Biking from school (art school is open till late) at 22.00, it was raining cats and dogs. Since I didn’t got a raincoat, I could feel the water running down my skin into my shoes. In an attempt not to get to grumpy, I started to sing. Almost home, I needed to enter several tunnels and here there was a man looking for some shelter. Being polite, I smiled and immediately I regreted my kindness.
He started shouting at me, HE WET PUSSY! and so on. The harder I biked away, more demented his voice became. Not sure if he even ran after me for a bit. It made me so angry, aggressive even, but I was definitely no match for him. I said something like: Let it be!
It was like oil on a campfire. As if my response gives him all reason and meaning to what he did and he shouted even more. Luckily I could escape this time. But I do fear the next encounter, since this is the second time seeing him.
What can I do? Change course? That feels like surrender and takes me even longer through the dark. Same way to night/next week?
I’m scared he’ll rape me. I feel ashamed for my kindness and guilty that I put myself in danger after being raped before. Despair for not having control over my own safety, where people say its a save country and where I should be grateful for my rights. Right? To hell with that!!! All this, because it rained…
Zula
Location: Netherlands
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