I was waiting in the early evening for a bus into Boston to meet friends and a man sitting on the bench, smoking, asked if I wanted to sit down. I smiled and said no, thank you. He asked if I was a snob or something. I thought he was rude, but explained I have asthma and being close to smoke can trigger an attack. I then put in my headphones, to try to end the conversation.
He tried asking me which bus I was waiting for and I acted like I didn’t hear him. After a few minutes, he got up, walked over and pulled one of my earbuds out. I stepped back, but after a few minutes, answered his question. He then started asking where I was going in Boston. I lied and said my friends hadn’t decided yet. He asked me for my number and I said I couldn’t give him mine, but I would take his.
He was already aggressive and invading my space, or I wouldn’t have tried to placate him by taking his number, but he became furious when I wouldn’t call him immediately. He was shaking and red faced, spitting in my face as he yelled. Fortunately someone else came to the stop at this time and he backed away a little. He continued asking me questions, like where I lived, where I was going and called me a f*ing bitch when I wouldn’t answer.
Just then the bus pulled up and I ran to get on. He ran after me and grabbed the back of my dress and my shoulder. I almost fell, which helped me break free and I jumped on the bus, ran past the driver, while trying to open my mace. The bus driver immediately stepped between us and told him he needed to pay or get off the bus. He stood there calling me names and trying to push past the driver, who then started to radio for assistance.
When he heard the cops were coming, he got off the bus and walked away, making gestures at me and screaming. I was so incredibly grateful for that driver’s actions and said so.
If he and the other person waiting hadn’t been there, things may have gone differently. The hardest part was I spent weeks trying to figure out what I could have done differently. What if I just ignored him from the beginning? Would that have made him escalate sooner? Should I have walked to a different stop? What if he followed? I go through incidents like this often when waiting for/on the mbta, walking home from the grocery store, etcetera, but the fact that he was physically violent in front of other people made it much worse.
– TL
Location: 556 mbta bus line, Waltham and Newton, MA to Boston, MA.
Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.