I was maybe 10. 11? I don’t remember. What I do recall is that I really wanted to see the Human Spider, a “freak” sideshow at the New Mexico State Fair. I gave the attendant my ticket and went through the curtained door into a dark room. In the middle, a badly costumed “spider woman.” She had a wedding ring on one of her “spider legs.” Even at that age, even in the darkness, I could tell how fake it all was. But what I couldn’t do was this: confront the man who came up behind me in the burgeoning crowd to rub his erection on my hand. I froze. My vision narrowed to that bored “spider lady,” her strange wedding ring, the musty darkness of the exhibit. When I finally walked out into the sunlight once again, I was a different person.
Many years later, I was sitting in my mother’s living room talking with my mom, a friend, my husband…I think my kids were nearby…I don’t recall. It was night, and I was facing the big picture window that looked out on the street. What we were talking about…I don’t know anymore. But I remember seeing movement just beyond the short wall and the pine tree. It distracted me and I squinted to see what was moving beneath the dim streetlight. It took a moment for the reality to register–a man in a white baseball cap was there on the sidewalk, masturbating and staring right at me. The look of horror on my face shocked my husband who leaped up and rushed outside, not even knowing what it was that I saw. The man took off, and was gone. A few weeks later, a man was caught in a nearby park trying to grab a passing jogger. He had a white baseball cap on.
– Ana June
Location: Both happened in New Mexico–The first in Albuquerque, the second in Santa Fe.
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