About a week ago, I confronted a couple of catcallers, for the first time in my life.
I was walking through the Scottsdale Hilton on the way to meet a friend who was visiting from Seattle. The open-air hallway took me past a portion of the pool patio, and as I walked by I heard whistling. A few times.
Not that it matters, but I was wearing conservative, professional, and loose-fitting attire and a pair of flats since I’d come straight from work. Hair tied back, no makeup.
Normally I just ignore this shit because sometimes I feel like directing any energy, even negative energy, toward these idiots is somewhat of a reward system for them, but as I approached the building door I thought, “You know what, no.” I turned around, scanned the area and saw a single table with two late 20s/early 30s men sitting at it, surrounded by plenty of empty beer bottles. As I approached them, they smiled, half-drunkenly, half-incredulously; they must have thought I was going to give them my number or some kind of lap dance. I was almost expecting them to high-five each other because AW SHIT SHE’S COMING OVER, SCORE!
“Hi,” I said. “I notice you’re the only two people out here, and I’m the only person walking past. I just wanted to let you know when you whistle at women, it’s incredibly offensive and demeaning. I am a human being, not an object that exists for your viewing pleasure.”
“It’s okay, you’ll get over it.”
*commence internal rage*
“Well actually, no, you’ll get over it. Because as straight white males with enough money to stay at the Hliton, you have the privilege of being able to choice of how you address people around you. YOU get to make the choice. I don’t. So no, I won’t get over it. I’ve been dealing with it for years.”
At that point, I turned and walked away, and continued on to go meet my friend. My heart was pounding, and my adrenaline was racing. As much as those two douchecanoes made me want to SCREAM, it felt really good to be able to call them on it. Honestly though, I wasn’t expecting such a quick retort from them.
So much work to be done…
Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?
Get more male buy-in to combat street harassment and blatant sexism. Some kind of campaign that encourages men to call out their peers instead of letting thing slide or shaking their heads/rolling their eyes being the most common way of expressing disapproval.
I really wonder what the response from these two would have been if my male friend, who is 6’4″”, 260 lbs, and covered in tattooes would have called them out on their behavior.
– Greta
Location: Hilton Scottsdale Resort, pool deck, Arizona
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