It was a beastly morning at work. First Monday of the month, and it is Christmas season too, so it was hard. At lunchtime I clock out and decide to go to the Riverwalk to de-stress and get some fresh air with a side helping of peace and quiet before going back to the chaos (and chaos it was, since 5 minutes after I clocked back in the phones were ringing off the hook…yep it was a Monday).
The Riverwalk is several yards down the street from my building. It is an approximately 2.5 (well that’s what they claim but I swear it’s longer) stretch of concrete winding it’s way through some forestry alongside the Flint River. I can usually go down and count on a good hour of solitude while I walk and work off my temper.
Today solitude was not to be, at least until I opened my mouth and got really nasty.
A few yards down I became aware of footsteps sounding behind me. Didn’t think too much of it at first until I really listened…the footsteps were matched exactly to my pace, step by step. I slowed down and lifted my phone as to check my text messages and turned to look. It was a guy dressed in a white t-shirt and the barely-hanging-on-his-butt jeans that a lot of the guys around here favor and as soon as he noticed me stopping he ventured off to go check something in the woods…or at least pretended to.
This repeated itself for another quarter of a mile and I finally stopped, sat at a bench, and proceeded to pretend to check something on my phone while the guy walked off only to veer off the trail again and go hang out by the water. I noticed he kept looking back at me and at one point when he did I took my cellphone and snapped his picture to forward to the cops or post on Holla Back at the very least.
Finally I guess he decided I wasn’t going to budge and he finally made his move. So he comes up and starts to open his mouth. “What’s your–”
“My name is Married Woman and I am here to enjoy some peace and quiet on my lunch break. I’m in a bitchy mood and if I wanted to get hit on I would have gone to a bar. Now go away before I forward your picture to the cops, whom I have on speed dial, and file charges for harassment.”
He left. Quickly. Good.
But WTF?!!
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After telling this story on my own personal blog I responded to a comment made by a friend with this passage that everyone thought I should repost here:
The stuff is serious because it is evidence of a larger societal problem and a huge degree of sexism and misogyny in particular…that women exist solely for the amusement and gratification of men and that we don’t own ourselves, our bodies, our looks, or the right to exist in public in peace and have our personal space respected. These guys don’t see a woman and think of someone they can get into a long-lasting meaningful relationship with, they see pair of breasts and buttocks and feel entitled to our attention and affections on the sole qualification of having a penis.
And that’s what makes me angry, that guys who do this sort of stuff don’t see you and I as people with our own feelings and desires. They see us as trophies, potential possessions for them to win and own and show off.
It is ultimately dehumanizing and even monstrous. So people who don’t think this is such a big deal can kiss my pale butt. It is a huge deal.
– Tracy Nichols
Location: Georgia
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beckie says
good for you!!!!!!!!!!