I live in a small town and have always enjoyed walking, and as long as I can remember this enjoyment has been dampened by catcalls and harassment regularly. I learned to “ignore it” because that was “just the way some guys are.”
I was taught to stay safe, avoid walking alone in certain neighborhoods and at night. I was taught that to say anything back when construction workers or drivers harassed me would provoke them further, so I accepted these tense moments during otherwise pleasant walks in my hometown.
One of the worst memories I have of street harassment was when I was walking home from a wonderfully calming yoga class, feeling all at peace and grateful for my life and my surroundings, when I started hearing men’s voices yelling and squealing the “p” word for a part of a woman’s anatomy. They yelled it over and over, and I felt degraded and afraid. I walked as fast as I could and called a friend the minute I got home to tell her what had happened. The guys were gone and I was safe but still felt horrible. This made me extremely angry.
A few days ago I was sitting in my parked car in a public parking lot in town, with my window down while I talked on the phone with a friend. Another car pulled up beside me, and a woman got out of the passenger side and walked into the store. The man who had been driving followed, and I kept on talking on the phone. Suddenly the man appeared in my window saying, “I don’t mean to scare you or anything but you are beautiful.” I told him, “That does scare me” as he hurried away. My friend said I should not have let him know I was afraid, but it was just what came out at that moment. I did drive away immediately after, though. We joked about what I should have said. (“I have an STD”??) But in all honesty this is not a laughing matter and men need to know that we do not like it or find it flattering when we are approached by strangers complimenting our appearances.
I put a “PSA” as my facebook status to the men about it. I think some guys feel obligated to do this, or that we need it to help our self esteem. For me it is extremely offensive that a man would think he has a right to say anything about my appearance when I don’t know him, let alone when I’m on the phone alone in my car.
I’m glad this is something that is being taken seriously. Too many guys think they are entitled to harass women or don’t even see what they are doing as harassment. I dream of a day when women can go about their business in the world without having to deal with this stuff. Thank you!
– Anonymous
Location: Pennsylvania
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