USA: Street Harassment by Older Men

By Lauren McEwen, Washington, D.C., USA, SSH Correspondent

If I always responded to street harassment with the same amount of energy I’d never arrive anywhere on time. So I have a go-to response for each “level” of street harassment: a grimace for a leer and a mild proposition (i.e. “Damn, baby. Can I walk with you?”), a raised middle finger for a honking horn, and so on.  Every once in a while, when I’m too tired to respond, I’ll just pointedly ignore the harasser. It’s not the most revolutionary tactic, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy. Or worse, it happens so quickly that I don’t have time to process what was just said or done to me, and spend hours afterward wishing I was physically capable of kicking myself.

But I can never ignore street harassment from elderly men. There’s something especially predatory and disconcerting about having a man old enough to be your grandfather ogle at your body or make sexual comments about it. Denying any street harasser’s advances could potentially lead to a verbal confrontation or put me in physical danger but when an elderly man harasses me, the playing field has morphed. I struggle to balance the need to defend myself with the engrained belief that I should always respect my elders. And I truly believe the grey-haired men who hang outside of the barbershop near my house know that I’ve been taught to respect them, and manipulate their assumed power every chance they get.

Or maybe they’ve spent so many years sexually harassing strange women without being called on it that they don’t realize that it’s wrong. Maybe they’re unaware that now that they’ve grown older, they’re behavior is no longer just “creepy,” but breeches unspoken agreements between the young and the old.

But is someone who is willing to sexually harass a stranger on the street still worthy of respect? I don’t think so. So I’ve taken to shouting back at a 70-something harasser just like I would one of my peers.

I’ve seen elderly men who make suggestive comments to women significantly younger than them get one of two reactions: either the woman will respond with an awkward smile and rush away in her discomfort, or she will act disgusted by his advances. I assume that the harassers tell themselves that the awkward smile meant she “appreciated” the “compliment.” The disgusted act means she’s ill-mannered and rude.

So I changed my approach. When I’m harassed by an elderly man, I tell them exactly how I feel. I look disappointed or angry and say, “How am I supposed to respect my elders when they don’t respect me?” It’s usually direct and pointed enough for my harasser to realize exactly what line was crossed. That I trusted him to behave a certain way because he was older than me, and that he ruined it. I don’t care if I’m an adult – I expect men my grandfather’s age to see me as a child. It may sound irrational, but if society teaches me that I should respect my elders, then shouldn’t they behave in a manner worth respecting?

Lauren is a recent graduate of Howard University where she majored in print journalism with a minor in photography. You can check out more of her work at laurenmcewen.weebly.com and follow her on Twitter at @angrywritergirl.