I’m a 21-year-old girl with a unique style. I have a funky hairstyle that I used to dyed blue, several piercings on my face and my outfits stand out. I also dislike wearing pants so it’s short skirts for me all the time (the length is max. a bit over knees) and I used to have a pet rat on my shoulder all the time so it’s safe to say I get a lot of attention when I’m on the street and I also live in a very small and closed-minded country.
So when I walk by, people stare and comment all the time. I really don’t mind them staring since it is a bit different and people stare when they see something they’re not used to. Sometimes, when I’m in a good mood, I even smile back. From time to time I even get some nice comments and questions about my style and about my rat which I always answer politely and I even feel happy about it.
However it’s not so pleasant all the time in fact my experiences are rarely pleasant. Since I’ve had this style for several years I ignore the dirty looks and I wear headphones most of the times so I don’t hear rude comments. I even used to tell rude guys that came up to me and called me names right in my face that I have a crazy skinhead boyfriend who fights a lot. I made that up but it made them leave me alone.
I get a lot of comments around Halloween because apparently people fell the need to tell me every year that Halloween was tomorrow/yesterday. I usually ignore those as well but I remember once I was already in a bad mood and I was walking down the street with my friend (she also has a different style) and a couple of guys drove by and one of them yelled from the car, “Hei!! Halloween was yesterday!” then I snapped as I was already in a bad mood and yelled back, “Guess what? I hear that every year! next time you want to yell at someone on the street at least make it original!”
The guy then had this shocked face and just rolled up the window of his car and drove away. This particular situation wasn’t so bad since in the end I told them what was on my mind and I hope that because of the shock they won’t do that ever again, but I do get mad about the whole idea in general. I could as well walk around and tell everyone that wears different clothes then me, “Oh nice costume but Halloween was yesterday!” and believe me sometimes I do think that of some outfits I see on the streets but I don’t because it’s rude and I have no business telling people what they should wear and I would appreciate the same.
Besides rude guys the most attention I get is from – you won’t believe me – old ladies. They always comment on how I’m dressed and how I look and once some old lady even yelled at me and my friends that god doesn’t love us because we were all wearing black. I thought that one was really rude even thought I’m an atheist.
My latest defense from old ladies is that I calmly and nicely tell them, “You know, you shouldn’t judge others because maybe next time someone else will judge you. Didn’t you read the Bible?”
When I say that I also start pointing up. That one always makes them quiet. Also you know what? Not everyone that wears black is a crazy satan worshiper who kills virgins in the name of the dark lord of hell, so please if you have a grandmother that doesn’t understand that please explain it to her because it’s really annoying and besides you can’t really go to police and say that an 80 year old woman harassed you on the street.
I do have many many stories but I really want to share the episode that happened a few months ago and was really one of the worst. I was on the bus on Sunday around 1 p.m. I slept over at my boyfriend’s place and I was wearing leggings and skirt and a hoodie also no makeup and my hair was in a ponytail so besides from piercings and a metal hoodie I looked quite “normal” because I really don’t get all dressed up just to go on bus. Also since it was Sunday the buses are usually empty. The ride is also around 40 minutes. I usually don’t take that bus but the one I do doesn’t drive on weekends. I didn’t know at the time but I found out pretty soon that it was a football game that day and the fans here are really famous for being totally nuts and fight a lot. Also the stadium is only a few stops away from where I live.
So back to the story: I was sitting on the seat for 2 people because as I said earlier buses are usually empty on Sundays so I was sitting on one seat and I had quite a big purse so I put it on the other seat but had a strap around my shoulders. I had my earplugs so I couldn’t really hear anything and I was sitting by the window and was looking out so I wasn’t really paying attention then when I felt something pulling and I look around and there was a guy sitting on my purse!
I thought that was really rude he couldn’t even, you know, poke me a bit so I could move it. So I pulled my purse put it on my knees and rolled my eyes. I really thought that was it and started looking out of the window again. Then I felt something hitting me in the arm every once in a while at first I thought it wasn’t on purpose so I just moved a bit more to the window but then it started more often and it was getting painful I figured out that he was hitting me with his elbow and also his girlfriend was the sitting on his lap and they were making out like inches away from my face and then they were yelling so even thought I had earplugs I could heard them and they really pushed me to the corner and totally invaded my personal space. So apparently they wanted to get me off my seat so they could sit there. I reacted after several minutes when my arm began to hurt because honestly I couldn’t believe that someone would be even doing something like that; I was so shocked.
I finally had enough and hit him with my elbow as hard as I could and took back my space. He totally freaked and started yelling what is wrong with me and he even looked me in face he was just inches away and he had the most psycho looking face I ever saw and he was really huge and I don’t even know how I got the courage to look him back with the pissed off look on my face and show no fear and tell him “what the f*** is wrong with you?” He then yelled, “I can’t even sit here anymore!” he pushed his girlfriend off she almost felt on the ground and then walked away. When he walked away my hand wouldn’t stop shaking and my arm was then red for several days I’m actually surprised that it didn’t bruise because my skin is really light and I get bruises really easy.
I only regret not telling the girlfriend that I she should be ashamed. If my boyfriend acted like that I would dump him on the spot. She even laughed at me. I bet that if he can easily hit girls on the bus because he wants to sit he’ll eventually start hitting his own girlfriend as well. I bet she won’t think it’s funny then. But I couldn’t really say anything to her because I was in shock and also I really didn’t want him to come back I could only act super brave for a while and I was there alone and even thought there was a bus filled with male football fans by that point none did anything. As I mentioned before these dudes are crazy and are always fighting among each other but apparently football is more reason to fight then if you see someone getting hurt. I’m not really the type of girl that wants to be saved by a big strong man but still come on!
I’m sorry for the society we live in where someone can just keep hitting on a bus with bunch of people and none does anything and I’m sorry for that girl. I really hope they broke up before she got hurt.
– Anja
Location: Ljubljana, Slovenia
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