Hope Herten, IL, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
If we had a daily post limit for life, I would have to be quiet for the vast majority of my waking minutes. Talking is one of my favorite hobbies; I’m an expert in forming opinions and I’m a speaking-my-mind frequent flier. As a person who always has something to say, why can’t I stand up for myself when faced with unwanted harassment?
A combination of fear and surprise is probably the top contributing factor; rarely am I approached when I am expecting it or by someone less threatening than me. Though I tell myself that maybe not saying anything at all is the high road, I can’t help feeling that an inability to speak reinforces the power structure being exploited by my harassers.
Often we are taught that it is better to say nothing at all than to speak too quickly and let our emotions run away with our words, and though many intelligent men and women have preached this ideal, I have come to struggle with it, particularly in the last few weeks where harassment has become more frequent in my life.
Is it better to say nothing when patriarchal men try to assert dominance over you in public than to say something that may come out wrong? Does it make a bigger impact to ignore a harasser or give him a piece of your mind? Are harassers impacted at all by what you say or don’t say to them? Am I showing my strength by saying nothing or am I admitting defeat? None of these questions seem to have a clear-cut answer; there is no prescription for patriarchy, no magic words to make someone see what they are doing is harmful.
My conclusion comes back to my favorite aspect of feminism: choice. Silence can be a deliberate act of defiance, refusing to let an oppressive voice cause you to lose your cool and say things you don’t mean. Simultaneously, refusing to stay silent is a choice to empower yourself in a different way, vocalizing your refusal to submit. For some, being forced to speak out of anger or fear can help reinforce the power structure that harassers are acting in. For me, silence isn’t a courageous act. I am scared to speak when harassed in public for fear of saying something wrong, I am afraid of angering the harasser, and I worry that what I say won’t matter. I need to remind myself that I am strong and intelligent and that despite what my words mean to an oppressive body, they mean a lot to me and I will not be made silent by a complete stranger.
I want to remind all of you, that no one should make you do something that makes you feel like a lesser person. Whether you remain silent or speak up, make it your act of protest. Don’t let a single person or moment push you down, because as a collective, feminists are coming together to give you the freedom to go outside and not have to make the choice at all.
P.S. If you are looking for some great suggestions Stop Street Harassment already has some, here and here.
Hope is a full-time undergraduate student studying public health and Spanish in Chicago, IL. If you want to keep up with Hope you can follow her on Twitter @hope_lucille or check out her public health blog.
