemed to have lost complete control and had a very aggressive straight forward attitude.
I got slapped in the face by one of three guys passing us on a motorcycle and hit by several water bombs thrown at my neck. Then one guy asked me if he can kiss me, I said no and lied about my friend being my husband… which didn’t change anything at all, as I had to jump up cause he just tried to kiss me.
By that time (maybe 2pm), I could only see young men on the streets, and for the first time while I was in India, I didn’t feel safe anymore. Not even a male company seemed to impress those guys. To get me out of target zone we walked towards a restaurant with a rooftop terrace we already knew.
Therefore we had to pass a pathway between a river and a house. I could already see maybe six or seven guys play fighting on this path and stopped, but as they said it’s just fun and opened the way for me to pass, I thought I’m good (although I didn’t really like the idea of walking between them with the only chance to move forward or backward). When I passed they kind of jumped on me, at least three of them and hugged me, touched me and tried to kiss me, with my back against the wall. I think the others separated my friend from me. I somehow managed to push through them out of the sexual harassment zone, whereas they tried to follow.
My friend said he pushed one of them aside. I couldn’t see anything, it all happened too fast. I just knew that it was not safe anymore. We waited for two hours at the restaurant before getting back to the accommodation. I spent a lot of time thinking about the incidents and my friend read an article about women in India and that actually smiling at a man, not to mention physical contact of any kind (even shaking hands), uncovered shoulders, hugs and selfies should be avoided. So it’s all on the women’s side again?!?
I feel angry and upset towards myself, that I always evaluate my behavior before I react. And as a woman, I always think I might overreact to a situation. And then again I’m angry that I’m angry with myself. That makes no sense at all. Cause it’s men’s misbehavior.
I want to fight against this social fact that women always have to defend their behavior whereas men so many times just get away with it. If a man gets touched by another man, there is an immediate direct reaction. They would never think about the possibility of overreacting. Never. They just react how they feel. It really pisses me off, that it’s so hard for me to just do the same. To say, no it’s not okay to stare at me, no I don’t like you touching me (even if it might be without any sexual motive… which my friend points out never happens… there is always a hidden motive if a man touches a woman).
I hate being a target and I hate the men that make us women feel odd when we draw the line, giving us the impression we overreact. No we don’t. We have the right to say if we don’t like what’s going on. And we need support by all the men that see it the same way. Stand up for our rights!
– Cornelia
Location: Holi Festival/ Udaipur/ India
Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.
