I work at the university and free street parking is scarce, so I left early to find a parking spot close to my building. I found my preferred spot was taken by a white truck, a trailer and three men in yellow construction vests. I found a spot a few yards down which meant I had to walk past them.
As I approached I heard one of them grunt a greeting and instinctively turned to see who had spoken. Immediately after seeing my face the 1st man asked his coworker if I was a Native girl. The second man said no. She must be African American, they mulled it over before the 2nd man settled on Cuban. They said this all while I was feet away, obviously in earshot.
At first I wanted to brush it off, but by the time I was inside I was fuming. I was uncomfortable, confused, and angry. What gave them the right to talk about me like that?
All the insecurities and fears of being a women of color in public washed over me. I struggled with what to do next. It seemed like too small an incident to report or even talk about but I couldn’t let the experience go.
I decided to call my husband who went into action. He went and collected the license plate number and the company name, and spoke with the men. Turns out they are not allowed to speak with the public. He even took it a step further and called the employer. When I learned they would be around the university on a project for a while, I filed a police report.
I still don’t know if I responded correctly. I am not one to make waves, even when it means standing up for myself. I struggled to know if my experience met the definition of harassment. I was not hurt or threatened, just ignorant men talking about my race as if I were an object.
It took time to realize that yes, it was harassment. It was unwelcome behavior based on my race. I lost 2 hours of work productivity and the feeling of security coming to and from work and that is unacceptable.
I started thinking of everyone who has experienced harassment and those who will experience it, including my daughters. Suddenly it hurt too much to stay silent.
I know others may see what happened to me as no big deal, but I decided to send the message that harassment of any degree is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?
To end harassment we need to talk about it, write it down, share your story, and educate others. We need to support those who experience harassment by creating loving and supportive spaces where we can share and discuss our experiences. By opening up we will learn what harassment looks like in all its ugly forms. If we all know what constitutes harassment we can gain courage to step in and stop those behaviors.
– AJ
Location: Flagstaff, AZ
Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.
