I still get a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach at gas stations when I’m alone. I would pull over constantly months after the occurrence while driving, in fear I was being followed again. I stopped wearing dresses and skirts for a while, my favorite things to wear. I was blamed for what had happened to me…
A man watched me at a gas station. I paid no attention, pumped gas in my car, and left as quickly as possible. I thought I was being my usual worry-wart self when I sensed he was following me. Through stoplights, unexpected turns, and neighborhood streets all the way to my then college campus I could see that man in his car in my mirror still lingering behind. After calling 911 and luckily having a faculty member help me, he sped away. Once when recounting this experience, it was suggested to me that this occurred because I was wearing a skirt that day and that is why he followed me after spotting me at the gas station.
So when I am out running in jogging pants and a sweater, I am getting whistled at because of what I am wearing? When I am in the grocery store parking lot in winter clothes and a scarf and getting inappropriate comments yelled my way, it is because of what I am wearing? When friends and I are hollered at when walking in the dark, it is because of what we are wearing?
He harassed me that day because of a skirt?
Street harassment is a learned behavior. How can it be addressed when we are focusing on the victim instead of the harasser?
Street harassment continues its prevalence towards anyone, wearing anything, anywhere. I cannot count the number of times I have been catcalled in my 21 years and it is disgusting at how frequent this occurs to myself and those around me. Hearing “smile, beautiful” or a whistle or “it was a compliment” just makes me cringe. Street harassment has become a social norm among cultures where this behavior is considered tolerable. Victims are the ones left to alter their actions and behaviors expecting these interactions to occur.
Although I think back often to that experience any time I feel anxiety creeping up or may feel even the slightest hesitation leaving the house in a skirt, I know now that I was the victim. I know I am not alone in the world with people experiencing street harassment daily. It may be difficult to think about your experience, let alone write it for others to read- but someone who reads it could relate it to their own experience and think “there’s nothing I could have done to prevent it from happening, it wasn’t my fault, and it wasn’t because of the way I was dressed.” At least I try to remind myself that and sharing your story could remind others too.
Jill Santos is a 21-year-old college senior, a califoregon girl. Follow her on Instagram @jiillionaire
