By Angela Della Porta, SSH Correspondent
I live in a small town. It goes without saying that I see many of the same people over and over again. I also work at a convenience store for the summer, which certainly has its downsides. (I could write a book about the drags of working customer service, but now isn’t the time.)
I experience street harassment every time I’m walking down the street. Despite the bigoted assumptions people often make about where and by whom street harassment is perpetrated, I am often greeted with harassing comments by “family men” in the rural, racially homogenous area in which I live. Being in a small town, there are very few places to shop, and I’m constantly faced with the situation of forcing myself to be friendly, helpful, and polite to men who harassed me hours before. More often than not, their harassment doesn’t stop there – I get lewd comments on a regular basis, ones I have to accept jovially with a smile for fear of being scolded by my boss. While it’s never fun to paint on a smile for customers when you don’t really feel like it, it’s somewhat different to be forced to smile and accept sexually harassing comments from people you know you’ll see every day. If I had a dollar for every time a man made a comment about my appearance, told me he’d “show me a good time” when buying alcohol, or told me he’d like to buy me (people have actually said that) when asked how he can be helped, I’d double my wages. I’ve actually been told that I should be friendlier to these men and laugh because they’re just joking.
Now, as a community of people against street harassment, we’ve decided that saying something to your harassers is an excellent tactic to put them in their place. However, that’s not always easy – or even possible. When I’m harassed among my friends, I often feel hesitant about shouting back because I don’t want to embarrass or upset them. When I’m with my family, I know saying something to a harasser will seem like an overreaction and potentially cause a scene. If I feel as if I might be putting myself in danger by saying something, I won’t speak up. There are many reasons why the decision whether to speak up against street harassment may be ambiguous or difficult to make. However, until now, I had never had that decision taken away from me: I cannot respond to my harassers or I will lose my job.
While speaking up personally against harassment can be a huge tool for anyone who is constantly bombarded with comments and gestures, it’s not enough. We’ll have to continue to fight against misogyny and patriarchy to really change hearts and minds. That’s why the work that Stop Street Harassment does is so important, and why getting involved can really make a difference. Share your stories. Write, tweet, Facebook, submit your stories here! Until we’ve created a culture in which it is inappropriate to harass women, men will continue to do it whenever and wherever they can. So, make your voice heard whenever you can.
Because at the moment, I can’t.
Angela Della Porta is a recent graduate of Clark University in Worcester, MA. She will join with Teach for America in Detroit in the fall. Until then, she’s spending her time in rural Maine. Follow her on Twitter: @angelassoapbox
