“Don’t talk to me like that”

I was stopping at a convenience store on my way home from running an errand after work. I was dressed in my attire from work that day – a knee-length pencil skirt, short-sleeved top and heels. There were two men loitering outside the store as I entered, and one of them asked me if I had a lighter as I passed. I replied politely (and even apologetically), “No, sorry, I don’t,” and continued into the store.

I noticed while waiting in line that the two men were still outside loitering and talking to other patrons filling their gas tanks, presumably still asking for a lighter. By the time I came out of the store and headed toward my car on the other side of the gas pumps, the men were walking away and were now a short distance down the street. When they saw me, they turned and started walking back, shouting in my direction. I momentarily ignored them and began getting into my car, but before I closed the door I heard one of their shouts, “With a body like that, ma…”

I stood up back out of the car and turned to them and shouted back directly and clearly, “Don’t talk to me like that; don’t talk to anyone like that; and I didn’t ask what you think of my body,” and got back into the car.

They continued walking back toward me, still shouting/commenting to me, though I now had the car door closed and could no longer hear them. Before I drove away, I noticed that a truck with two men inside had pulled up next to me and were yelling back at the two loiterers on foot. I assume by their intervention and sympathetic looks that they were defending me and/or yelling at the men for their comments. It made me really proud for speaking up and proud that there are bystanders who will step in and do the right thing, too.

As always, I credit this community for the awareness and encouragement of standing up against street harassment. These stories and dialogues enable me to envision how I could handle harassment before it occurs, so when it does I am prepared and not flustered or caught off guard. I love that this community helps us all stand up for ourselves, influence others, and ultimately effect positive change. Thanks & kudos to everyone who contributes to these discussions.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

– Sarah

Location: Valero Corner Store, US Hwy 281 N just south of Thousand Oaks, San Antonio, Texas

Share your street harassment story for the blog.