What scares me the most, is that I’ve gotten used to street harassment for the most part. I’m 23 and it’s a daily thing. I don’t dress provocatively and I don’t walk around by myself at night but that doesn’t seem to stop me from being harassed. I want to confront my harassers but most of the time I just try to find a way to simply get out of the situation, because I’m afraid of putting myself in greater danger and I’ve just started to think of these experiences as normal.
I often have cars stop by me in my neighborhood and guys will comment on my appearance or try and pick me up as if I am a prostitute. One time, I was walking from the grocery store to the bus stop only to look behind me several blocks later and realize that a guy had been following me all the way from the grocery store to try and demand my phone number from me.
The worst experiences are always on public transportation though because that is when I feel most trapped. One day I was riding the L and an older man came on the train with me, commenting on my shoes and appearance. As soon as I stepped in the train car, I realized it was totally empty besides us and when I sat down, he sat right next to me, trapping me in my seat. He continued to talk to me and rub his leg against mine which made me feel so uncomfortable and violated. I told him I was calling my mom who was in the hospital and wanted to have a private conversation, and could he please move away. He refused to change seats at first but then he did move and got off at the first stop. I feel lucky that something worse didn’t happen. I would have been powerless. Plus, I didn’t end up even getting through to my mom because the phone signal was so bad underground on the L.
These experiences constantly affect my personal choices and freedom of movement as I try to protect myself from these kind of situations. Plus, they continue to build up an unhealthy distrust of men.
Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?
Overall, we need to stop blaming women for street harassment and start trying to change culture so that these experiences are not the norm for women. I could be wearing layers of clothing, walking around in broad daylight with a friend and these things still happen. Men need to gain more respect for women’s personal space and be able to listen to what women are communicating.
I think it’s also important for women to start speaking out against this behavior so that we don’t let it just become a normal part of our lives. Let’s not act as if men own us or our lives revolve around men. Instead of refusing to give someone my phone number because “I have a boyfriend,” let me just not give him my phone number because I don’t want to and he doesn’t have any claim to it!
– Anonymous
Location: Chicago, IL
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea
