It was my junior year in high school, and I was in my car, window down, about one block away from my private Catholic school, where a casual “welcome dance” was taking place. I was wearing all red, including red lipstick, because that’s what juniors had to wear, and due to the amount of kids walking along the sidewalks in the area towards the campus, it was very obvious that I was an underage student. I was playing the song “take on me” from my car window to embarrass my friends when I entered the parking lot, and I was excited. Then it happened. A man, clearly over 18 (I would argue late 20s), pulls up next to me in his car. He rolls down his window and says, “Hey there sexy, aren’t you something to look at.”
I was uncomfortable, and genuinely afraid when I heard this. I avoided eye contact and stared straight ahead, silently begging the light to turn green. He then continued, despite seeing my obvious discomfort, saying, “You know, I love that red lipstick of yours…” and proceeded to tell me in explicit detail where exactly he wanted my lipstick to be.
I was disturbed, afraid, and horrified. I was underage, and had very little experience with boys in general, so It hurt even more. I started to roll up my window, he grew angry, telling me, “I know you want it,” followed by yelling profanities such as “sl*t, c*nt, and b*tch.”
Police were around me, as they were headed to the dance as well for security, and they didn’t notice or, if they did, they did not care. When I arrived to the dance, I took off my lipstick, crying, and blamed myself. I was wearing was a T-shirt and red lipstick, I was underage, I was in the safety of my own vehicle. How did this happen?
I blamed myself, when this man, who thought it socially acceptable to say these things to me, was the one at fault. I hoped I would never experience something like this again, but unfortunately I’ve dealt with harassment multiple times since then. We need change, it needs to stop.
Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?
Long term, we need to change the thought that women are at fault for street harassment, and end rape culture. To do this, although difficult, we could try to push for laws against street harassment.
– Anonymous
Location: California
Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.
