Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for October 2018

“I feel uncomfortable around grown men”

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I’m 12 years old, and I’ve been catcalled numerous times, but this one is the first time it happened to me; I was in Taksim, a popular place for tourists in Turkey with my older cousin. A man was walking behind us, but it was daytime, crowded and everyone was walking at the same direction. So, I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t even notice him.

Then, I saw an interesting event so I turned around to record it. As I grabbed my phone, the guy (presumably in his 20s) whistled and winked at me. I’ve never been catcalled before, so I felt really scared, vulnerable, and small. Really, really small. I’m a strong, athletic girl, even compared to some adults I know, but when I was going through that, I felt so vulnerable. I’m only 12! What if he pulled out a knife? What if he drugged me? He continued to follow us for 10 minutes straight.

I didn’t show that I was scared, but it really struck me. I knew he couldn’t do anything, there were too many people around, but I couldn’t help but feel threatened. I was paranoid he was going to drug me since he was walking behind me. Since he followed me inside a few shops, I knew this wasn’t just an ordinary catcall. This guy was up to something, so I spoke out, “Can you leave me alone?” I said (in Turkish).

He laughed, blew me a kiss and left. I was so anxious the rest of the day. I didn’t make eye contact with anyone. Even though it wasn’t physical, it still affects me to this day. I’m still getting honked, barked at by guys in cars passing by at night. I really feel small and vulnerable, I might be strong compared to my peers, maybe I might be able to run away or defend myself, but it still gets me shaking whenever it happens.

Everything about rape, violence, kidnapping that I’ve seen or read just comes to my mind. What if I become the victim? What will they do to me? I can’t walk comfortably at night (or day) anymore and fyi, my clothing wasn’t even revealing. Maybe it showed my curves a little, but that still leaves them no right to commit these predatory actions.

I feel a little better when I see women fighting back against street harassment, it really helps me. But still, I feel uncomfortable around grown men.

– Anonymous

Location: Taksim, Turkey

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“It is so pervasive and intimidating and insidious”

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I was honked at today, just like I was honked at last week and last month and on and on.

I was walking my dog, alone, in the early evening like I do absolutely every evening. I was wearing hiking shorts, sneakers and a flannel; obviously, dressed to impress. A dark grey Mercedes sedan drove up behind me and honked loudly as they passed. And like always, I was startled and scared. I clearly jumped because my otherwise calm dog barked, and as I turned to see what the commotion was about, the car’s passenger waived blithely at me as they sped away. Oh, and he had a pink rubber wrist band on the hand he was waving at me. So he … what? was supporting breast cancer awareness while simultaneously harassing random women on the street?

And honking seems like such a little thing – but it is also so pervasive and intimidating and insidious. Insidious because on a case by case basis, it’s no big deal. You walk it off, brush it off, shrug it off. But it happens ALL THE TIME. And for what? Have these d-bags ever once actually picked up a woman (who is obviously just going about her day) by honking at her or (the other fan fave) yelling at her from the open window. Doubtful. But it scares me every time. Every time.

– MC

Location: W Gray Street, Houston, Texas

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“I was first catcalled when I was in 3rd grade”

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I am currently 13– Catcalling doesn’t happen much since I don’t walk places very much and I only go to school and back by a school bus.

I was first catcalled when I was in 3rd grade. I didn’t know what catcalling was so I thought it was just some idiot calling out to me from the safety of their car.

I continuously get called out to when I do walk uptown where I live.

I would be taking a walk just to get out of the house and I would be minding my own business when some older men think its ok to say “I’d love to beat that ass” and other inappropriate and unpleasant comments.

I know I don’t look but that definitely doesn’t mean when I’m walking down the street that  I’m giving you the right to say what you’d wish to do to a 13 year old girl and make her boyfriend punch holes in his wall because you can’t control your own mouth. Be a man, grow up.

I would say making it illegal to catcall, if it’s not a law already. If it is a law, we need to have stricter punishments.

— Bonnie “Dashe” C.

Location:

Greenwood, South Carolina, United States, Main Street

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“I wish people didn’t have to fight to be believed”

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* Trigger Warning * – rape

 

It all started when I was 6 and now I’m 18, but I have lost track of how many times that I’ve been sexually assaulted.

The first time that it happened I was 6, and it was my brother and this went on for two years. I didn’t tell my mom or dad because I was terrified about how they would act or if they would even believe me.

Sometimes I would heard my dad make snide comments about how, “they were asking for it with way they were dressed.” I was dressed in pajamas at the age of 11 when my dad assaulted me on the way home. This continued for a year and a half, until I moved in with my mom.

At the age of 14, I got my first serious boyfriend (or I thought at the time) whose name is Alex. I remember the worst night with him was when Alex was forcing himself on me. He pinned me down and did exactly what every other guy in my life has done.

At the age of 17 I was raped again. I was walking home from the gas station, which was a couple of blocks away from my house. I remember the way his hand twisted around my neck and started to choke the life out of me. I was terrified. Petrified. I tried fighting, back but nothing was helping. He choked me so much I passed out. I woke up on the ground of an alley way.

That night I went home balling my eyes out and tried taking a shower to get the feelings of all of the hands off of me. I wish I could say those were the only times, but they weren’t. I’ve lost track.

I remember breaking down in the shower, trying to scrub the feeling of their hands away all while contemplating suicide. The next day I was supposed to spend time with my boyfriend (who I’ve been with for three years), and once I saw him, I broke down. I broke down in tears and told him everything, and for once I could breathe. He took his time with me and made sure I was doing okay. He encouraged me to talk to my mom about everything that happened and slowly but surely I did.

She actually believed me, and told me her past, and we broke down in each other’s arms. To this day, I haven’t seen my father and brother.

Telling them about what happened doesn’t make it disappear, but it makes it easier in some aspect. I just wish more people took it as serious as they did. I wish people didn’t have to fight to be believed. Although to this day I feel dirty and when someone grabs me too tightly I get scared all over again. My body freezes up and I start to have a panic attack, and the entire time, I’ll have flashbacks of all of those nights.

– KE

Location:  Fort Wayne, IN

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“Unfortunately, my instinct was right”

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It was a mid-afternoon on a beautiful and sunny fall day. I had just finished class and was walking to the bus stop across from McMaster University. I sat, minding my own business, waiting for the bus to arrive, when a middle aged man sat next to me.

If you are a woman reading this, then you might know the uneasy, instinctual gut feeling, of an unknown man sitting in the seat directly next to you, when four other seats away from you exist, unoccupied.

I had a bad feeling he would say something, but I ignored my thoughts, because not every man that sits close to you is going to say something inappropriate… right ? Unfortunately, my instinct was right. The man asked me if I “wanted an older man” because he could teach me things in the bedroom I could never dream of, then proceeded to list off just the things he wanted to do to me, which are much too explicit for this post.

I was in shock, no one I’d ever met had said such disgusting things to me. I stood up and walked a few feet away, praying that the bus would come sooner, and it eventually did. Unfortunately, the real fear came after I stepped into the bus and realized that he was also getting on, I never wanted to not be a young woman so bad in my life. I was genuinely scared this man was going to follow me after I got off the bus. I got off the bus a few stops away from my home, making sure the man was not following me, and clenched my phone wondering how well it would work if I needed to use it in an attempt to defend myself.

My beautiful fall day had turned into something dark and frightening. I felt frustrated trying to understand why I deserved this treatment?

– Madelaine D

Location: Hamilton/Ontario/Canada

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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